Lonely Hope
by Danielwain
Summary: Well, a story about Alphard and Canaan. It differs from canon in quite some ways, though we try to keep the characters in character as much as possible. A lot of our interpretations are different, especially our interpretation of Alphard. It will eventually lead to Alphard and Canaan becoming a couple, though it will probably contain quite some angst until then. One year postcanon
1. First Move

Introduction: Well, just a quick introduction, feel free to skip anything not related to the story if you aren't interested. This story will be written from the POVs of Canaan and Alphard, first person. The story takes place one year after the events of the anime and picks up where the story ended. It will eventually lead to yuri, if you don't like that you are free to leave, nothing forces you to stay.

If you don't know what yuri is, though that is rather unlikely, it means a love relationship between two female characters and may include sexual content, which this story probably will, later on. We shall also warn you that violence is likely to occur, read it at your own discretion. With the warnings out of the way, please enjoy the story!

...

**Canaan's POV**, her apartment in Shanghai, one year after the events of the anime

...

It has already been one year, hasn't it...? One year since Alphard fell into what I though would be her certain death. Just when I felt that I could forgive her, just when I felt that I could reach out for her, just when I did reach out for her... It was one of the worst experiences in my entire life, I have never been this shocked, for some reason. She was out of my reach again, forever, or so I thought.

It happened in seconds, one moment I was trying to convince her that her life should be saved, the next moment my gun fell down and she caught it... I thought she was going to kill me at first, or at least try it, but she didn't. She shot herself in her arm, again and again, until the small amount of flesh that was left couldn't support her weight anymore... I could do nothing but watch how she fell, her warm arm still in my grasp...

I never quite recovered from that shock, I think. I still have my friends, but I haven't met any of them since then, all I have been doing was searching for Alphard... I couldn't sense her anywhere and I didn't find her body, not even a trace of her after I let her arm fall as well... I didn't want to cooperate with Natsume Yuri anymore, I always felt that she wasn't a good person, but she was always reliable as my informant when it came to Alphard.

I have been hunting the Snakes after I recovered from the initial shock. I was afraid of losing something important to me ever since I lost Siam, but I always failed to realise that Alphard was also important to me... but even as I hunted down the Snakes I never found any traces of her at all, it was as if she really had died. But sometimes... Sometimes I could swear I saw her from the corner of my eyes, but I couldn't find her afterwards, even with my synesthesia...

She must hate me more than ever now, she chose shooting off her own arm over being rescued by me... but even so, I want to meet her. I never saw anything in her but a monster who killed someone both she and I had seen as our father in cold blood before that event on the roof of a train and I still don't feel good about it, but I want to know her motivations...

While investigating the Snakes, just as always, I got myself another informant, his name seems to be Kodoku. He had a lot of valuable information for me and I felt that I was getting closer to Alphard every time I got a hint from him, but it usually just turned out to be some operation set up by the Snakes. I always thought that the Snakes would disband without Alphard as their leader, but I am probably wrong, unless Alphard is still their leader.

But if that was the case she shouldn't be so damn hard to find. Kodoku seems to be a rather high-ranking member of the Snakes, but he hasn't heard anything about her name, except for other members saying that everything was better under her leadership. I don't really care about their new leaders or even the Snakes themselves, it was never about them. They do terrible things and I want to stop them, but Alphard was always my motivation...

One year... I have even adopted her looks, a little bit... Now I have a ponytail that always reminds me of her whenever I look in the mirror. Natsume always told me that I had some sort of obsession with Alphard, now she says it has gotten far worse... not that I give much about her opinion, she betrayed me. If it wasn't for her knowledge about the Snakes and her resources I wouldn't work for her anymore.

*Ring* Speaking of the devil... a quick glance at my mobile phone reveals to me that it is indeed Natsume, not that I was expecting something else, I didn't give my new number to any of my old friends. This is between Alphard and myself, I don't want my old friends to get caught up in all of this again. Didn't Alphard say something along the lines of wanting to break free of her curse? I will have to scold her when I meet her...

"You have work." Just as friendly as I remember her... I really rather wouldn't work with her and I didn't give her my new number, but she still found me. Well, this way I can also get some information out of her while doing her dirty work...

"You never learn, do you? I can't believe you're still asking me to do things." Well, maybe this will soon be over...

"I could say the same thing about you. And your target this time isn't an easy one." Hm, this isn't the first time she tried to bait me with such a statement. But all the other ones were small fish, compared to Alphard...

"Who is it?" I do hope it is her... I want to settle all of this, once and for all.

"A woman who only has one arm." This... After all this time... one year since I saw her and a lot of time before that. This chase is finally getting to an end, though I don't know how it will turn out. I offered her my hand once, but she rather lost her arm...

"All right." I hang up on her without further exchanges and bite off the piece of candy I was just eating, she will just send someone to deliver the information I need. My weapon is ready, though I hope I won't have to use it on Alphard... All I can do now is wait... I hate waiting! Well, I have been waiting one entire year for this very moment, so I should be able to bear with some more hours.

I wonder how all of my friends are doing... I wanted to tell them, I wanted to be with them some more, Mino and Yun Yun, but especially with Maria... But I don't want to put them in danger, the Snakes are still rather pissed off because I defeated Alphard and apparently killed her. I don't want them to take my friends as hostages ever again. All of the Snakes who knew much about my friends are dead or gone, so I should stay away from them...

Well, I can check out my e-mails, maybe Kodoku wrote me a message. It isn't exactly a very save method and he must risk a lot to give me these hints I need, so I still put other people in danger. Hm, though he is just a terrorist, isn't he? I don't even know why he is helping me... Well, his information didn't lead me to an ambush even once, so I guess he is reliable. Natsume tried to find out more about him, but he can hide himself quite well, apparently.

Indeed, there is an e-mail. As always. I have been 'talking' with him for quite some time now, I just feel that I can trust him. Strange, considering that I could never meet him in person and use my synesthesia to make sure about that. Well, I rarely used it unless it was necessary during this year, I have been relying way too much on it before that. I still use it during fights, but other than that I try to get along without it.

"Dear Canaan, I have send Natsume information I obtained about a meeting of the leaders of the Snakes, apparently the one-armed woman Alphard you were searching for will also attend said meeting. It has been big news within the higher ranks of the organisation and the members are trying to keep her comeback as secretive as possible, but Natsume will probably send you over, won't she?"

As always he is very well-informed about Natsume, almost too well-informed. They have been aware of each other for quite some time and they don't really seem to get along very well since Kodoku somehow found out about her. Well, they obviously never met, but Natsume has probably been trying to hack his account and blow his cover or something like that. Well, he does seem to help her out now...

"That is quite a great risk for me, I have been doing my best to lay low, but if I were to approach you in any other way than through e-mails I would probably get caught, therefore I must reject your offer of a talk on phone or even meeting. It takes a great amount of efforts to just send you these e-mails to begin with, but I don't want to bother you with the details. Let's just say that usually nothing gets out from inside the Snakes without them noticing..."

That much is true, they are very good at hiding themselves. So he has to take many risks and it must be a lot of work for him... I feel somewhat bad for him, I would almost consider him a friend. I have been telling him a lot about myself and he was very understanding and always found the right words to cheer me up. I think I consider him as a friend, even if he is a terrorist and I never met him. The past year would've been much harder without his support...

"Well, it has been a long time now and I hope you can settle whatever you have to settle with Alphard. How long was it? Eleven months? Not that it matters. I wish you the best of luck on your new mission, if the legends of the Snakes are to be believed Alphard is a very formidable opponent, but you managed to defeat her once, right? Do your best, whether you want to destroy her or something else."

I... I don't want to destroy her, not under any circumstances... After losing her that time I realised just how much she means to me... even if she killed Siam and almost made me lose those precious to me... she is still one of them. I don't think that feeling will ever go away, especially not after seeing what was behind her cold and uncaring veneer. She had it even worse than me, all that time without a single flicker of hope...

"With that said this will probably be our last exchange, won't it? If you pull this off the Snakes will probably be no more, with all of their leaders assembled, even Alphard, at one spot. If you can take care of us tonight that will be the end of the road for the Snakes and probably myself. Well, I can't say that I don't regret it a little bit, it was better when Alphard was still there, but that's how it is now. Don't feel bad about me, just do what you have to do. Sincerely yours, Kodoku"

Well, he is a leader or at least a high-level member of the Snakes if he has access to such qualified information and he probably committed his fair share of crimes for that organisation as well. I still would kind of want to let him off the hook, it would feel wrong to kill him in spite of the fact that he is the reason I might get to meet Alphard now. Would he really have to come? I mean... I should at least try to help him somehow.

"Thank you very much for your continued support, I don't know about your motivations or your goals, but it was a great help. I know that you take great risks in doing what you do and I appreciate it. Won't you tell me who you are? Maybe you could wear some kind of special clothing or something like that to show me that you're you? That way I could take care of things without killing you, you know?" And send...

I have even talked to him about my past with Alphard, we weren't always on bad terms, I once looked up to her as my older sister... but all of that changed when she killed Siam, our 'father'. I wish we could all return to the way things were before she did that... both of us were friends with Maria back then and we were having fun together, even Alphard, I think... Or was it all just another act of hers? I don't even know...

Kodoku said that I would never know unless I'd ask her myself, though it didn't fit any of the stories he heard about Alphard while working for the organisation. I guess Alphard was rather cruel towards her subordinates, though I never saw much of that. Is she really the monster the world seems to perceive her as and am I just seeing what I want to see in her? Or is it the other way around? I just don't know... All the more reason to find out!

I don't think anyone ever really understood Alphard, even I don't understand her at all, even now... If I didn't meet Maria again and made friends with her and the others I might have ended up as bad as Alphard used to be, if not worse... She always was able to control her hatred, until the very end. Though that flame was probably extinguished some time before our last confrontation, there was just... loneliness... Oh, I received another e-mail.

"Hey, you shouldn't worry about me, I know how to take care of myself. As if some rookie mercenary could take the great Kodoku down! Well, just kidding. I think I'll wear a purple trench coat or something like that, if you have to know. And why are you asking me who I am? I already told you, I am Kodoku. Just your average terrorist... Well, either way, good luck. I hope you'll be happy with the outcome, whatever it may be."

Somehow what he said right now was very familiar, though I can't exactly remember what... I could swear that I've heard something like that before... Well, that doesn't matter. Purple trench coat? Got it. I will try to spare him, if I can. And the rest of those Snakes... I will probably kill them or take their venom from them. That way they will be harmless and Natsume or someone else can take care of them.

After this will be over I'll take my leave from all of these stupid government organisations and all of that, I just don't want anything to do with that anymore... The only thing tying me to all of that is Alphard, if she could let go of her past I would be free as well. I was so close, that day on the train... but losing her didn't bring me the freedom I once thought it would, it just created a different hole in my heart...

I will definitely get her back, one way or another. Though that could prove to be pretty difficult... Alphard was always stronger than me, up to our last battle. Even then I don't know if I would have been able to defeat her if she hadn't slipped, though I don't think she was really trying to win at all. She never really seemed to want to kill me, she often ended up saving me instead...

I really want to ask her what she was thinking at all those times when she had perfect opportunities to kill me but didn't... Was it just so that I would hate her even more? Was that really what she wanted? Even when I tried to see through her, there was no blue, almost never did she fight me with that colour, it was always something different... *Ding Dong* Oh, I guess that is Natsume's informant. I quickly get the door.

"Well, here we are. I guess this will be our last mission together like this, won't it?" Natsume herself? That's unusual, I almost never met her during that time... Maybe this is the real deal, maybe this will be the end of everything, all those things still haunting Alphard and myself... "Though I really wouldn't trust that man."

"Kodoku? He hasn't betrayed my faith even once. You, on the contrary..." She has betrayed me more than once. The research conducted in that village... Alphard wanted to destroy it, but it got out of there. Not with Alphard though... There were many other instances as well, the soldiers who destroyed that place and probably killed... Hakko... they were also send by her, weren't they? Redemption? Don't make me laugh...

"Well, I think we will both be happy to put an end to this business relationship, you do good work, but you've just become too obsessive with _her_." *Sigh* Well, all of this should be over soon, I really look forward to leaving her. I don't like her, nor do I trust her... Who knows what she might want to do? I don't think she would let Alphard leave that meeting alive under any circumstances, much less pardon her. Well, who would do that either way...?

"What I obsess over or don't is my personal affair, isn't it? Let's focus on business instead. What do you have for me?" Discussing whether I am obsessed with Alphard or not won't get me anywhere and I will just think of something once I meet her. Well, if Alphard really wanted to be forgiven she could work something out, she was always better at scheming things than me, I was usually just there to thwart her plans, though that also seemed to be a part of her plan...

"Yes, you are right. We have received information from that man, Kodoku, about a meeting that supposedly will take place in Europe, France, in three days. I have already ordered the tickets, the flight will take off tomorrow at 5 am, I will come for you, so I would suggest that you catch some sleep." It is already evening, isn't it? I guess it would be a good idea to catch some sleep, I have to be rested for our mission.

"We have to remain hidden so that we don't startle the Snakes before the meeting has started, right?" If we alarm them somehow they will probably retreat and if they did I don't know if Kodoku could still provide us with information about the location or the time of the next meeting or if there'd even be one, so we should definitely not screw this up. Especially Alphard would not get caught if she would come and knew we were coming. If she doesn't know already...

"See you tomorrow." I close the door before she can even respond, I really don't want to have any more contact with her than necessary. If only I could convince Alphard that she should stop being a terrorist... If I can only get her to come with me she could make up some sort of a plan, we would be invincible as a team, just how we used to be, back when Siam was still... We may never get these days back, but still...

I put some clothes into a bag and my other equipment, my Beretta Px4 Storm Type G, some bullets, a knife and a sniper rifle. Natsume should have arranged a private flight, the Snakes would most likely keep an eye out for the public airports, so we'll have to land somewhere else. That will probably mean a long trip with some sort of vehicle. Being stuck with Natsume in a small vehicle for hours... Oh joy...

Well, if that is what it takes to bring this to an end I have to make some sacrifices, I guess. Though I really have the lingering feeling that Alphard will be expecting us, just as she always did. I can't remember a single time when I managed to surprise her. Well, even if she didn't expect us she could probably improvise some sort of a plan on the spot, she was always like that, two steps ahead of me...

But I don't think she ever really wanted to kill me, she always let me go, even if she defeated me or when I was in a position where I was unable to defend myself. She was still very rough with me, she would still kick me if I was lying on the ground and insult me, but she never really did try to kill me. She had many chances to do that, yet she didn't even try to use one of them for real, from what I can tell...

She told me that she wanted to transform me into a monster made of hatred as herself to get her revenge on Siam, but if that was what she had wanted she could've killed me when I confronted her on the toilet at the International Anti-Terrorism Meeting, I was consumed by my hatred for her at that time, I could feel how I was consumed by the darkness while fighting her, I didn't even try to resist...

Yet she let go of me yet again. I don't know why though. I told Kodoku all of this, he said that Alphard might just have cared for me for all this time... He also told me a lot about his own past, it wasn't very much unlike ours, just like us he was raised during the war in that region, he used to believe in Alphard, but he mentioned that the Snakes got depraved during Alphard's abscence, though I never thought they could get more depraved than what they were under Alphard...

It turns out Alphard was keeping them in line all of this time, she always did great things and civilian casualties couldn't be avoided, but those were never her goal, she always had other plans, though no one seems to know what they were. Now the Snakes are really terrorising the world, random bombings at shops, armed raids on banks and many other despicable crimes, they do it all now. I wonder what Alphard is planning with them...

*Yawn* No point worrying about it now, I guess. I should really get some sleep now, no matter what plans Alphard might have and how things will go I have to be in my best possible condition for that encounter. I turn off the lights, undress and slip under my blanket, staring at the ceiling while the sun outside is setting. I wonder what Alphard is doing right now...

...

**Alphard's POV**, somewhere in France

...

Here I am, in a rundown and abandoned old building, probably some block of flats before it was abandoned completely. The walls are of a dull grey and the windows are broken, there are burned spots on the old carpet and the crumbling wallpaper looks like skin that someone tried to rip from the flesh, the wounds old, but still so fresh... We seem to have a lot in common, this building and I...

Just like it I can't seem to get rid of the past, can I? I shot off this cursed forearm of mine once on that train, hoping it would end my misery and set us free... yet here it is again, firmly attached to my upper arm, as if it was never missing to begin with. I can even move it as if nothing had happened... Fate seems to have a great sense for irony, reminding me of the fact that I will never be free, unless I finally do reach death. But killing myself just won't do it.

If I go out I want it to end with a bang, a blaze of glorious flames consuming my very existence while the whole world watches, especially Canaan, or Canaan alone... I have given her all of the hints she will need to come here and finish this once and for all, regardless of what she wants to do with me. She doesn't want to destroy me? She is so naive... I had always hoped she could set me free someday...

Well, we shall see. In three days it will end, one way or another. Canaan must have gone insane over that past year, choosing to pursue me even after I appeared to be dead. She could have just left the stage and moved on with Maria and her other friends, maybe she could have even become a normal person, she does know how to do things other than killing. I only learned that and practised it for all of my life...

Curse the Snakes, they are responsible for me having this arm back... I was unconscious when they found me and Canaan probably let my forearm fall down after I fell, though it is beyond me how the Snakes managed to recover it in time to get it back on. In appreciation of their deeds I killed them as soon as I woke up and made it look as if our enemies had found the hideout and blown it up with me still in it, they apparently fell for my deceit.

This organisation isn't what it used to be, I always had great plans laid out so that Canaan could intervene and even when she apparently won I still was the real winner for she was a part of my plans. Now they are just a common group of thugs with more resources than others, resources I build up over the cause of years. And they are practically throwing it out of the window, a successful raid on a bank takes so much money that it's hardly worth it...

I always had a good sense of irony and my plans had a certain sort of elegance and foresight, these people calling themselves the Snakes... they will pay for taking over **MY** organisation. I will show them that even a dead snake doesn't lose the deadly poison it's known and feared for, rightfully so. That's right, I am already dead, that is exactly what Canaan told me. I knew, but I didn't want to acknowledge it at that time, these schemes made me feel alive...

Once I have conquered my organisation once more I can step down from the stage of life, I can finally rest if Canaan would just kill me. Deciding the fate of a dead person? She is right, fate is something for the living to decide, but no matter what sorts of delusions she might have in her head, she will never change my fate. Soon it will all be over and I will be in charge of my organisation again and a short while after that I will be dead.

What if Canaan decides that she wants to 'rescue' me once more...? She doesn't seem to accept my fate yet, even after all I did to her over the cause of the years. Well, to be honest I did a lot of the things I did for her sake as well, killing Siam was not just for my revenge, I didn't want her to go through the same things as me. He only saw us as tools to achieve his dream of a perfect soldier, I was never his daughter, nor was she.

"Are you so sure about that?" There he is, taunting me again out of a shaded corner of the apartment. Even after all this time has passed I hate him as much as I hated him back then... He is just another one of them, teaching me the ways of killing other humans without any attachment whatsoever. I don't feel anything for anyone thanks to the likes of him, it's all the fault of such humans! ...No, I mustn't let my hatred get the better of me, he is just an illusion I fabricate on my own.

"Yes, I am. You are the reason for my suffering, you have taught me to be what I am. You never cared for what she wanted, always trying to raise us... no, to raise _her_ to be the perfect soldier, a superhuman being, as you called it." I was just another obstacle for Canaan to overcome on her way to become such a thing, at least after I killed him... it certainly has a great irony, I tried to protect Canaan from my fate in the beginning, but that caused her to become what he wanted her to be...

"I have to thank you for helping her on her way, I don't think she would have gotten even close to where she is now if you hadn't killed me. Thank you for taking care of her in my stead." He is really pissing me off! I am really pissing myself off... he always agitates me, even if he is nothing but a fabrication conjured forth by my own memory and thoughts, the reason Canaan became what she is instead of a normal and happy girl is me...

"This time I will end it, I will get rid of you for good. If I die so shall you. After all you are nothing but my own delusion. I know very well that it is my fault and I will make it up to her, somehow. She will have a happy life after I am gone, you have no power over her anymore. I am the only thing remaining to tie her to her past and once I am gone there will be nothing keeping her from being happy."

"... I wonder. Would it make her happy if you died? Don't you remember what she was like when you appeared to die after falling from that train?" I remember it all too well... She was in a catatonic state... damn, why? She should have laughed with glee as I fell to what both of us thought ought to be my death, yet she abandoned her friends and searched for me... Why...?

"... Even if it won't make her happy, it will be the best for her. Once I am gone she will have no reason to stay in the past, she can wear that vivid smile of hers and move on after this is over, away from this desolate past where only you and I remain..." That is my wish... isn't it? If I get her to do just that I will win against the ghost of Siam and break free, the bonds of life will release me and I can rest, finally...

"You thought the same thing when you killed me on that train, didn't you? If you would just kill me and leave Canaan alive you could advance on your self-destructive path while Canaan would find happiness somehow. I don't think I'll have to remind you of how that went down, do I?" I thought I would be finally free of Siam and my previous life, I could just search my own end along the way and be done with it...

"This time I will defeat you, I will see this through to the conclusion and I will make sure that Canaan will stop trying to keep me alive!" Seriously, am I asking for that much? All I want is an end to all of this, no more corrupt governments I have to fight against, no more single-minded idealists... I am tired of fighting against the whole world on my own, I just want this to end...

"That remains to be seen, doesn't it?" He disappeared, just as he always did. Attacking him would be pointless, he is just an illusion of mine, I learned that a long time ago. Yet he is the only human being I feel any sort of emotion towards, honest and absolute hatred. Except for Canaan, though I don't know how I feel about her...

This building will collapse on its own very soon or someone will demolish it, right? We certainly have a lot in common, this crumbling old building and I, both of us yearning for brighter days, yet only our destruction lies ahead of us. Well, I should stop making such strange comparisons, otherwise I just might really go insane. No, I am already insane, but I have just enough sanity left to pull my act together, don't I...?

The sun has pasesd the horizon a long time ago, the red light was slowly being drowned out by the inevitable nightfall... Now it is the darkest, just before dawn, there is almost no light at all, just some artificial light coming from the city I'm in. I almost don't want this night to end, I want to stay here, far away from Canaan in a cold and abandoned place, I can't harm her here. But I have to meet her again, to end this...

I wonder what Canaan might be seeing or thinking about right now, in her nice and comfortable apartment in Shanghai, 9141 kilometres away from here... My own endless night isn't too far away now, is it? I wonder if Canaan will appear for me in that dream at the end of my way as a glimmer of light one last time, but a sleep without any dreams might be even better, just forgetting everything...

...

**Canaan's POV**, the next morning

...

*Yawn* How late is it? 4 am. I have to get ready. I'm still rather tired, I was thinking a lot before falling asleep, but I still want to take a shower before Natsume picks me up. This might be my last chance to save Alphard, if I can't convince her this time I probably never will. Maria would also want this, even after all this time I can feel her kindness right here by my side. This time I will definitely save Alphard from herself, I will make her stop doing those stupid things.

Though I still don't know how I should go about that... Alphard always enforced her own will, no matter what, and convincing her is just about impossible. She does listen to what others say, but her line of thoughts only makes sense to her, if I want to convince her I can do nothing but relying on pure luck, her decisions often appear to be completely random, though I don't think it really is random, I just don't understand the underlying logic...

Hm, I always was rather lucky, I guess. That I managed to 'befriend' the one member of the Snakes who would be willing to tell me where I could meet Alphard must already be luck in its purest form... I really don't want to push my luck, but I don't seem to have much of a choice in that matter. Well, for now I should just focus on the tasks at hand, taking a shower and getting ready for my journey.

It takes about 15 hours with a normal airplane to fly from Shanghai to Paris, though there would probably be a stop along the way. I don't know what Natsume has in mind, but she probably will take a faster way, I can't imagine her wanting to spend that much time on an airplane. Then again we may not even use an airport in France, at least not one close to our goal, so it will be a rather long trip either way.

I walk into the small bathroom of my apartment, unhook my bra, take off my panties and put away my hair band. A nice and warm shower in the morning, there could be no better way to start the day. I close the curtains after stepping into the shower and turn on the water, letting the warm liquid purify my body, though it also feels like washing away all of the bad memories. If only it was that easy, I'd just have to get Alphard under the shower and everything would be fine...

Well, that wouldn't be so bad, would it? Uh, what am I even thinking? As if Alphard, of all people, would ever let me take her to the shower, she was always a rather secluded person, even when we used to be like sisters she rarely ever touched me, except for our sparring matches, though she used to pat my head sometimes when I was younger... I wonder why she actually joined the Snakes to begin with, I just noticed that she was drifting further away from us with each passing day...

She never really told me anything about her own motivations, did she? I wonder what is driving her to commit acts of terrorism in the first place, she doesn't seem to really enjoy it. Well, she does seem to enjoy the challenge or playing everyone for fools, but that also had a hollow feeling to it, her laughter... Kodoku said she might have some sort of ideals she is fighting for, but she never made any demands or talked about morals...

Maybe she actually thinks she is doing something good by doing what she does... did? She never seemed to do anything just for the sake of doing it, almost all of her actions had some sort of underlying reason and turned the tide for her whenever she seemed to be in trouble. I had somewhat hoped that she would give up on the whole terrorism thing in this year, but she is attending a meeting of the Snakes now, so...

Well, I can't just stand under the shower all day long and think about Alphard, I don't really want to be here when Natsume comes to pick me up. Where is my shampoo again? I reach behind myself and feel around for a bottle full of it. Got it. As I open it a delicate smell of lemons and some other things reaches my nose, though lemon is the most prominent one. I really like this one a lot,...

I take some of the shampoo into my left hand and put the rest back to where it was. I wonder if Alphard would like it? It would be nice if I could just talk to her about some trivial things like this someday, without any terrorism or governments involved... But the government won't let Alphard withdraw quietly from the stage and Alphard probably won't want that either, so what are my options...?

I could try to talk with Natsume, but she seems to be determined to kill Alphard, no matter what. Besides, I never really got along with her... I don't have any political influence, it was never made public that Natsume and I stopped that bomb from blasting the conference hall to dust, it was attributed to some sort of error... Only Alphard would have the necessary influence to bring about her own absolution, but she wouldn't want that...

Are there any other options I haven't thought about so far? Maybe I could... join her? That... it would be possible, if Alphard would let me, but I don't think she would and I really have no desire whatsoever to work together with the Snakes. And if that was the only way I could see her and maybe influence her? No, that would be far too dangerous, I was never good and convincing others with just my words and Alphard's abilities at that are beyond belief...

*Sigh* I'm not getting anywhere, I'm just running on and on in circles. That's all I can do until I finally get to meet her in person if she even does appear at that meeting. Well, I have no reason to doubt that, Kodoku was always a reliable source of information and Natsume is coming with me, she wouldn't do that unless she was sure that the information is true. It almost feels like a dream, the chance to see her after all that time...

...

Ah, that was just perfect, I feel much calmer now. I'm still pretty nervous about meeting Alphard again, but I feel very relieved as well, the uncertainty was much more depressing and unnerving than the certain confrontation. No matter what, I'm sure that it will all end this time, there is no way I will just let her walk off without settling this matter. And if I have to defeat her in order to talk with her that's what I'll do.

I jump out of the shower, feeling completely recuperated and ready for whatever the future might have in store for me. In two days what felt like an eternity will finally come to an end and we will be free again, hopefully... I should put some clothes on... I will wear the same things as I did back then, for the memories. Well, the exact sleeveless red shirt and the khaki pants I used to wear back then are pretty worn out and too small, so I got myself new ones.

So, here I am, prepared for whatever may come now. Alphard will surely recognise me at first glance, but I wonder if she also looks the same as back then. Well, minus her left arm... I still don't get it, she could have just accepted my help and tried to kill me as soon as she got back up, she could have looked for an opportunity to escape as soon as the train had passed the bridge, she was by no means without other options, so why...?

*Ring* Well, I guess these thoughts will have to wait for now, Natsume is probably at the door to get me. I am overjoyed, many hours on a plane with Natsume and probably a lot more time I will have to spend with, what more could I ask for? *Sigh* I would really much rather do this on my own, but there is no way in hell Natsume would let me. I pick up my luggage and open the door for her...

"I hope you are ready, we will leave now. If there is anything you still need get it right now, we won't return until Alphard Alshua is dead and buried or just dead." What does she think I am, a small child? And so much for talking to her about Alphard... No chance at all. So I have to rely on Alphard to make some sort of move, she will have to do something about her situation on her own and I will make her do that, one way or the other.

"Good morning to you as well..." She looks at me with an icy glare and gets into a black car parking in front of my apartment. Well, so much for being inconspicuous... I get in next to her on the back-seat and lean back, now all I have to do is wait and wait and wait some more...

...

Author's note: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter of our new story, it will probably get really long. There are quite things we aren't too sure about, like having Alphard have her forearm back on after losing it, but I hope it isn't too much of a bother. If it is we will edit the story and make it so she never lost it in the first place. If you don't like the characters as we portray them we can't help you, just stop reading if you don't enjoy it.

We would appreciate reviews, especially constructive ones. If we make mistakes while writing, grammar or spelling or whatever, feel free to point them out, English isn't our native language. If you think the characters are too out of character you can certainly point that out as well, though I don't guarantee that we'd change anything related to that. If you'd like to just talk about our story you can also write a PM, feel free to contact us.


	2. Slow Poison

**Canaan's POV**, ?

...

Where... am I? I was going to meet Alphard... Did I already meet her? Is the meeting already over or is it yet to happen? I don't even know... As I open my eyes I see very little, only a vast and desolate place. Everything looks so grey, the sky, the sand on the ground... Corpses and abandoned military equipment... this is a battlefield? Or is the war already over? What would I be doing here, of all places?

"Canaan..." There she is, Alphard. Finally... After all this time I finally caught her... She is slowly approaching me on unsteady feet, she appears to be in quite a bad shape. She looks the same as I remember her, though the lower half of her left arm is missing. Well, of course it is... Her coat is shredded and worn, just as her black pants, one of her suspenders is torn as well and her face doesn't betray a single one of her thoughts, as always...

"Alphard... I finally caught you." What was I going to tell her again? I'm sure that I thought of some things, but I can't remember it at all... Something about saving her, something about pardoning her... I was going to make everything alright somehow, but here I am, I can't even think of a single sentence to say... There is so much I want to ask her, so much I want to tell her, but none of it is coming out of my mouth...

"It's been a while, hasn't it? So, what are you here for?" She is flashing me one of her usual sarcastic grins, talking to me casually as if she was just out shopping and came back home. Home...? I want to take her home with me, I want to give her a home... I feel as if I'd have a hangover... she is coming closer and I start walking towards her as well. She looks somewhat paler than how I remember her...

"I'm here for you. You will come back with me, whether you like it or don't!" That's right! I will take her home with me and we will have a normal life, I'm sure Alphard can adapt to such a lifestyle, just going shopping or hanging out with friends. Maybe everything can be the way it was before she killed Siam again, at least between the two of us. That won't bring Siam back, but it will make sure that I don't lose her as well...

"Is that so? I have no such plans and I have absolutely no intention of coming with you or even leaving this place at all. This is our home, remember?" That's right, this place is just how our home used to be back then, all the death and destruction... but it doesn't have to be our home anymore, we could just go to Japan or anywhere else and live happily with Maria, Mino and Yun Yun, we aren't bound to this place anymore...

"What are you talking about? There is nothing here for either of us. Just come with me, let's forget all about this place and what was before, let's find a new home..." Now we are standing face to face, even though I have grown a little bit in this last year she is still towering above me, she is still intimidating me... Though I'm not sure if it really is about size, she was always far above me and a few steps ahead of me, except for the last meeting we had on the train...

"You should have gone and searched your own home after I was gone, you could have just left me alone and found your own happiness. Yet here we are again. Is this what you want to do, chasing after my ghost the way I was running from Siam's for the rest of your own miserable life?" There seems to be a little bit of pain in her voice, just the smallest trace... Is she really thinking what she's saying or just acting?

"I have a home I can return to, but I won't return to that place without you, got it? I will take you there, even by force if I have to! I'm not chasing any ghosts, you are alive and well, just standing right in front of me." She really is good at concealing her own thoughts and emotions, I can't interpret her facial expression at all and her body is straight as always, all I have learned about human behaviour proves useless against her...

"Weren't you the one saying I was already dead? I would love to see you try. If I didn't slip on the train that time I would have defeated you and I most certainly wouldn't have shown you any mercy." I would almost believe it, but it didn't feel as if she was really trying to kill me at that time... She was just trying to provoke me so that I would use all of my strength against her. I can't bear it any longer, I just throw my arms around her and bury my face in her chest...

"Stop it, you idiot! I know you better than that... I didn't see any hostility coming from you at that time, I saw just how damn lonely you were all that time!" I hug her even tighter, pressing myself completely against her warm and strong body. There are bruises all over her, but she still looks as beautiful as she always did... I want to take her home with me, now even more than ever before...

"*Sigh* What am I going to do with you? Seriously, no matter how many times I kick you, you will just come back for more, won't you? Well, that's the stubborn and stupid little sister I know..." She is responding to me!? She even puts her arms around me... her upper left arm is pressing against my back while she is stroking my hair with her right hand, slightly rumbling it... And she called me her little sister... I could just melt into this feeling...

"Alphard... I won't ever let you go again! Even if I have to stand here with you for the rest of our lives!" I can feel some tears building up in my eyes, but it isn't because I'm sad... I'm so happy right now! Everything will be fine now, won't it? We will return home and be happy with everyone, though Alphard will probably need some time adjusting to her new environment and getting used to social interactions, just like me...

"That won't be possible... it's already far too late for any of that, Canaan... I'm a terrorist, the whole world is looking for me to put me down. And if you stay with me the same will happen to you. I don't want that for you..." I almost forgot about all that in my bliss... it's been so long since Alphard called me Canaan instead of despair, let alone her little sister... If I can just get her to listen to me a little bit more...

"Alphard, that's not true. Well, it is, but you always have a plan up your sleeves or make one up within seconds, don't you? You could break free from this place, from Siam and even from all the governments in the world if you'd just want to, couldn't you?" Alphard was always like this, she always had at least one plan to get whatever she wanted, if only she'd want... Now she is just letting her hand moving down my back, resting on my hip...

"If you had said that a year ago... No, even then it wouldn't have mattered. There was never any chance for me to be something other than what I am now, Siam made that decision for me a long time ago." That's... Siam just did the best thing for us he could think of, he always protected us. "Think what you want to, I have made my decision a long time ago. I won't go anywhere other than where I am now, ever."

"Please, Alphard, just retu-" Suddenly Alphard makes a move, she took my gun right out of the holster at my hip! I try to move, but the gun in her hand is already pressed against the back of my head... "Alphard... Stop it already. I know that you don't want this anymore, I saw your true colours on that train... You were so lonely... If you'd just come with me I could help you, we could work something out with the governments..."

"You don't seem to understand me, do you? I told you, time and again, that I won't leave this place. I was glad that you were able to escape from here, a part of me at least, but if you just return here..." She is looking at me and for the first time since I met her I activate my synesthesia... Her colour...! It isn't the white of loneliness I saw in her before, it's pitch black... despair... "You don't leave me any other choice, do you...? My days have turned to night, the darkness has consumed the light, a long time ago..."

She takes the gun away from my head for a moment and I am about to breathe out a sigh of relief, but now she is pointing the gun against her own head! "Alphard! What the hell are you doing!? **STOP IT!**" I take my arms away from her back and try to get the gun out of her hand, but she lifts her knee with much force and hits me directly in the pit of my stomach. And as I am stumbling backwards...

"This will be for the best. For both of us. Good night, Canaan..."

***BANG***

...

"**ALPHAAAARD!**" Just in the moment when Alphard pulled the trigger the whole scene changed suddenly, I'm not longer on a battlefield or something like that, I'm sitting... in one of the seats of a small plane? That's right... Natsume and I are the only ones on the plane, except for the pilot, it is a private jet of Natsume's employers or something, I guess. We will get down at an airport in the Swiss and take a car or something like that from there.

"Canaan...?" Natsume is sitting next to me, looking up from her laptop, staring at me confused and slightly annoyed. It was just a dream...I can feel sweat all over me and tears in my eyes, I must look horrible right now... But I'm really relieved... what kind of a dream was that anyways? Alphard wouldn't do something like that, right? I couldn't bear it if she did something like that just after I got so close to breaking through to her...

"It's... nothing. I'm just very anxious about meeting Alphard again after all that time, I guess." I quickly wipe away the sweat and tears, why did that have to happen in front of Natsume, of all people? Well, not that it really matters, I just feel rather embarrassed now. Though this whole dream makes me think about what might happen even more, maybe there was some sort of hidden message in it. Or not so hidden...

"Are you certain of that? If you are to become an impediment of this operation we should remove you before it even begins." There she goes again with her efficiency and objectivity. I don't think much would change if they would just let a computer handle her part, at least I wouldn't dislike a computer. Well, I won't have to put up with her much longer, so I'll just have to bear with it for now...

"I'm sure, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Besides, you have no-one else who could take on Alphard and the entire leadership of Snake, do you?" Alphard probably isn't as good as she used to be, loosing an arm probably effects a lot of things, but Alphard used to be the strongest person I ever knew, so she is probably still very dangerous... And I didn't slack off during all that time, though I didn't make any significant progress either...

"I do have faith in your abilities, but you mental condition is starting to worry me, you are displaying symptoms of an unhealthy obsession with your target and I don't want anything to jeopardise this mission. I will personally accompany you this time and make sure that you do kill Alphard, otherwise I will do it myself." I don't think Alphard would just let Natsume do that... but I can't let her try to kill Alphard either when we meet...

"Just do what you want to, I'm sure that Alphard would just politely wait for you to pull the trigger." If Natsume could have killed Alphard on her own she would've done so years ago, Alphard was always getting in her way and Natsume wants anything in her way gone as soon as possible. She might be good with a gun, I've never seen her use one, but I'm more than sure that Alphard and I are better.

"Isn't copying Alphard's haircut enough for you? Now you are adapting to her behaviour as well... If this goes on I will have a perfect clone of her if we have to wait for another year." I'm not adapting to her behaviour or her looks at all! A ponytail is just much more practical, the hairs don't get in my face while I fight or at some other time. That always annoyed me about my old hairstyle... And Natsume usually makes me act more sarcastic by default...

"Whatever. Give me that laptop for a second, I want to check out my e-mails." Maybe Kodoku wrote me another e-mail, though the last one sounded like a definite farewell. I could really need some distractions to calm me down right now and I would never talk to Natsume about feeling any sympathy for Alphard, otherwise she'd probably throw me out of the plane while still in mid-air...

"My employers have provided you with a laptop you may use for the duration of this mission, it is in a case under your seat. Didn't you pay any attention while I was explaining the details?" Well, I spend half the night thinking about Alphard instead of sleeping, so I had to catch up on it a little bit and listening to Natsume's lengthy explanations didn't really help that much either...

I mumble something about sleeping and she just sighs, turning her attention back to her own laptop. I guess she's had enough of me, just as I had enough of her. Under my seat, huh? I reach under it and there is a handle for something. I give it a small pull and indeed there is a small case with a laptop and some money in it, I guess these are my resources for this mission.

I start it right up and there is no password yet, so I can probably give it my own. On the other hand Natsume probably monitors what I do with it, I would think that she is more than capable of doing so. Not that it matters, I have no plans of discussing my dream or my feelings towards Alphard with Kodoku at the moment, I just want to see if there is anything for me at all. One new e-mail...

"Well, I have sent the specifics about your target to Natsume, but I will send them to you as well, just in case. We will meet in a hotel in Reims, but that information probably isn't relevant to you, Natsume will bring you there. It will supposedly be a masked ball, so I hope you can dance... Alphard may or may not participate, I myself don't know. She will make an appearance at the end of the ball, at least that was mentioned."

Hm, a masked ball...? That doesn't really sound like Alphard, but I guess it would fit her somewhat at the same time, she was always good at pretending... I can't dance at all... I guess this won't be as easy as I thought it would be, Natsume won't let me attack them unless Alphard is there, she wouldn't want to alarm Alphard before she is certain of her presence. The ensuing chaos of an attack would be the perfect chance for her to flee...

"The hall will have no decorations and everything will be under heavy guard by Snake soldiers, so hiding there is out of the question. You could probably take care of them, but the whole meeting will get cancelled if their headquarter lost contact with even one of the squads, so you will have to blend in with the other leaders. There are supposedly 32 persons in total, whether Alphard is one of them is uncertain."

Great, that sounds like real fun... blending in with the Snakes... I just want to get rid of them and meet Alphard, but Natsume won't take any risks as long as we don't even know if Alphard will come at all. That will be a lot more effort than my usual operations, so I'd better get some extra payments after all of this is over. Now that I think about it, if I get Alphard to cooperate with me I probably won't get any payment at all...

"I have sent you the profiles of four of the leaders, they will be staying in town and you will assume the roles of two of them. I picked them for you because they aren't very important, so you shouldn't have to engage too much in the discussions about the politics of Snake. In the attachment you will find detailed descriptions of them, the ones you choose will be your first targets. You should read through all of that, you have to be 'in character' until Alphard shows up."

Just wonderful... I was never a very good actor and now he expects me to assume the role of one of the leaders of Snake? I don't see Natsume having any trouble playing that part, but I... *Sigh* Well, it won't be for long, I guess. So I should read through the scripts and learn as much as I can about one of them. Well, Natsume will probably make the choice for me and I don't exactly envy her for that.

"I didn't tell you why we think Alphard will show up, I forgot about telling you, I already told Natsume. All of us leaders have received a video message from her and we already checked it, it appears to be the real thing, not some sort of forgery. I will send you a link at the end of the e-mail as well. You will need a password, I wrote it down for you as well. Hm, this will be a masked ball, so would you mind if I ask for your hand for the dance?"

Joking as always, huh? I don't know how to dance at all... Well, he would probably be a lot more understanding than the other ones, especially if we know who the other one is. Well, I can't say that I really know him, but I think he is a good person, based on our little chats so far. He was very helpful and it wouldn't make any sense for him to treat me any different now, he had many other chances to try to kill me, had he wanted to.

"Well, I would like a dance with you, but if you don't want to I can understand that. Though you should know that the dancing part is mandatory, you will have to dance, no matter how good or bad you are. Orders from above the top. Well, I guess we will meet soon, won't we? I'm a little bit excited about that, considering the circumstances, but I look forward to it all the same. See you."

A mandatory dance? Who makes up such nonsense!? *Sigh* Well, I am very flexible and I've learned a lot about martial arts, Siam even had me and Alphard dance together from time to time, though it was more of a joke for him, I guess... I don't really look forward to that part of the whole operation, but I'll have to do what I have to do, won't I? My only alternatives would be Natsume or some stranger who is a leader of Snake...

"Hm, I don't know anything about dancing or acting, but I guess I'll have to do it if I want to meet Alphard. Well, I guess I can dance with you, but only if you promise to be lenient, this is the first time I dance ever since I was a child. I would really prefer it to just get in there and blast away all of the other leaders, but there is no helping it, I guess. I just hope that your information is as accurate as always... See you."

What's next? The link to the video he sent me, I guess. Let's see, password... those are words from my native tongue, it means something like treacherous play when translated, that fits the Snakes just fine. Now the video is loading... after several seconds it starts playing, it displays a small part of a room, but there is little one can see in it. Only a table in the centre of the room, and sitting at the table...

"I wish to thank you for taking care of my organisation while I was gone, I would like to personally reward the leaders who watched over our projects during my absence. Do not confuse this video with an invitation, this is a direct order. Should you decide to ignore my orders this will be your death sentence. The only excuse you could have for not showing up would be your own death."

After that sentence she makes a rather long and grave pause, as if to let that new information sink in with her subordinates. It really is Alphard, I don't need my synesthesia or any tests to know that. I can only see her upper body, what remains of her left arm is probably below the table while she supports her chin with her right hand, looking as apathetic as always, but that doesn't make her threat less real.

"You will receive a letter within the next days, if you lose the invitation you will not be permitted to enter and that effectively means that you lose your life. All further information will be revealed to you in said letters which will be signed with my name, making them official documents of Snake and proving my claim of being Alphard Alshua. Test my claims if my words are not enough for you."

Hm, that seems to be it. Not very much information, but Natsume probably tested the video already, so I guess it's the real deal. Kodoku probably has his own letter attached to the e-mail, so there will be the information about the location and other relevant things. I guess I can just turn off the laptop now, I could still use a little bit of sleep... I reach out for the switch and just as I am about to press it...

"I look forward to seeing you, despair..." Was I imagining this just now...? I don't think Natsume knows that Alphard used to call me that, so she wouldn't notice this as being related to me, but it is like a personal invitation for me. So she knows that I will come after her... So much for the ambush, even now she is a step ahead of me... but the leaders of Snake seem to be unaware of this, if Kodoku is to be trusted...

"Do you know anything about that last sentence? My investigations didn't reveal any significance to that statement, but maybe you would know something? You know her better than anyone else." Alphard seems to have her plan set into motion already and I was a part of it before I was even aware of the existence of any plans. But her plan seems to bring us together this time, so I will just trust her and follow it for now...

"No idea. Maybe she has finally gone crazy?" That should make Natsume feel better, the idea of Alphard going insane... Alphard always was a little bit insane, in my opinion, but it never got in her way... Now I finally turn off the laptop, I will read through the documents some other time... I just want to sleep for a while now...

...

**Alphard's POV**, run-down apartment

...

Everything is proceeding as planned. Canaan and Natsume Yuri will walk right in and take care of all my problems for me, it could be part of a comedy. I am fairly certain that most of the so-called leaders of my precious little organisation will appear, they still fear me more than anything else... But they have to be replaced, they have outlived their usefulness a long time ago and almost all of them are already having plots to remove me again...

I wonder how many plans to assassinate me are already in motion, probably at least one for each of the leaders. Well, I will have to disappoint them, I won't reveal my appearance until they are all dead. And once that has happened I will take care of Canaan, I am rather sure that she got my invitations for her, there were more than enough for even her to notice. I wonder if Natsume will even make it through the little scene I have staged for them...

'Bellum omnium contra omnes', was it? Well, with the slight addition of 'atque omnes pro me'. 'The war of all against all and all that for me.' That should be a fairly amusing sight for me, though I will be there for the whole time, lying in wait... Canaan will survive, of that I am more than sure, I know it for certain. She would never get this far and just die on the last few meters of her way, that wouldn't be like her.

I won't even have to kill a single one of them on my own, I will just release some information about how the leaders have betrayed one another, that should give them enough reason to start shooting. I will have to push them a little bit, but I've been collecting data about their operations for almost a year and found more than enough. Once the first shot is fired there will be no turning back and all of them will be at each other's throats...

Had they done what I as their leader asked them to do they could live on, but they have displayed their intentions so well that Canaan's synesthesia couldn't reveal anything to me about them which I didn't know already. *Sigh* Canaan, hm? She had the chance to leave me and our past behind, I did my best to give her that opportunity. I played my act so that she would hate me, yet she tried to save me...

Her actions were almost as unreasonable as those of Liang Qi. If I hadn't taken that vaccine from her she would have died back then, or worse. Well, I am glad that I did what I did, otherwise I wouldn't have anyone within Snake whom I can trust. I don't trust Liang Qi as a person, but her actions are predictable and I know exactly how I have to pull the strings to make her move in the direction I want her to.

Cummings is still with her, I just don't get them at all... 'Love' is what he called it, just as she called her obsession with me 'love', but neither of them had a reasonable explanation for their actions. Cummings almost got himself killed and was happy while doing so for her, she almost got herself killed when I taught her a little lesson about disobeying my orders... Aren't humans supposed to be scared of death?

And then we have Canaan... no matter how many times I beat her up or put her friends in danger, she always came back to avenge Siam. Siam, of all people... the same Siam that started my hatred for the world and everything in it, the same Siam that was going to raise her the same way... I wouldn't allow that, I wanted to give her a chance for a different life. Had she just forgotten about avenging Siam and finding me...

"You were a great mentor in my place. Though I wonder why you are calling her 'Canaan' now. Didn't you tell her that her name was despair?" Here he is again, looking at me slightly amused. He won't ever let me rest, fate just won't ever let me escape from this cursed forearm and him, will it? Well, Siam destroyed my life long before I killed him, so there isn't anything I have to lose or anything I have to treasure.

"It was her own choice, she had more than enough chances to escape the fate you have forged for me. It doesn't matter what I tried, she just wouldn't hate me as I had hoped, and thus you lose this game of ours, don't you?" He wanted to raise her to become like me, a killing machine and a relict of war that has no reason or purpose to exist but to fight. And if there aren't any wars to fight in we just have to create new ones to give our lives a reason.

"You are wrong, I have won in the end. Canaan was my light and she has found a way of light in all the darkness we brought upon her life, she is stronger than ever before. It was foolish of me to raise the both of you the way I did, but in the end you performed a task I wasn't able to. I have you to thank for that." He really makes me angry... The Canaan that is today is not something we created, she shaped herself with the help of her friends...

"So I was just an expedient for you? Canaan must have been very naive, even back then, if she ever thought of you as anything close to a fatherly figure, something else both of us never had. We just had you and you were going to sacrifice us on an altar for your own hatred." Her calling him a father... or calling me her sister. She must have been walking through her life with a blindfold until I killed Siam.

"That... is probably true, I was never a father for either of you. But I did love you, I did what I thought would be best for you... I am sorry, it was a mistake." Now he dares to look at me with sad eyes, as if asking me to forgive him for the things he did!? I may never be free, but at least I can take some comfort in the knowledge that he is bound to me for the rest of my life as well, living on as a ghost of the past, never allowed to rest.

"You will never find your peace with what you've done, Siam, just as I will never find peace the way you made me. But it probably won't be long now, I don't want to stay in this world for too much longer, this will hopefully be my last great performance." I am so tired of it all... politics, money, all those other petty things humans cling to... I just want to escape it all and finally rest, no more pain, no hatred, just a void where I can forget about all that...

"I failed to show you the beauty of this world when I was still alive, all I was thinking about until my last seconds finally arrived was how to raise you to be the perfect machines for war. But there always was beauty in this world, even in the middle of a hopeless battlefield one can find a beacon of love and hope, isn't that right, Alphard?" What is he even getting at? My world, the world he created for me, is devoid of such emotions...

"There is no beauty in this world, just ugliness hiding behind a beautiful mask. Aren't I the best proof for that claim?" Others consider my appearance beautiful, though I can't take any pleasure in 'looking good' and things like that, it is just superficial and petty, as all humans are. I guess that I should expect that, after all I am just an average terrorist, so why should anyone bother to think about what might be going on in my head?

"Is that how I taught you to see the world? I don't quite believe that, after all I can see what is in your head, I am just a fabrication of your memories and thoughts, that's what you always told me since that day. And I must say that I see my own light in your very thoughts quite often, in those thoughts not tainted by me." *Sigh* I talked to him yet again, it would probably be a better idea to just ignore him completely. If only I could do that...

"You didn't bring a single glimpse of light into my world, I would've been better off if I had never seen it and just died on the battlefield before we even met." Sometimes I really wish that was what had happened, if I had just died on some battlefield without a name, without even a grave, just lying there, being forgotten by everyone except for the wild dogs thanking me for the feast... wouldn't that have been better in the long run?

"That's not true, and you know it. Canaan is your light as well, whether you want to admit it or don't. You don't want to die, I remember how happy you felt when she held onto your arm, trying to pull you up. Even back then you took a shine to her, when we were all together, didn't you? You were her older sister and pretty proud of that, if your memories don't betray me, do you remember how you used to dance with her?"

"I guess..." I'm not sure if I could call her stumbling over her own two feet a dance, but it was close enough, wasn't it? Well, there are some nice memories, but they aren't enough to outweigh the bad ones, are they? For every nice memory with Canaan I remember at least three scenes where I was hurt, by you, by society, by everything... How could I cherish something good in such a world? It will just be taken from me again...

"Well, you won't know unless you try, will you? Why don't you take a chance for her, just this once? It won't hurt you, will it? You could just give it one last chance and rest after that, if it fails. Is that so much to ask for? All you have to do is take her hand, she already reached out for you once." He doesn't understand anything at all... If I don't lead Snake someone else will come and do it, someone even worse.

"I have to play my part until the end of this play, just as you have played your own role until I wrote you off the script. Now it doesn't even matter anymore, I will continue my path, down and down, until I sink to the bottom and will rest there..." That's all I can ask for. If I live on I will just assume my old role and fight against the world and the corruption while being corrupted to the very core of my own soul, if there even is such a thing...

"You are right about that part, except for you none could tame the Snakes and have them fight for a cause which is even remotely good, without your leadership they will just sink deeper and deeper, even below you. But does that mean you have to reject any form of kindness from anyone? You should tell me, I was never as good at developing complex plans as you were and Canaan probably feels the same."

"Why would I want to live on if there is nothing worth doing for me? The world and Canaan would be better off if I wasn't there, if my body had stayed in the war where my mind still lingers to this very day." If only Canaan could let me go, she would be free to return to her precious friends and her home, she could escape this nightmare. Why is she even still pursuing me, if she isn't going to take revenge?

"She is searching for someone precious to her, her older sister who has gone astray a long time ago, she always did that, since the day you shot me. She was wondering why her beloved sister would do something like that, she was crying out, praying for you to turn back and stop doing what you did. She did hate you at first, but that faded as well as time passed by. Wouldn't she be worth living for?"

"What would you know about her inner thoughts and motivation? You are just my subconscious, searching for an easy way out of this. Did you even stop for a second to think about what it would mean if I went with her? I could deliver myself to 'justice', but that would be the same as shooting myself. I could run away again, with her, but that way she wouldn't pull me out of the abyss, she would be pulled down with me instead."

"So you do care for her, though you won't admit it openly, otherwise you would've never thought about things like what the consequences for her would be. But you aren't the Alphard I knew at all, the Alphard I know would think of some great scheme to get her way, no matter how low the odds of winning are. You could free yourself if you would let yourself." He might be right about that, but would that end him or would it just increase my torture? This discussion is over, there is nothing more to say.

*Sigh* Time to get up. It is slightly uncomfortable in this old building, very cold and the floor is hard. Well, that's hardly a reason to complain, I have slept in worse places and for now I want to stay concealed, so I will have to bear with it for the time being. Besides, it's a good way to train immune system, a soft bed and a warm home would make me weak. A shower wouldn't be bad, but I will wait with that until I will attend my own little masked ball.

What should I do today? I have some free time, so I might just go out for a little while. Well, I will disguise myself, that way no one should recognise me, even if I were to meet them. Cummings can take care of business for me right now, though I will have to check his report later on. Liang Qi will probably jump right at me, it has been more than a month since I met her. She is still obsessed with me...

That is rather beneficial for me, so I won't complain. Though I wish she could just stop that, I think it's gotten worse since I took the vaccine from her hands and crushed the sample under my boots. That research will be continued by Natsume either way, my plan will work on even if I'm not there to execute it. They will bring about their own fall with this research, foolish as they are. Well, that is hardly something to blame me for, is it?

Quite amusing, now that I think about it. If their results would become something I actually need I could just steal it right back. Other users of snyesthesia could be a bother for some of my future operations, if there are any, but there are ways to trick that ability, so if they do complete this research I will just have to give my soldiers training to manipulate their own emotions or to suppress them, that way synesthesia is useless.

If they would reproduce the mutations in Canaan, the Ua virus can cause many different symptoms and reacts different to different hosts. it would be much more complicated if they could control the effects of the virus and use it to their advantage, but I have all of it under control, I can end all of their research in that department with a single one of my orders. One order and their laboratories will be dust.

Well, I can worry about that if the time ever comes, one of their best researchers is part of Snake. He will send me a report if they can use it, nothing else until then. They won't suspect a thing until then, he is just a very talented doctor with no apparent connection to Snake whatsoever. This data never really left my hand, I just lend it to them, if I ever feel the need to do something about it I will.

Of course I wouldn't be foolish enough to let everything rest on a single person, humans are unreliable at best and those laboratories send all of their results towards a headquarter with better protection, but that place was already hacked and many delightful surprises would wait for them if they tried to use that terminal, many viruses lie dormant in it, just waiting for my orders to activate. I have even more back-up plans, but those two should be sufficient.

I think I will just go for a little stroll. It's pretty cold, but the weather is nice and I still have some hours until I have to meet Cummings.

...

Author's note: Well, we aren't too sure about how we portray the characters, maybe Alphard is a little bit too... melancholic and suicidal? We just felt that she would be exactly like that if she really tried to save Canaan all that time and thought the only solution would be her death. This probably contradicts canon, but whatever... I hope you still like it, there will be brighter days for her later on, of that we're pretty sure.


	3. Undercover

**Canaan's POV**, Reims, sunset

...

This is a pretty big city, though not quite as big as Shanghai. Not really a very important place in politics either, though it has some pretty nice sights, Maria would probably love this place. The cathedral is a really impressive building, even from here, and there are many other interesting things to see, but I'm not here for any of that. I can move around without any trouble, this disguise seems to work so far.

A really simple trick, I just hide my hairs below a hat and wear sun glasses, that should be enough, I wasn't really in the focus of any of their recent activities. Of course I'm not wearing my usual closes anymore, I've changed into normal blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a black raincoat, it is rather cold... I look just like an average tourist, though my skin colour is a little bit darker than what is usual around here. Just a camera and the image would be perfect.

Two days until the meeting begins, so I still have some time to search the city for some clues about Alphard, I rather would avoid that meeting, if at all possible... I have the bad feeling that Alphard has something planned for Natsume and me. And if I'm not careful I could blow my cover and Alphard could escape in the confusion. But she knows that I'll come either way, so why wouldn't she run now while she still has the chance to?

Maybe she also wants to meet me, though I can't think of any reason why she'd do something like that. Last time she rather shot her own arm off than being rescued by me, so I don't think she has something nice in store for me. I do hope so, I really do, but I can't rely on it. Alphard was always pretty unpredictable to begin with... I guess I just have to wait for her to make a move, I can't do anything until her objectives become a little bit clearer...

"Bonjour, can I get you anything?" As I walk by one of the cafes I hear a familiar voice and as I turn around... Yun Yun!? What is she doing in France, of all places...? She used to travel all through Asia with us, though we didn't really invite her to come with us in the beginning, she always showed up along our way, almost as if she had planned that to happen. Though it really seemed to be by chance, at least sometimes...

"Well, I see that you still have the same hobbies as back then..." Her bra is filled with something again, she really seems to like doing that, but it looks very... out of place, to say the least. I can't quite tell what it is, but I don't think I want to know it either... She really has some strange habits, doesn't she? A slightly older man puts his hand into her cleavage and pulls something out...

He screams something which probably translates to something like "Don't stick our pastry down your chest!" As he pulls them out they already crumble in his fingers, I don't think it's very pleasant to have the crumbs stuck in your clothing for the rest of the day... Well, not that it would be my problem. As she takes a closer look at me I take off my sun glasses for a moment and her eyes grow wide with a realisation...

"Oh, Canaan! What are you doing here? I haven't seen you for one year or something like that! Geez, Maria was really worried about you, you could've at least written her something. But why don't you take a seat, Canaan? I'll invite you!" That would be all nice and good... If she hadn't just shouted out my name loud enough for half the city to hear it! It probably wasn't a very good idea to reveal myself to her...

"Listen, Yun Yun, you really shouldn't go around and shout out my name like that, I'm here to catch Alphard... I'm currently undercover, so please don't go around shouting out my name..." She nods for a second, screws her eyes a little bit and puts one of her fingers to her lips, looking like she's trying to think about something really hard. Suddenly her eyes are growing wide again...

"**ALPHARD!?** That Alphard? I thought you killed her back then and she tried to kill me and Maria before that by putting us into a wagon with a bomb and I was really scared and tried to escape, but I also had to save Maria and-" Argh! I should've never come here, if there was any member of Snake in a proximity of 200 meters or something like that they'd have to be deaf not to hear that!

"Yun Yun! Don't say that either! Actually, please don't say anything about me or Alphard at all, you will just say something stupid to get me in trouble..." This was a really horrible decision... Talking to Yun Yun while being undercover, how could I do something this stupid...? I could just as well use the same clothing I used back then, the same hairstyle and take a gigantic sign with me saying 'Hi, I'm Canaan!' and shout that sentence while running through the streets...

"Oh, sorry about that... So, how has it been going for you?" How has it been going? Well pretty good recently, I'm pretty sure that Alphard is alive and doing well, I will meet her in a couple of days and we will talk about the problems we had... Yeah, who am I kidding? Alphard just talking to me about our problems as if we just were friends and had a little fight and would just make up now...

"Pretty good, I guess. I did what I always did, smoking out some Snakes, gathering information on Alphard and so on. I will actually meet her pretty soon, but please don't tell anyone about that, alright?" Yun Yun looks at me in disbelieve, as if I had just told her something ridiculous enough to make her think it would be ridiculous, and that says very much, Yun Yun isn't the brightest person I know...

"You're going to do what!? You're going to meet a crazy psychopathic terrorist who tried to kill your best friend and ruin your life and you sound happy about it...?" Well, if you put it like that it doesn't sound like such a good plan anymore, but that's not the point. And I don't think I tried to sound very happy about it, or did I? I guess I am somewhat relieved to know that I can meet Alphard again pretty soon...

"Calm down, Yun Yun. It will be fine, I always managed to defeat Alphard one way or another, didn't I? There's no reason to worry about me and I'll make sure that Alphard retires from her position in Snake so that she won't hurt anyone anymore!" Well, I say that, but I have absolutely no idea how I should try to convince Alphard of that. She always beat me in every category and she has everything someone could want and more, so what do I have to offer...?

"Make her retire!? Are you out of your mind!? We're talking about her, for crying out loud! That person who shot Maria in the stomach and threw me and her in a wagon with a bomb!" Well, she did that, but that always seemed strange to me... why would Alphard leave Yun Yun in that wagon and not kill her immediately? Maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see here, but I think Alphard just set that up to provoke me and never had any intention of killing them.

"Well, yeah, that's pretty much my plan. Got a problem with it?" She looks as if she had more than just one problem with that, but I don't really care, I will do it somehow, no matter what anyone tells me. Well, maybe I won't make Alphard retire, I don't know about that, but I will meet her again and take her back with me! Even if I have to carry her all the way to Japan, even if she struggles while I carry her, I will somehow do it!

"Have you gone mad while you were gone or something? I mean, seriously..." She is looking at me suspiciously, comes a little bit closer and puts her hand on my head, as if to check my temperature. I shouldn't come back here... "You seem to be fine, but maybe I should call Maria and tell her-" I can't let her do that, so I quickly cover her mouth. I won't meet Maria again, at least not without Alphard...

"You will tell her nothing of me, understood? I will tell her myself as soon as all of this is over, then I will visit her and take Alphard with me, alright?" All three of us used to be friends, after all... Though that was almost two years ago, I don't think Alphard has forgotten about that either, maybe she really didn't want to kill Maria on that train. But I'll ask her myself soon enough. "Well, you said you'd invite me?"

"Oh, of course! I will get you some croissant or something like that, is that fine with you?" I simply nod my head. Maybe I should ask her how in hell she ended up working in a cafe in France, but maybe I don't even want to know it... I don't think she can even speak French, not that I could, but if she lives here she should at least understand the language, shouldn't she?

She just makes some sorts of gestures towards the middle-aged man who is probably the owner of this shop or something like that...

I just hope that this didn't ruin my operation, otherwise I'd be beyond angry... all of the effort for nothing, one year of training and searching for nothing... Well, it almost seems as if Alphard was inviting me, so I might get another chance, but I rather wouldn't push my luck, especially not for something like this. Whatever was driving me to go and talk to Yun Yun while being undercover?

"Oh, thanks. So, how did you end up working here?" I don't really care, but this should prevent her from causing any further damage, at least she shouldn't talk about Alphard or me for some time. The two croissants look quite tasty, they are covered in chocolate and the tea she brought me also smells rather good, I think it's vanilla. I reach out for the tea and give it a sip, but it's really sweet...

"Well, that's actually quite a long story. You see, Maria and I, we are..." Hm? Maria and her are what?

"What is it? Did you get into an argument or something?" I guess something like that happens to everyone from time to time, Maria and I also had some serious fights back then. Well, I think we are still friends, but I probably hurt her a lot by not coming back for all this time...

"No, it's nothing like that... How do I say that? Maria and I, we are... together." So Maria is also here?

"Could I meet her?" Well, I will, as soon as I get Alphard to come. I try out the croissants now, they are pretty good, they are even filled with some chocolate. The pastry is simply perfect, it almost feels like air on the tongue. Ah, I'm glad I get to eat here, I almost forgot how hungry I was over my search for Alphard. I didn't eat anything since yesterday, I just didn't feel very hungry. Natsume offered me something at the airport in Bern, but I didn't accept it...

"Um, I don't think you understand, I didn't mean to say that we'd be here together, I said we are together... In the sense of... lovers..." Huh? Did Yun Yun just say lovers...? I didn't think this would happen during my absence, but I guess I'm happy for them. "Well, that's how it is. I'm here to get her a really special present! But I kind of forgot the money I'd need to get it, so here I am, working for it... and my ticket back to Japan..."

"Well, I'm glad for you... but you seriously forgot to get the money and now you're working here without even understanding a word? Besides, isn't the culture very different here?" Yun Yun seems to be very out of place in this city, it looks pretty old and the style is just rather European, yet here she is, in almost the same clothes as those she wore back then. She just looks rather out of place here... Maybe I shouldn't get back, that would just attract attention...

"Hm, I didn't think it would be that expensive... But I'll have the money pretty soon! And there might be some differences between here and Shanghai, but there are certain things which please all customers, regardless of nationality!" Well, I guess good services are appreciated by everyone. Though I somehow doubt that she is that great a waitress. But Yun Yun hasn't changed at all, has she...?

"Well, good luck with that." Her story wasn't really long at all, but I'm not really in the mood for a longer story either. So Maria and Yun Yun are lovers now...? I didn't see that coming at all, but I never was very good at estimating the connections of others, I don't know very much about love to begin with. Come to think of it... "Yun Yun, what is love...?"

"Eh? You don't know that!? Come on, I was so sure you and Maria used to be... How should I explain that... Uh, you think of that person most of the time, you want to be with that person... you get a pretty warm feeling and you get giddy with happiness when you think about what this or that might be like with them... You feel pain when you can't be with them..." That... I don't think there is someone I feel about like that. Wait...

"Hm, I always think about Alphard and I really want to meet her again. And I do feel happy when I think about making her retire or sad when I think it won't work... Does that mean I'm in love with Alphard...?" So that's love? Liang Qi was also always talking about her love for Alphard and calling her 'sister'... Alphard always was my sister, long before she even met Liang Qi! But Alphard never really paid her any attention, she was always so apathetic...

"**EEHHHH!?** No way! You can't be serious about that, right? **RIGHT!?** She tried to kill Maria and me! And she tried to kill you more than once! Have you hit your head while working or something like that?" Not really, I'm as sane as I always was. Though Alphard is a terrorist... but maybe I can change that... "Maybe it's something else, like a certain sympathy for her or something like that, you used to know each other, right?"

"I guess you're right, Alphard always was like my older sister before she killed Siam and left with Snake... but does that make a difference? I thought about her for this whole year..." I think I might really do... love Alphard... I never really thought that would be possible, Alphard killed Siam, someone who was like a father for me... I shouldn't feel about her like that, should I? Besides, she's done some pretty horrible things while working with Snake... as their leader...

"Well, love between siblings is something pretty different, but I don't think you would behave like this if that was how it is..." Uh... I love Alphard? And not just as my sister...? This stuff is so confusing... and what should I do about that? I really don't want to end up like Liang Qi or Hakko, love also made them go mad, in a way... "That... I guess we'll still support you...? But really, Alphard, of all people...?"

"I'm not really sure, but I guess so... and what do you mean, 'I guess we'll still support you'!?" Well, it might be a little bit hard for Maria and Yun Yun, it did look as if Alphard was going to kill them... Was that just a trick or did she really try that? Yet another question only she could answer... I really have to meet her in person, otherwise I'll never know anything about that for sure. Maybe I'm completely wrong and delusional, but maybe...

"Well, it's a little bit difficult for us to support you if you're going to admit your love to the most wanted person on this planet, there are bounties on her head you probably couldn't dream of..." I guess so, Alphard is the greatest enemy of pretty much the entire world... but why? There must be a reason why she is doing things like that, right? I don't think she does it for the fun of it or something ridiculous like that...

"*Sigh* I know, Alphard has a lot of enemies. But she managed to stay undercover for one entire year, without getting detected by Natsume or anyone else for that whole time, otherwise it'd have been all over the news, right?" So it isn't too far-fetched to think she could think of some plan to escape the authorities again or maybe even convince them to pardon her, though I'm not even sure if Alphard herself could pull that one off...

"I just hope you know what you're doing... if you are wrong Alphard might even kill you this time, I think she'd be pretty angry after losing her arm..." How did Yun Yun know about that...? Oh, I think Natsume had some sort of report published, it was even in the news. Alphard is officially dead, though I never believed that to be true. That could be quite good for my plans with her...

"Well, occupational hazard... I'll be going now, thank you for the meal." It really was pretty good, though the tea was way too sweet... Well, I shouldn't complain, it was a free meal, after all and I really needed something to eat. I should take more care about such things, I don't want to face Alphard weakened by exhaustion or hunger, that would be pretty damn stupid... Alphard is probably still as strong as she was back then...

"Don't mention it! And you really should take care, Maria trusts you, but she was worried sick about you, you know?" Well, I guess I'd be worried about her as well if she was still involved with stuff as dangerous as Snake... I also want to meet her again, it won't be long now...

"I will, but remember, don't tell Maria about Alphard or me, I want to tell her myself as soon as I get Alphard back, alright?" Yun Yun nods and waves her hand, this time with a small smile. I guess she won't tell Maria... Though I don't know how reliable she is... but she does owe me her life, so she probably will keep quiet. Here I am, all alone in the streets of Reims again... I wasted a lot of time here at the cafe and I didn't find out anything at all...

The sun is already setting, so I wasted the whole day in small vehicles with Natsume or trying to prevent Yun Yun from blowing my cover... And I didn't really find out anything new about Alphard, though I might have found out something new about myself, if that really is love... All those things Yun Yun told me about do apply to me, but if it is, what should I do about it? I couldn't just run up to Alphard and tell her, could I?

*Sigh* Whatever, I guess I'll just take a shower and be done for today, it would be pointless to search Alphard now. I don't even know what colour she might have right now, maybe it changed, though I really hope it won't be black when I finally find her... I mean, why would she be in despair? If it was about Siam that would've been her colour for quite some years now. Would it be... about me...?

...

**Alphard's POV**, close to a certain cafe, sunset

...

Just what... What in the name of... I can't believe this... the hell is Canaan doing there? It was part of my plan that she would arrive here today, but she is sitting in a cafe, eating croissants while talking with that girl, Yun Yun, I think. I am starting to regret that I didn't make it impossible for her to survive, I really am. This is not talking, it is closer to shouting both of our names through the entire city...

What is going on in their heads? Is there even anything going on in there? I highly doubt that... Wait, that is... the police? How can they possibly be this stupid...? Meeting in a cafe and shouting out my name in public, **IN PUBLIC! **The world has all but forgotten about my so-called crimes, I almost feel like smashing my head against the closest wall, but that would hardly help this situation.

"_Do not resist, we will take you to the police station for questioning._" I guess I am very lucky, my disguise is almost perfect. A blonde wig, blue contact lenses, enough makeup to get me into Hollywood and a very short red dress. I look very much like the locals, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Though I have an accent I can speak some French, enough to get Canaan out of this situation, I hope...

"_Pardon!_ We no speak French, you understand? We not from here." Yun Yun... She didn't seriously... Very good, I should applaud her... She managed to say one word before she blurted the rest out in Chinese... If I don't do something about this I could almost be sure that Canaan will end up in jail. The next thing that will most likely happen is violence, knowing Canaan... I have to stop this before it can possibly get any worse, if it could... it could.

"_Excuse me, what seems to be the problem, Monsieur?_" I do my best to disguise my voice as well and still somehow manage to appear rather calm. I will have to thank my fashion adviser after this is over... I am more than glad that I went to visit that person first, otherwise I could have done nothing except for watching a catastrophe unfold which could threaten all of my carefully thought out plans...

"_Excuse me, milady, these two persons just shouted the name of a worldwide renown terrorist and shouting in a foreign language what we assume to be insults. We have to take them in for questioning._" They are... If I ever could have killed that girl, Yun Yun, it would be in this very moment, I could just put my hands around her obnoxious neck and... I have to calm down... How could I get them out of this situation...?

"_Please, this is just a simple misunderstanding, monsieur. We are working on a movie, the filming of a book about the life of the terrorist 'Alphard Alshua'. Today we were going to rehearse, but I fear they got a little bit too much into character._" There is actually such a project... The police officer looks at me suspecting, but a second later his face lights up.

"_Ah, of course! Madame Bellaire! I am a great fan of your works... I have seen a trailer about that movie, it was very promising. Though I would ask you to explain this to the officials next time, I have to ask you to stop for today. The law is the law, after all_." I just give him a gentle smile, all those years of acting finally pay off... I am not exactly pleased that such a 'biographical movie', as they dub it, will be made, but it just saved me a whole lot of trouble...

_"Oh, of course. I apologise for the trouble they were causing you, it won't happen again."_ Both Canaan and Yun Yun just stand there, completely dumbfounded. They probably didn't understand a single word of that exchange just now, I myself almost find it hard to believe that this worked out... Well, I could have made up a better plan with a little bit of time, but I just remembered that this movie will also have parts in France, though I was never here...

"_Uh, we sorry are very much... What now happened?_" I am not especially good at French, but this is simply... I feel the desire to kill that girl rising again... How could someone this incompetent come into contact with Snake and live so long? There truly are mysteries in this world I cannot comprehend... I don't think any of the 'leaders' of Snake noticed this tragedy, they are sitting in some fancy hotels all day. Only my own followers probably noticed that, Cummings should take care of this report. Please don't let Liang Qi find out about this...

"Though you probably can't understand this, thank you very much. I don't know what happened just now, but we would definitely be in a lot of trouble if you hadn't talked to that police officer." Canaan can't speak French at all, apparently... I'll just have to play along for now, I can't risk being discovered... I take her hand and shake it, doing my best to maintain the veneer of a friendly stranger...

"Oh, it was nothing worth mentioning... though I would certainly suggest that you won't do such things anymore, that friendly officer was going to take you to the police station." It is a real challenge for me to maintain this facade in the face of such utter and complete stupidity, if they were recruits or even leaders of Snake I would hospitalise both of them in the very moment we were no longer in public... with my bare hands.

"You can speak Chinese? I wasn't expecting that, pretty convenient. So, uh, what was going on?" I just have t take Canaan's hand and shake it, very calmly... I just have to think about what will happen in two days...Yes, that's it, I'm calm again. Even if Canaan used her synestesia right now she wouldn't be able to see anything reminding her of me, unless she would try very hard. I'm still not through this, but my chances just got a lot better...

"Well, I told the officer you were members of my film crew and were enacting a scene from a movie about a certain 'Alphard Alshua'. He was going to take you to the police station, probably to question you and to test you for drugs and alcohol..." That wouldn't be so bad, but the chances that Canaan would just go with that person obediently is rather slim, she would've probably thought him to be a member of Snake or something like that...

"Eh!? Why would he do that? We were just talking about some private stuff, minding our own business. You see, my friend Canaan here thinks she's in love with Alphard and-" Hm? Canaan is in love with whom...? That... I must be hearing things, maybe I should go and see a psychologist, that would be simply ridiculous... Though Canaan is covering her mouth now, as if preventing her from saying anything else...

"Could you tell me that again? I didn't quite understand you. It sounded as if you were saying..." Now she is stopping me from saying anything else, making wild gestures. I think she is also just a little bit red... I know those symptoms, Liang Qi displayed similar symptoms before she confessed her love for me... When Cummings tried to warn me she always made him shut up and she tried to reject it immediately...

"Uh, she was going to say I was in love with that character, from a book..." ... There is no book published as of yet. I think Canaan may indeed be 'infected' with a 'virus' far stranger than the Ua virus, though I should carefully study these symptoms over the cause of the next few days. If she is to be 'infected'... I just hope she isn't effected with the aggressive viral strain Liang Qi is infected with, I would even prefer the passive strain of Cummings over that...

"Ah, yes, of course. Sorry, I was just a little bit confused about that." It would be best to let this subject rest for now, if I associate with them now I might reveal myself by accident, that can't be allowed under any circumstances. I will have to carry out this research from afar, at least for two days. If my research on Liang Qi's strain is correct I am immune to that virus, but I should still be careful...

"Uh, yes, exactly what Canaan said! And thank you very much for helping us out there, I don't know what we would've done without you..." Yes, that much is obvious... at least they don't seem to know just who is standing in front of their table, otherwise Yun Yun would probably go hysterical again and Canaan would be swinging her gun around or something along those lines... "So let me invite you as well!"

"Uh, I don't think that is such a good idea, my schedule is almost overflowing with appointments for the next few days..." The likeliness of infection appears to be higher the more time one spends with the host and the closer said contact gets. It was the same for Cummings, he was not infected, in the beginning. I didn't find a biological explanation, but it appears to be a form of psychological virus...

"No, no, I insist~ Just sit down here for a moment and I'll get you something to eat~" Now she is bouncing around, oh so happy... I really would like to take off all of this stupid makeup and grin at her, I'm sure the expression on her face would be priceless... It appears as if I'd have to sit down here, otherwise she will probably cause even more trouble... I should have just shot that girl back then, but that way Maria Oosawa would have died...

"I guess it can't be helped, once Yun Yun is set on doing something the easiest way is just doing what she wants you to. I guess hiding it would be useless by now, I'm Canaan." Well, so much for that... Human stupidity is something I usually include into my calculations, but I didn't expect a concentration quite as great as that one... I am almost amazed by the fact that she didn't blow that wagon up herself, maybe I could use that to my advantage...

"Alright, I am Isabella Bellaire, Isabella is fine." I myself am sometimes amazed by my own abilities, I have assumed this role almost perfectly and I didn't even have to think for a second about my reply. If I didn't act natural in such a situation I would attract attention and that would be a mistake. It was already a mistake to intervene, but I had to... Well, if I'm lucky Canaan won't see through my disguise, ones less naive than her failed at that task.

"Nice to meet you. So, you are making a movie about the life of Alphard Alshua?" I should change the topic as soon as possible, the more she thinks about me the higher the chance she sees through my disguise... But if I am too defensive about it that will also be noticed as suspicious, I have to act as natural as possible. How would someone else think of me without really knowing me?

"I was always fascinated by her criminal career, she truly was an evil genius. My research revealed to me that she probably had a very dramatic past, so I wanted to make a movie about it to show it to the world, the monster they have created by turning a blind eye on her homeland." I think that description should be good enough, it would be the same as any director would probably say about such a character.

"Are you really sure she was 'evil'? Maybe her motivations weren't evil at all, maybe she thought she was doing the right thing?" Maybe she saw even more than I first suspected when she used her synesthesia that time... It was bad enough that she saw my loneliness, but if she saw everything else... I couldn't make her believe I am evil, if she doesn't believe that she won't kill me and...

"Maybe you're right, but that still doesn't excuse the horrible crimes she committed. She has killed hundreds of people throughout her career and she was a cold-hearted and apathetic person, she didn't show even a hint of regret about killing her enemies or even her subordinates. Say, if you are that Canaan you should know, shouldn't you?" That Oosawa girl published her story and pictures about us, so Canaan herself is pretty much a celebrity now...

"I guess so, but it always felt a little bit off to me. There are a lot of things which don't really add up, now that I think about it..." Well, if it is just her thoughts she didn't see through me, that is a good thing... I will just have to disperse those doubts once we meet again, if I do that I will fulfil my purpose. If I just get her to hate and kill me for how evil I am or whatever other reason we will both be free...

"I would really like to ask you for an interview, to review my story so far, I want it to be as realistic as possible! Could we make an appointment?" I think this kind of behaviour will make her leave on her own, that would be even better than leaving... What is she doing now? She just stood up and moved over to my seat, stroking my cheek... "Excuse me, but what exactly are you doing...?"

"Alphard..." Does this mean... No, I don't quite think so, she doesn't really look at me, maybe she is just remembering something... It feels so good... but I can't take this. I have to resist my own wishes and kill my own heart, just as I did back then when I killed Siam. I didn't kill my heart because of him, it was so I would be strong enough to protect her, even if that meant she would hate me... "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"I think I should leave soon, I still have some appointments... If you would excuse me?" Just like this I walk away from the cafe, leaving Canaan behind, just as I did on that train back then... It is getting harder and harder, but I have to do it if I want her to ever find happiness... Even if I cause her pain, even if I cause myself this unbearable pain, I mustn't turn back for her, I mustn't take her with me...

"Excuse me~! Your croissants!" I'm really tired of this girl... Maybe I should kill... No, she is Canaan's friend. It would cause her to hate me even more, but I don't want to cause her any more pain, she should have something to return to. However, I think I will drop ridiculous act for this little girl, seeing her shocked impression should be enough to bring some different thoughts into my mind...

"Why don't you come a little bit closer? I have something to show you..." Oh, this will be enjoyable... Not that I really enjoy it, but seeing that kind of face always made me feel at ease. That is the face of my prey, it proves my absolute victory. That is the face prey must make before the snake bites it, ending their life... I can hardly anticipate it... I can just discard this disguise once I've gotten away either way...

"Huh? What is- this... this can't be..." Ah, simply delightful... that look of absolute confusion and panic, she doesn't even have the power to scream as I removed my contact lenses and the wig... I flash her a quick grin and take the bag with croissants from her hand, she is shaking in front of me, just like a scared and small animal. I should probably kill her, but I don't think she will be able to give Canaan any important information about me.

"Well, if it isn't Yun Yun... I see you've been doing quite well, haven't you? Why don't you work for me again?" She is still almost paralysed, just standing there, her eyes wide open, just like her mouth, stuttering some incoherent nonsense. Ah, this expression is perfect... Just as she was on that train... But enough of this, I have things to do. "Thank you very much for the croissants, I appreciate it. See you..."

I walk away from her slowly after redoing my appearance. Now I just need to find Cummings and get his report about our finances, I almost have as much as I did before I lost my position as leader of the Snakes. I will take back all that's left by these vultures, they will see what they get for betraying me... Ah, it's really cold, the sky is almost black now... perfect, even if Canaan was to pursue me I could escape her now.

"**AAAHHHHHH!**" I guess she snapped out of it, I could even hear it all the way over here, two streets away. I can't help but grinning and laughing a little bit as I run off even deeper into the night, this was a great relief from the boredom of financial matters... And soon I'll have an entire room filled with such faces, that will be even better... I wonder what Canaan will look like, will she be as surprised as they are?

Stop. I have to stop it. I am too sure of my victory, that is the reason I survived last time. I was too sure I would die in this fight, far too arrogant. I followed my plan so far, but I didn't plan in every detail, my death was something I assumed to take place either way, that was very reckless... maybe I should make sure I die this time, but that would make it kind of boring... No, I want to have at least some element of surprise left in it.

If she doesn't kill me no one will. No one else would be strong enough to do it, Snake, Natsume Yuri and her organisation... they had their chance and proved to me just how weak they are. The only one who can kill me is Canaan. As if I'd let someone else kill me, it is like a promise between us. The only one who can kill either of us is the other one. I won't kill Canaan, so the result should be obvious...

Yes, it will work out, somehow, I don't think Canaan would want to repeat this history yet again, she must be about as tired of it as I am. Liang Qi doesn't know about my plans with the leaders of Snake and I will make sure things stay that way. I will send her on a missions with top priority, she won't even be within a thousand kilometre radius around this city... Cummings will mind his own business, I already told him not to interfere.

The play is written, the roles are assigned. Almost everything is ready for my last performance, I will just have to prepare the stage and get Canaan to play her part, everything else will be child's play. I have a special video, just for her. Showing how I torture her best friend to death in a very slow and painful way. It is just edited, but Canaan's synesthesia won't be able to tell the difference...

I am prepared this time, I will even make sure that Maria Oosawa will be kidnapped, that way Canaan will have to believe it to be true. She will be far too angry to make any rational thoughts about all of this and Natsume Yuri will be glad to add some oil into the flames... This way Canaan will kill me, as she hears the screams of her best friend, filled with pain... It's amazing what hackers and editors can do these days, isn't it?

I did play my own part, but Maria Oosawa was just added in with some footage of her from some other times when she was in dangerous situations. Everything will proceed as planned. Canaan will believe that I'm finally insane and kill me... Afterwards she will find her best friend save and sound back home and then she will live happily ever after. At least that's how fairytales go, isn't it? Even a happy ending for me...

...

Author's note: Well, we always felt that Alphard would have to be very good at acting, she was able to fool Siam and Canaan on the train and those abilities are pretty much necessary for her to remain the leader of her organisation. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... Yun Yun made us do it! Yeah, she is very... strange, I don't feel as if we brought her across very well, though I hope it won't be too much of a bother...

By the way, the cursive text is supposed to be the characters speaking French, at least for this chapter.


	4. Silence before the Storm

**Canaan's POV**, the cafe

...

That woman was really nice, wasn't she? I think we'd have been in some real trouble with that person if she hadn't been there to help us, I don't know if it was a member of Snake or a real police officer, but it would've been bad news either way... Yun Yun went after her two minutes ago or something like that with the croissants, it's somewhat strange that she is taking so long. Well, I don't mind, if she isn't here with me, that's better for both of us...

Hm, though I was acting pretty strange today, I don't know what came over me when I was just stroking the cheek of that woman... Maybe it's the stress, but I could have sworn she looked just a little bit like Alphard... but that would be impossible, her skin was pale, her hair was blonde and her eyes were blue, there is no way in hell that could've been Alphard. Maybe I should apologise if I see her again...

"**AAAHHHHHH!**" That... Please, what is it now? That voice definitely belongs to Yun Yun, I could swear to it. Should I check it out? Maybe I should just leave her alone, she most likely will only bring along more trouble... but she didn't sound as if she was having fun, not even as if she was angry, it sounded very fearful. I have to look after her, she is my friend, after all. And apparently Maria's lover, I couldn't face her if something happened to Yun Yun...

Let's see, her scream was coming from an alley over there, it's already pretty dark. Maybe she ran into some thugs or something? I activate my synesthesia for a moment, but she is there all alone, I can't see anyone else close by. Some citizens in their homes, but no blue at all. Yun Yun, on the other hand... she is dark green, very much so. She is very scared, for some reason, but there is no one else here...

"Yun Yun, are you alright?" She slowly turns around to me, her eyes are very wide and her mouth is opening and closing, she almost looks like a fish out of water... apparently she delivered the croissants before she was frightened like this, they are nowhere to be found, so maybe it is something about that person, Isabella, was it? "What has happened to you? Calm down and tell me, it's fine now..."

"C-C-C-Canaan... There... there was...!" She is panicking again, waving her hand to the other side of the alley as if she thought a demon was standing there... Even with my synesthesia I couldn't sense a thing, there is simply nothing there. Whatever it was that scared Yun Yun like this has been gone for a while now... "S-She was there!" She? Who is she talking about? That woman from before?

"Yun Yun, try to take a deep breath and answer me calmly, there is nothing to be afraid of. You don't have to be scared anymore, you aren't in any danger." She is calming down little by little, taking in one breath after another... That must've been a pretty big shock for her, I don't think I've ever seen her this scared... "Now tell me, what was it that scared you so much?"

"It was... Alphard..." Alphard!? She was right here and I missed her! I didn't sense her with my synesthesia, so she must be far ahead of me by now... Damn it! "Sorry... I was just scared out of my mind, she was grinning at me... Just like back then, when she shot Maria in the stomach and locked us into that wagon... I though I was going to die..." I guess I can understand that, Yun Yun would have no chance against Alphard either way...

"It's not your fault, Yun Yun. There was nothing you could have done to stop her, I have a lot of trouble with her, even in a fair fight..." Yun Yun is far weaker than either of us and there is no way any average human would stand a chance against her, even if she was missing an arm. "So, how did it happen? Did she just walk up to you and say 'hi'?" I don't think so, that would be... Actually that wouldn't surprise me at all...

"I... I don't want to... Just... just let me get some rest, that was all a little bit too much for me..." Well, I guess it wouldn't help me very much now, Alphard is long gone and if she used some sort of disguise she probably has discarded it by now, she rarely uses the same trick twice. Now I'm absolutely certain that she knows we are here, there is no doubt we are a part of her plan now. But why did she scare Yun Yun?

"Don't worry about it, I will meet her in two days either way, there is no need to rush things now." If I get too close to Alphard she might think that the situation is too dangerous and not come at all, if that happened I'd be back at square one... I'm still not sure if I should tell Natsume about this, if she knew that Alphard knew she'd probably take some precautions... But if Alphard wants to meet me it would be stupid to do that, right?

"I will... go home for today. Sorry if I wasn't of any help to you..." Well, she did rather get me in trouble than helping me, but I can't just tell her that now. She already looks pretty down, maybe she's ashamed that she didn't try to catch Alphard, even if it would have been pointless. Well I would be embarrassed as well if I was found in such a state. But even if I'm afraid I use it to help me on, so I wouldn't end up like this.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, we will come and visit you once all of this is over..." Uh... maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea if Alphard made such a lasting impression on Yun Yun... But I don't want to lose my friends either, maybe all of us could just sit down together and talk about it? I mean, we are in a pretty complicated relationship, Alphard and I... Uh, there isn't much of a relationship right now, but if Yun Yun is right...

"Just leave me alone for today... I don't really want to meet that person again, but Maria seems to like her, for some reason, so maybe we can get along... if she doesn't try to scare me like that again, at least." Well, that's some good news, I guess. Now I'll just have to fetch Alphard and everything will work out in our favour, somehow. Though I still don't know how I should tell Alphard that I'm apparently in love with her or something...

Now that I think about it, whatever happened to Liang Qi? I haven't seen or heard a thing about her since Alphard disappeared, but she wasn't there when Alphard faced me on that train... That is very strange, I was expecting her to interrupt the fight with some sort of helicopter and start shooting at me with missiles or something along those lines... I'm glad that she didn't do it, but that's somewhat strange...

Liang Qi was also in love with Alphard, wasn't she? And Alphard never even showed a hint of similar emotions towards her... would she be that unapproachable for me as well...? Would I just follow her and try to get her attention while she would just use me for her own gains? I don't think I could bear that... In a certain way Liang Qi was a very pitiful person, I can almost feel some sympathy for her. Though she'd want to kill me even more if I got together with Alphard...

Getting together with Alphard? I'm thinking some really strange things, am I not? I mean, we are closer to each other than anyone else is to either of us, in a way, we grew up together, we lived together for years and only we know about the past of the other, at least a little bit. We should be able to understand each other better than anyone else ever could, yet we are mortal enemies and I don't understand her at all...

And if I could understand her I might end up like her... What are her motivations? Is it her loneliness driving her, is it her hatred, is it something entirely different? I just don't know anything at all... This is driving me nuts! I always try to understand her and get closer to me, yet she always seems to have me figured out completely and pushes me away! I think I would enjoy it to beat her up again now...

That's right! She'll need a real lecture, I will beat all that terrorism crap right out of her! Once that is taken care of we can talk, though we'll probably rather collapse because of exhaustion... That wouldn't be such a good idea, at least not if Natsume is there with us, she would kill Alphard if she got the chance, so this option is also not possible. Unless Alphard has somehow got a plan for that scenario.

*Sigh* And here I am, another complete circle. In the end there seems to be only one option for me, relying on Alphard's plan until I come face to face with her. Let's go through my options one last time for today... I can try to convince Alphard, I can try to join Alphard and I can just rely on Alphard to do everything for me. Well, the last one is not an option, in my opinion, but it would still be possible.

Convincing Alphard will be next to impossible, probably. I will still try it, but I don't think that's a real option, Alphard always was better at convincing others. Next up would be joining Alphard, it would mean that I'd get hunted down by Natsume and who knows how many others as well and I wouldn't be able to return home anymore... Besides, I'd have to do works for terrorists, that includes civilian casualties and other unpleasant deeds...

... Now that I think about it, I have an idea about what I could do while waiting for the masked ball. I think I should learn more about the motivations of terrorists, that way I might be able to understand Alphard a little bit better as well. Of course Alphard isn't just an average terrorist, in spite of her claims, but maybe I could find some similarities between the thoughts of a normal terrorist and Alphard.

...

Well, here I am, back in the hotel. I'm glad that I have my own room, I really wouldn't want to share a room with Natsume, I just get the feeling that she wouldn't be the right person for a slumber party... though that would probably be somewhat hilarious, in some unique way. Well, enough about Natsume in pyjamas, I have to start up my laptop. Somehow I never had much interest in the motivations of terrorists, but now... A new e-mail.

"Hey, was there ever a time when I wasn't lenient with you? I've known you for quite a while now and I always had patience for you, there were quite some instances when I had to explain certain things to you over and over, or did you forget about that? I will show you how to dance, no problem. And if you used to dance as a child that's even better, you should know some very basic steps at least. Yeah, see you!"

He's pretty cheerful, considering he could die during that dance or shortly after it... well, he's probably just trying to downplay the whole thing, maybe he is shivering in fear already, Alphard can be very intimidating and he is kind of betraying her by sharing classified information with me... Alphard was pretty sure that I have contact with some leader, otherwise she wouldn't have addressed me in that video, but she probably doesn't know who...

"Yeah, thanks for your continued support and patience, though I also helped you out quite some times. But I have a question for you as well. Could you tell me why you yourself or the other members of Snake joined a terrorist organisation in the first place and why you stay there? I mean, you seem to be very skilled and I'm pretty sure you could trick any government you'd want to and start working for them, you were able to trick Natsume, after all."

I did help him out sometimes to make sure he wouldn't get discovered, so I actually have already collaborated with terrorists... Well, I asked Natsume for permission and she told me to do whatever I want if I still work for her, so I won't have to worry about that, I guess. It wasn't that bad, I just had to eliminate some targets who knew too much and destroy evidence, know that I think about it that was exactly the same work Natsume had me do... Oh, I already got a reply.

"Yeah, thanks to you as well, I'm sure it will be a great and memorable dance, for both of us. Why did I or the other members become members in the first place? There are as many answers to that question as there are members, you know...? I do it to protect something very important to me, even if that might sound very strange and even self-contradictory to you. There is someone I want to protect, more than anything..."

He wants to protect someone and became a terrorist for that reason? That really sounds pretty strange to me, since when do terrorists protect something? All Snake seems to do is blow stuff up and infecting some people with their newest biological weapon, their newest strain of the Ua virus. How does that protect anyone? All it does is bringing more pain to the world and destroying the lives of others...

"I had a pretty rough childhood, just like most of the other members. I grew up in a war zone, I had to kill others while I was still a child and barely knew how to handle a weapon. Eventually I left that war and entered the 'civilised world', as they call it, but I soon realised that all I could do was killing others. I tried to overcome that, but it was almost useless. And the 'civilised world' was just a joke, corruption hiding around every corner."

Well, I guess politicians can be just as bad as terrorists, in a way. They don't really kill people, usually, but they often preach something and do the exact opposite of that, such behaviour can also cause many to die... I still think that politicians are better than terrorists, for the most part, but I think I'm starting to see their point of the whole story as well, at least a little bit of it. I would be the same as them if it wasn't for Maria...

"The politicians were making great speeches about ideals and how they were going to help the victims of the wars, but they were the very cause of the war which had made me into what I was. I saw their corruption with my own eyes, they were collaborating with groups you call terrorists and often worse than the terrorists. They killed those people for their personal gains, nothing else. We at least have some sort of higher goal."

A higher goal? I never heard about anything like that about Snake, that goal must be a personal thing or something only the leaders know about... probably. Those terrorists were always full of hatred when I faced them, I can't remember any of them with a different colour. Well, except for Alphard, of course...

"We are taken out of our misery by Snake, they give us a purpose and a goal, bringing the misery to those hypocrites and showing them what we went through. If we can do that they might understand it, they might turn away from their greed and vanity, their successors might do something for our homes instead of talking about it while adding oil to the flames in order to increase their own profits."

That is somewhat... understandable, I guess. It's true that Alphard only targeted really big opponents, such as politicians and company bosses, so maybe her goals were something along those lines as well? Or did she have something or someone to protect, someone I don't know anything about?

"We were already corrupted when we joined, we were taken from the gutter without a purpose or anything else, we were reminded of what we're supposed to fight for and fought for it. We have nothing to lose. Alphard knew that and only took those who would be lost without Snake, drowning themselves in alcohol or drugs or something else. We had something worth fighting for, though we had no hope, only our hatred."

Alphard took those men out of the gutter? That's a strange way of looking at it, I never thought Alphard would really care who joined her... I guess she did, if she just took anyone she wouldn't have been able to maintain her organisation and it would've been easy to infiltrate Snake...I still can't imagine Alphard inspiring others like that, she always was so apathetic with Liang Qi and anyone else...

"As I said, we were corrupted to begin with and Alphard didn't make any effort to conceal that fact from us, she even told us straight in the face what it would be like to fight for her. There would be no hope for us, there would be no salvation at the end of our lives, regardless of religion, race or gender, we were all lost. However, we could throw ourselves into death with the corruption, ending both our corruption and theirs. We could do things idealists could not."

Alphard told her members such things...? I always thought they were just stupid thugs paid to do those things, only interested in their own profit. I guess there were others amongst them as well, persons with goals they wanted to accomplish, even if that would mean their own death... I guess I can somewhat understand Alphard's followers now, but I don't know if any of that is true for her as well or if it was just an act...

"We, the true Snakes, don't mind dying for our cause, we will gladly follow Alphard or anyone else who will give us justice. Snake as it is now is just a common group of thugs, it is nothing like what Alphard built back then, but even now some of us are still around, though not much longer, I guess. We'd much rather die than crawling before any government. Well, it will be a good thing if you take us out, thank you. No harsh feelings, bye."

What a strange and twisted outlook on the world... I don't understand how they can think their actions protect anyone, they just spread more grief and they seem to have some sort of a death wish, if Kodoku is to be trusted. Though I don't know why he'd help me finding Alphard, wouldn't it be better for him if Alphard just resumed leadership of Snake? He was telling me how much better it used to be, yet he guides me to her?

Well, terrorists... I really want to know what of those opinions, if any at all, were shared by Alphard, those were just the opinions of Kodoku and some other members of Snake, Alphard could've easily tricked them, had she wanted to... Or did she show these people more of her true nature than she ever showed me? That thought kind of hurts me, I don't want Alphard to show her true feelings to strangers while hiding them from me...

I will continue this talk tomorrow, I'm rather tired... Tomorrow I will also have to assassinate my new target, the member of Snake I will replace during that meeting... I should call it a day, I can't effort messing up tomorrow, if the other leaders of Snake get wind of that the meeting will be over before it even began. I know that Alphard wants to meet me, but I don't want to wait for that moment any longer than necessary...

...

Alphard's POV, registered office of Daedara Company

...

*Sigh* This must have been the most annoying event which took place in my life since I learned that my organisation was taken from me by some amateurs, just because I supposedly died. Well, Daedara Company is still mine and all the other resources those idiots didn't waste as of yet will be in my possession again, soon enough. They were lulled into a false sense of security, yet they are like pigs on the way to the butcher...

'Reward them for taking care of my organisation'? They almost destroyed my organisation, it could almost count as a miracle that Natsume or someone else didn't already exterminate them, they are truly pathetic. I had no trouble sneaking into their middle with a false identity. Well, I do know most about Snake, so it was to be expected, but I am shocked by how simple it really was, they would take anyone now, wouldn't they?

How very foolish, it is not planned out at all... I took my subordinates from the gutter, they were the 'worst kinds of scum', as society would call them, drug addicts, alcoholics, murderers who served their sentence... Those are the people one has to use in a terrorist organisation, they have no hope and will cling to any straw offered to them for dear life, they won't betray you and they are easy to manipulate...

No one cares about them, the homeless, the desperate, the lonely... If you just give them a roof over their heads and some warm food they will be grateful, give them a vision to fight for, a meaning for their lives, and they will follow you through hell and back. Cummings is a perfect example, he used to be in a heavy depression until I found him, drinking litre upon litre of alcohol every day to forget the death of his wife...

He had hit the bottom, he was contemplating suicide and had already prepared a rope for himself. I met him by chance, roaming the streets to get new alcohol to make himself forget all about his past. I didn't know that he was a business man, quite a knowledgeable one actually, I just talked to him for a while. Talking is already a great relief for those sorts of people, they have no one to tell their tales to.

I met him again some times and eventually offered him a position in Daedara, a job as my secretary. Liang Qi was all but pleased about not being my secretary herself, but Cummings was far more suitable for that task. Eventually he fell in love with Liang Qi, though it is beyond me what he sees in her. I promoted him, he was to take care of business for me during my absence. His only request was having Liang Qi as his secretary...

He was grateful, no, even more than grateful, he felt as if he was on top of the whole world, he was the successful president of a rich company, the woman he loved was close to him most of the time and he got over the death of his wife. That was the moment to recruit him into the shadier aspects of my business and he was more than willing to join Snake, his gratitude to me and his love for Liang Qi made any other conclusion illogical.

That was a very wise decision, as well as leaving Liang Qi alive in spite of her defiance, they are my greatest allies at the moment. Cummings has managed the company very well and managed to expand into many new countries, effectively tripling the income of the company. I still do the really important decisions, but that is becoming increasingly unnecessary. I can focus on my terrorist business...

*Ring* We have a rather big building rented, it is an old house, but not old in the sense of the run-down apartment I used to sleep in for the last few days, it is very clean and rather impressive. Now that I'm here it won't be long before Liang Qi will find out about it, I should somehow arrange meetings with Cummings in private... No, that wouldn't work, Liang Qi knows everything about his appointments and he wouldn't hide anything from her...

"Huh? Who are you and what do you want here?" Oh, the disguise... it's about time for me to get rid of all this, I simply hate it... but it served me well, I should thank my fashion advisor later on, after I take a shower or something like that to get rid of all this annoying makeup. Though I guess this disguise is working fairly well if Liang Qi doesn't see through it right away... "Do you have an appointment? Wait... *Sniff*"

"I don't think I need an appointment, I own this building and everything in it." She looks very confused in her violet dress for a moment, but it doesn't take her very long to process the situation. Though I don't exactly enjoy this, being sniffed at by her. It is amazing that she can smell me like that, even with all the perfume I used today. Though I am not entirely sure how she knows my smell this well, but I don't think I want to know that either...

"Sister~! Sister! Sister! You came back for me!" Well, I came back for business, not for her, but even if I told her that she would just ignore it or play it down as a joke. No matter how many times I signal my disinterest in a romantic or sexual relationship with her she just comes back and tries again after a couple of minutes... it is simply annoying, that is all I feel towards her, simple annoyance. Though I don't feel anything else for any other humans either...

"I am here to see Cummings, take me to him." Well, I do have some other feelings for Canaan, but it would be all but wise to mention that name anywhere close to her... She nods and happily dances around... I would almost find it hard to believe that she is the same girl who came after Canaan with a helicopter, tried to kill Cummings and looked happy when she thought I was going to kill her...

"Of course, sister! Right this way! So, what were you doing?" The name Canaan is pretty much considered a taboo in her presence, it could easily lead to another one of her mental breakdowns and I much rather wouldn't deal with that if it could be avoided... She is no real threat to me, but it would be quite a bother if she killed Cummings or something along those lines... I don't want any attention by the media or something like that.

"I was scouting the city and keeping an eye on the leaders of Snake which have arrived so far." Most of them came and the others are expected to arrive here tomorrow, not one of them seems to want to miss this event... Very well, that saves the time and money necessary to hunt them down if they went into hiding. I just hope Liang Qi won't learn about Canaan attending the meeting as well, the results could become a catastrophe...

"They will all die... Hihihi... serves them right for betraying my sister..." If she did somehow get wind of that she would surely attend the meeting as well which would most likely lead to her death. I have to admit, I care for her, just a little bit, though I would never show it to her or anyone else, for that matter. Love is indeed a very strange virus, I don't understand it at all, despite my research with Cummings and Liang Qi...

"If memory serves me right you betrayed me as well, didn't you?" Yes, she did... Trying to fool me with a letter by Siam, luring me into an ambush... Had I not seen through her little trick I could have very well died at that time, I surrendered without hesitation and let them take me with them, had I tried to resist even I would have had little chance against that many soldiers. Besides, my life was still at risk, soldiers don't necessarily follow orders...

"I-I... I didn't mean to... it was just to..." Just to get my attention? Now she is just standing in front of me, almost ready to cry. Had I any emotions for her I would probably feel what is called 'pity' for her, but there is nothing, not even anger. I should have killed her in that laboratory where she conducted her loathsome research, I should have just let her take the imperfect vaccine... but there are ways to torture her even more...

"Pathetic. Your punishment will continue for as long as I live, you shall chase after me for the rest of my life, close enough for your hand to reach me, yet too far to even dream of having me." That should be a punishment even worse than death, death is a quick and relatively painless punishment. Living is much more painful... I lean in a little bit closer to her and whisper it into her ear again. "That's right, you will never have me..."

"S-Stop it... you were always... Always looking at her... that person..." I think I pushed her a little bit too far, I should be a little more careful with her, it is not good if she enters a state of mind similar to this one. But I want to push her even further, just to study what would happen. Would she go insane and try to kill me? Would she try to kill herself? Or would she disobey me yet again and hunt- "**CANAAAAAAAAAN! I'LL KILL HER!**"

"That is enough. If you even think of going after her again you will receive a punishment far worse than anything else." I walk past her, completely ignoring her whimpering and weeping. This was how I was raised, I feel no empathy for other humans at all, with the exception of Canaan. I kill without remorse, I commit unspeakable crimes without even batting an eyelid. This is the monster Siam had wished for, yet he was not satisfied when he had it...

"You always look at her... you only look at her... you only love her...!" Love? I feel no such emotions for Canaan, nor for anyone else. I do feel that there is a certain connection between us, that is the way fate made it, after all. In a way one could probably think of it as something romantic, such as a marriage, but there is nothing romantic or even remotely pleasant about that connection of ours. It simply means that I will try to save her from all of this and fail, again and again, for the rest of my life...

"Miss Liang Qi? Are you alright? Oh, Miss Alphard..." He looks at me for a moment, but quickly notices Liang Qi and runs over to her, taking out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears. Why does he do such pointless things? She will not reward his devotion in any way, just as I will never respond to her feelings. ... I suppose we are all like this, aren't we? I am always trying to reach Canaan, yet I never will. If only she could kill me...

"Get your dirty hands off me! Only my sister can touch me!" She is doing it again, her violet dress is ripping while she beats and scratches Cummings who is already on the floor... I feel as if I was in a kindergarten... Cummings is bleeding already, yet he doesn't even try to resist. Understand them who may, I most certainly do not. Maybe he is a masochist... But I have more important things to take care of than studying their dysfunctional relationship.

"Liang Qi... you will wait outside. Cummings, I will meet you in my office." While Cummings uses it for business for most of the time it is still my office, even if it wasn't he wouldn't dare to call it his own, the only time I ever saw him standing up to me was when I told him we would kill Liang Qi. Apparently love can cause the instantaneous growth of a backbone, Cummings was even trying to shoot me... with a BB gun...

"Sister..." *Sigh* I simply walk past them into the office, Liang Qi seems to have lost all interest in releasing her sadistic tendencies on Cummings. They would make a great couple, at least in a mathematical way, they complete each other. While Cummings is a rather calm and collected masochist Liang Qi is a psychotic and uncontainable sadist. I would also very much appreciate it if Liang Qi rather focused on Cummings...

"Miph Alphard..." I guess that was supposed to be 'Miss Alphard'? Not that I care for such formalities, he could just call me Alphard if he wanted to. That is my name, after all... As if I didn't know the true meaning of that name before I fought Canaan on that train. I chose this name myself, I knew that I would be alone once I killed Siam, but I had to do it nonetheless. All of that for her, yet she is willing to throw it all away just to meet me...

"Cummings, come in and close the door behind you. Make sure Liang Qi doesn't eavesdrop, understood?" The least thing I would need now is Liang Qi learning of my plans, that would make her go beyond psychotic... I guess I am planning to kill myself, in a way. That will be my reward, one last act to protect my little sister, that is more than enough. But if Liang Qi knew that or even worse, for which person I want to do it, there is no telling what may happen.

"Yes, Miss Alphard." I let myself fall into one of the armchairs, they are quite comfortable, though green isn't exactly my favourite colour. There are a lot of green things in here, the wallpaper and the carpet, some plants as well. This is not really the office, it's more of a room for meetings with the principals of other companies, though I don't really like Cummings taste. Well, he has to spend all his time here, so it's his choice.

"I want a complete report, not a single gap." I will need to know everything in advance, every possible escape, even the smallest detail. I won't allow any of these so-called leaders to escape the bloody banquet I am preparing for them. Canaan can just fight her way out once she has killed me, she was always very good at that... Though I will leave an escape route open for myself, just in case Canaan will refuse me my death yet again.

"Of course, Miss Alphard. Out of the thirty-two guests thirty-one are in this city, the one not abiding your call was taken care of already. The hall is completely empty, save for the banquet and the monitor you have ordered. The walls are half a meter of granite, nothing short of a bomb would get through there. The doors are twenty centimetres of thick steel, nothing will get out of there without the permission of your loyal guards."

"I take it that you have made sure they are loyal and given them their instructions?" Once Canaan or I order them to open the doors they are to obey that order, not if anyone else does. They will make sure none of the leaders with half a brain gets any ideas of eliminating all of his rivals at once. They are under constant surveillance, but I still don't want any unpleasant surprises during the event. Just me and Canaan...

"Of course, the stage is prepared for your... last performance, Miss Alphard..." He looks a little bit sad, though I don't understand the reason for that. This is what I wish for, so shouldn't he be happy for me if he feels anything about it? Besides, he will have Liang Qi all to himself once I am gone, all the more reason for him to anticipate my permanent departure. "Miss Alphard, it was an honour, serving you for these short three years..."

"Cummings, you shouldn't be sad about this, though there is one last thing I need you for. I want to ask you to take care of Canaan in my stead, should she decide to continue fighting once I am no more. That is my last and only will." It feels somewhat liberating, as if all the burdens of my life were about to be lifted from my shoulders... I am happy about this, I will be free of Siam, just as Canaan... and she will be free of me...

"I... I know, it's just... You have given me everything I have, without you I would have continued to waste away in my apartment filled with nothing but the stench of alcohol or I would have killed myself by now, I can't tell. What I can tell is that you were, in spite of your cold behaviour and your occasional cruelty, like family for both Liang Qi and myself... Is this really what you wish for, Miss Alphard...?"

"Yes, it is. You were a loyal and reliable comrade for me as well, even when I returned to you with no possessions or power left at all you didn't hesitate to take me in. However, do not mistake this for sympathy, you are not family for me. It's not as if I had a choice, this is my fate." I have no family anymore, I ended it with my very own hands, the day I decided to kill Siam. Siam was never family for me, but I played along, back then...

"I know, Miss Alphard. There is only one person you ever considered family or even more, Canaan. Though Miss Liang Qi will be very depressed if you were to die... Are you really certain? I don't think Canaan would be happy about your death either, or did you forget what happened after your first apparent death?" How could I forget that... She didn't move on as I had hoped, she was considering suicide during that time and I couldn't do anything... yet I did.

"It may be foolish of me to think that she will get over it, but if I can show her that I'm not her long lost sister or whatever I am in her opinion she will kill me without regrets. Being an average terrorist doesn't appear to be enough to stir up her hatred, so I have to become a monster in her eyes." If I get her to think that... If I can do that she will be free from the past entirely, that is enough for me...

"Miss Alphard... if you had not done anything that girl, Canaan, would have killed herself. Had you not left the smallest of traces, barely enough to suspect anything, but still enough to be noticed, she would have had no hope." Back then I thought Siam's death would be enough for Canaan to hate me, I thought it would work out... I was careless and arrogant, I didn't hide my feelings well enough. This time... she will see nothing, no colour at all.

"She will make it, she is strong, far stronger than I am. She escaped the ghost still haunting me and moved on, she lived through the war I died in and she moved on, so very far beyond me... Just watch over her, if I am wrong take care of her..." That is my will, all there is to it. I want Canaan to have the happiness I never had and will never have, I want her to enjoy the rest of her life without my shadow darkening it.

"Miss Alphard, I will protect your light if she really kills you, accept my oath. If you are to die I will do whatever I can to protect her and cheer her up from the shadows, I will give it my all. However, if your deception fails you will have to protect your own light. That is what I ask for in exchange..." Cummings is on his knee with his right hand over his heart, he seems to be serious. Did he suddenly grow a backbone again, making a demand of his own?

"I feel rather generous today, so I will overlook your discourtesy for asking something in return for fulfilling my last will, just this once. Since I will not fail in making Canaan hate and kill me I might as well just go along with it. I will consider it if it happens." ... This way I cannot fail. If I fail Canaan would be bound to feel even more pain because of me, whether I would be brought to 'justice' or killed on the spot. If she came with me it would be the same, so I am not allowed to fail.

"Very well, I shall remind you of this oath once you safely return with Canaan. I will try to make Miss Liang Qi understand it somehow, though I can't promise anything..." Making Liang Qi understand that? Yeah, good luck with that one... I will only believe that once I see it, considering her previous behaviour it isn't very likely, though I wish him the best of luck. Not that I have any intention of returning...

"And I thought you had no teeth to bite with... Though you are mistaken, that was not an oath, I said I might consider it. I don't make any promises, there is only one promise I will keep." That's right, I will keep that one promise... I don't know how long ago it was, but I promised Canaan I would always protect her... That was the reason why I killed Siam and took all the blame, I thought I could protect her by doing that. Did I succeed? Will I succeed in the end?

"I apologise, Miss Alphard, though I look forward to seeing both of you again, together. But you should rest for today, I have already prepared a room in a hotel for you." He stands up again and takes a small piece of paper out of his pocket, offering it to me with a small smile. He is really strange, why does he care about me? I only helped him so I could use him and I told him exactly that, yet he still feels grateful...

"*Sigh* Fine, I give up, I am tired of this emotional nonsense. I will just go along with whatever Canaan wants..." Whether I do that or not, it will shut Cummings up. I take the piece of paper from his hand and walk towards the door. As soon as I arrive in my hotel I shall take a shower, I hate this makeup, the wig and this dress... I would like to just rip it off and get some real clothes, but I will have to wear it until I'm under the shower...

"Goodbye, Miss Canaan. And good luck!" Whatever... I quickly make my way out of the building, Liang Qi is not there, she is probably busy packing her things or something like that, she will be out on a mission for the next three days. The air is very cold now, it will be winter soon...

...

Author's note: Oh my, the chapters just seem to get longer and longer, Nyria is going crazy with this story here... Well, don't expect us to keep up this pace with one chapter every two or three days, it will probably slow down eventually, though we won't abandon any of our stories under any circumstances. It still feels a little bit heavy in terms of atmosphere, at least to me, but it should get brighter eventually... I hope...


	5. Dreams are but Shadows

**Canaan's POV**, her room, evening

...

Well, here I am again. A pretty nice room, probably two times three metres. The wool carpet is of a light grey, the walls are a light brown with some red mixed in. All in all it feels rather comfortable, though I still prefer my own apartment. The lamps also have a rather warm light, it isn't half bad. The bed is rather nice as well, some dark wooden bedposts, almost black, and simple white bedding, though it'll probably be too soft for my taste.

So, what should I do now? I want to sleep to make sure I'm prepared for tomorrow, but I don't feel tired at all. I feel so excited about meeting Alphard again, I was so close to seeing her again today, yet I missed her by mere seconds... That's really frustrating, I should tie her up as soon as I catch her to make sure she won't just coil herself out of my grip or coil around me... She is actually a lot like a snake, in that way...

*Knock* Somehow I suddenly feel very tired... well, not really, but I still don't want to answer the door, it will just be Natsume... Alphard would never come into this hotel at this time, especially not with Natsume next door. Besides, I don't think she would knock if she wanted to come in here, she would just pick the lock or batter in the door... *Sigh* She could have some information, so I slowly get up and open the door...

"Canaan, I have made a decision regarding your target. Out of the four members we can choose from I would suggest you take down Kamik Nayar, he is a rather young male of Indian origin and looks at least a little bit like you." Well, I rather wouldn't have Natsume tell me I look like a boy, but I guess I will be a boy from tomorrow onwards, if I kill that person and assume his role.

"Yeah, thanks... Anything new about Alphard?" I don't really think so, but I can still ask Natsume, she is pretty obsessed with catching Alphard as well... though our reasons are probably very different. Natsume probably wants to silence her, I wouldn't believe her acting out of ethical motives for a second... and I, what do I want to do with Alphard once I catch her? I just don't know yet...

"Well, I received a very interesting report this evening." What? She actually found something about Alphard!? I almost find that hard to believe... "It was about two girls randomly shouting Chinese sentences containing her name as well as yours in public. Apparently they almost got arrested, though one of the locals helped them escape. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" That was not what I wanted to hear...

"You already know all about that, don't you? I asked you for something new..." She doesn't seem to know anything about Yun Yun's chance encounter with Alphard, that's probably a good thing... I wouldn't want her to get pulled into this as well, partially because I don't want her to get hurt in the process, but even more so because she would probably mess everything up even more...

"Those were the only news we have for now. You should go to bed soon." I mumble something back at her, though I'm not really sure what it was myself. At least Natsume is leaving now, she just closes the door and the sounds of her steps disappear. So, what kind of a person is it I'm going to replace?

Kamik Nayar... a nineteen years old Indian boy, 165 cm height, 135 pounds weight and his skin colour is also almost the same as mine. His picture also looks a lot like me, though his hair colour is light brown, as well as his eyes. I guess I'll be fine if I wear a costume hiding my face, Natsume will provide that... I really rather wouldn't play along with that part, but I guess I have no choice in that matter...

Hm, he has committed some pretty horrible crimes, according to this report he has killed more than hundred persons throughout his career, he was also involved in a lot of drug dealings and has supported other terrorist groups than Snake as well... Though he doesn't seem to associate with Snake very much either, his actions are not approved of, even by the other members. Well, that's not a very difficult role, I guess...

I rather wouldn't assume the role of this idiot, but I don't seem to have much of a choice. He isn't really involved with the internal conflicts of Snake, so I should be able to just make up some things on the spot if one of the other leaders asks me something... That's for the best, I wouldn't be able to deceive them if I had some complex role with a lot of internal connections and involvement in international trade...

I'll just have to lay low during the ball and no one should notice me, that should be easy enough. At least until Alphard finally makes her appearance, I don't know what I'll do then. She will probably walk in through the door and be as nonchalant about it as always, as if nothing happened between us, as if everything was still the same as it always has been... What will I do if she does...?

*Sigh* Here I am, thinking about pointless things again. Well, I should just stop doing that... or at least do something else at the same time, something useful or relaxing... Come to think of it, I didn't check out the bath as of yet, a warm shower or a bath should make me feel sleepy, right? That way I will be able to finally get some sleep, unless Alphard decides to haunt my dreams again...

No use worrying about that dream. I take my pyjamas and a towel out of my luggage and walk out of my room. Where are the bathrooms again? I think they were down this hallway, to the left... No, they aren't here... Maybe this way to the right? Still nothing... or was it this way? Uh... I probably should've asked Natsume or something like that, maybe I should just get return and do so?

... Where did I come from again? I was pretty sure it was this way... I could just use my synesthesia to find my way back to Natsume, but I don't really want to ask her where the bathrooms are... Who thought it was a bright idea to place all of the damn bathrooms together somewhere as far away from the guestrooms as possible to begin with? That seems to be a very stupid design...

...

Finally, I have found them... Uh... which number did my room have? I think it was... 210? I will just go in there and act as if it was, if no one else is in it already. I'm pretty sure it was 210 anyways. I step in, the actual bath is in a separate room, I can just change here... I take off my clothes rather quick and go into the next room. The tiles on the ground are white and black, it almost looks like a big chessboard...

It is a bath, not a shower. Pretty big... probably two square metres? There is water in it and steam some steam, though not enough to obstruct my vision. This bath is obviously taken already, I should just... wait, what? I... My mind must be playing tricks one me... I could have sworn that the person on the other side of the bath was... but that would be just ridiculous, right? I must be going crazy...

"Oh, Canaan. Want to join me?" What. The. Hell!? There is Alphard, relaxing in my bath and making fun of me? This must be another strange dream or something like that, there is no way what I'm seeing and hearing right now is true... but here she is, smirking at me the way she always does, as if there was nothing strange about this at all... Everything about this is strange! Just what is going on here...?

"Alphard... Alphard!? I... you... what did you... what are you..." There are just too many questions I want to ask her, yet nothing even somewhat coherent wants to escape my mouth... I feel stunned, as if... well, as if Alphard, the leader of a terrorist organisation and my longstanding mortal enemy was just sitting there in the bathtub and asking me to join her, I guess... Yeah, that describes it pretty well...

"Yes, Alphard. Just get in here or leave." ... In all these years chasing her I never even dreamed of meeting her like this... Maybe this dream is a result of how Yun Yun made me think I might love Alphard...? This doesn't make any sense whatsoever, it must be a dream... Well, if it's just a dream I might as well just go along with it. I put a foot into the water and soon slip in completely... It's really nice... "One question at a time."

"Is this a dream?" I'm just overwhelmed by this, I don't understand what's going on at all... Alphard is sitting there, right in front of me, completely naked, just covered by some bubbles... I feel so strange, all of a sudden... Maybe the heat and the steam are getting to me? But if this is a dream that can't be, right? I just feel so dizzy and strange... Alphard looks a little bit confused, but her grin widens after a moment...

"Sure, this is a dream. What did you think this was? Though I wonder what you are doing in my bath..." So it is a dream... Huh? Her bath? I was pretty sure I got the number right... But this is a dream, so what am I even trying to accomplish by thinking rationally? I should just let go of reason and logic, they don't matter here at all, do they? That means I can do whatever I want, without having to worry about consequences or governments or Alphard's crimes...

"I thought this was my bath... Uh... You're so beautiful, Alphard..." What am I even saying? Well, this is a dream, so I can just babble some nonsense, can't I? Though it is true... she looks great, the white bubbles all over her dark skin, only slightly covering her gorgeous form... I want to... touch her... I should probably snap out of it... but what's the harm, if it's just a dream...?

"In fact it is not. And what are you talking about? You almost sound like Li-" Hm, she feels pretty real... but her left arm is the way it always was, nothing missing at all... Well, this is a dream... She stopped talking and looks at me even more confused than before, though she almost looks a little bit... embarrassed? I think her face just go a little bit darker as well... Yeah, this has to be a dream, Alphard blushing...

"I don't care, if this is just a dream we can just forget about everything else, right? Let's just forget all of the past and the future and only worry about the here and now..." I slide even closer to Alphard... This is dangerous, this feeling... or it would be, if this wasn't just a dream... I remove my hand from her arm and put it behind her head instead, burying it in her raven hair, pulling her head slightly closer...

"What...? What do you think you're doing?" Now she is resisting a little bit, but not as if she really tried to resist... Just pulling weakly on my arm, it's almost as if she didn't want to resist. What a strange dream, maybe Yun Yun was right after all... what am I even trying to do here? I want to get even closer to her, even closer... but if I get any closer I will touch her even more, our bodies will...

"Who cares? This is just a dream and so are you, so I can do what I want, can't I?" Yeah, that makes sense, it's my dream, so I can do whatever I want, it's not as if it would have any effect on reality... that feels really strange, dreaming and being aware of it... wait, I never really was conscious of the fact I was dreaming until I woke up, does this mean I'm awake? But this whole scene is just too absurd to be true...

"Well, this may be your dream, but if you continue doing what you're doing this can turn into a nightmare before you know it..." My own dream is threatening me? This can't be a dream, yet it has to be at the same time... I never used drugs or the like, but I somehow feel as if this was exactly what it would be like... None of this makes sense... I hesitantly let go of Alphard's hair and move a little bit away from

"So, what are you doing here, dream-Alphard?" I somehow feel really ridiculous, talking to something which isn't supposed to be here and maybe isn't here at all... It's almost a little bit as it was with Siam before I met Alphard again on that train, but it's also completely different. It feels so real, just like then, but it also feels very surreal... Is this real or is it just a dream? I'm confused as hell...

"Well, taking a bath, can't you tell? I'm rather wondering what you do here, this is my bathroom, after all. Did you get lost or were you too afraid to go into the bath without me?" She got me there, if this was actually her bathroom I must've mixed up the numbers or something... This almost feels a little bit like back then, I always used to wash myself with Alphard, we rarely had enough water for two showers...

"It's nothing like that, it's just... *Sigh* I give up, I took the wrong door, apparently..." Now she's giving me a victorious smirk, as if she knew this was what had happened from the very beginning... just as always. It really is like back then, almost as if nothing had changed since then, yet everything has changed between us... "Hey, Alphard? Why did things have to go the way they did? Why did you have to kill Siam...?"

"It was my mission to leave no eyewitnesses alive, that's what I was ordered to do. Didn't Siam teach you to always complete your missions flawlessly?" I guess... that's true, Siam always taught us to do whatever we were paid for, kill whoever we were supposed to... but I don't think he ever thought that our client would order us to kill each other... And there's something bothering me about that explanation...

"But I was also there! I was right there with you and saw everything, even how you killed Siam! You also saw me, you beat me up before escaping... so why?" Now she is looking a little bit sad and unsure, as if she wasn't sure what to say or as if she herself didn't know the answer to that question... "You had so many chances to kill me, had you really wanted to... so why? Why did you leave me alive?"

"... Didn't I tell you already? It was to create a monster, just like me, consumed by her hatred for this world, the ultimate revenge. This would've been far worse for Siam than simply killing you." Now she almost looks as cold as always, her steel-grey eyes fixating on me, her eyes almost look like those of a snake when she does that, looking down on her prey...

"But if that was your goal you accomplished it during our fight at the International Anti-Terrorism Conference, so why did you let me live then? I was completely lost in my hatred at that time..." I really wanted to kill Alphard, but that would've only made things much worse, wouldn't it? It doesn't matter if Alphard thinks anything of it or doesn't, but these tattoos are proof that we are family. But she shot of her arm with it, didn't she...?

"I really wanted to see you struggling in the darkness and slowly drown in the mud as I would watch on, always above you..." She sounds so sinister, as if that was what she really wanted, but I feel as if that wasn't the truth, there is just the faintest hint of sadness in her eyes and her voice, as if she didn't want to say that, as if the person who used to be my older sister was hiding behind her cruelty, somewhere...

"Alphard... Even without using my synesthesia I'm sure that it was never your intention to kill me or harm me... I just don't understand why you did all of this if you didn't want that... Please, tell me..." I move closer to her again and put my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She is so warm and strong... but her skin is also much softer than one would expect, I was really surprised when I washed her back for the first time...

"You are mistaken, this is just your dream. You are seeing what you want to see, not what actually is. The day after tomorrow... On that day you will see the truth with your own eyes, you will see me for the monster I am..." Her voice trembles, just a little bit... but I completely forgot this was a dream, it really felt like it was all real... well, so does a dream, until you wake up...

"Hey, Alphard... If this is just a dream, can I sleep a little bit longer? I want to stay here with you, even if it's just for this night..." I look up into her eyes, her face is so close to mine... if I'd just lean a little bit forward our lips would touch... Wouldn't that be where I'd wake up? It's almost always like this with dreams, just before the terrible or wonderful thing the dream was about happens it ends...

"You will have to wake up soon, you can't stay for much longer. Neither can I..." What's that supposed to mean? My dream wants to go somewhere without me? And why can't I stay here some more? I want to stay here, I want to be with Alphard, just a little while longer, even if it's just a dream... After one year of separation staying with her for one night can't be considered immoderate, can it?

"So you will leave me soon, yet again... why can't you just stay with me? Once I catch you at your little event in two days I won't let go of you again... but for now I want to get one last thing from you before I wake up..." I really want to kiss her, for some reason... not as a sister, but as... As what exactly? As a lover? Maybe... I just know that I really want to, it'll be like a promise to get her back, no matter what...

"We will see about that... but I guess I can allow that, it's your dream, after all. Do what you want to, you only have some seconds until I leave either way..." Well, she did give me her permission, so I guess it's okay... I hug her even closer now, our bodies are literally pressing against each other, her dark and wet skin is so hot against mine... This is pure bliss... I move my face even closer to hers, now it's just a few centimetres between our lips...

"This is my promise to you, I will definitely get you back, Alphard, no matter what..." Mmh... this is... it feels so good... I press myself even stronger against Alphard as she stiffens a little bit, but she doesn't do anything against it now, she even puts her arms around my back and squeezes me a little bit as well... She puts her right hand into my hair and strokes it a little bit, just like then...

"That was... more than enough. I will go now, have a nice dream." Yeah, she is way too nice for this to be anything but a dream. She quickly takes her arms away from me and pushes me away before she gets out of the bathtub and to the other room, away from me... A minute later I can hear the door opening and closing, I'm all alone again... I will just go back to my room and finish this strange dream, I'll probably laugh at myself tomorrow...

...

**Alphard's POV**, immediately afterwards

...

I will have to have a word with Cummings tomorrow, how can he dare this... Yes, this whole disaster is all his fault, his fault alone... A dream? She either just played along or she has gone completely insane... What was going on in that empty head of hers? Kissing and hugging the murderer of someone she saw as her father... maybe she really did go insane, that appears to be a side effect of the virus called love.

I have read some books about it, but I never really understood it. Some say it has something to do with souls and other abstract things which can't be demonstrated, others claim it to be a result of biological reactions in the brain, but not one of those books offered me a reliable remedy for it. Strange, according to these books it is a very common form of mental illness, at least I would categorise it as such after observing Liang Qi or Cummings.

If that is common behaviour for people in love I would imagine some scientists would've found a remedy by now. Well, they aren't normal by any definition, I suppose, but Canaan wouldn't fit that definition either... The symptoms they all seem to have in common are waning reason and increased carelessness. It seems to have something to do with reproductive instincts as well, though that doesn't seem logical in the cases of Liang Qi and Canaan.

It would hardly serve the purpose of reproduction if two individuals of the same gender fall in love, they can't reproduce. Therefore it must have some sort of different meaning, maybe I should ask Cummings about it? Yes, tomorrow is the last day I have to think of an efficient remedy for this virus... This is quite a challenge, I won't be able to research the biological processes behind this emotions, so I must rely on something else...

My current plan to make Canaan hate me should still be my best bet, I have little other choice. She can't love me if she hates me, therefore it is still a valid solution for this problem of mine. This solutions relies on the assumption that hatred can cancel the effects of love, but all of this is still in the testing phase... this is a very complex situation, an untested remedy based on a simple theory could fail or cause unwanted side effects...

Well, this is probably the best thing I can come up with, I only received that piece of information this afternoon in the cafe, though I rather questioned the validity of the original source Canaan's actions a few minutes ago suggest it to be true. Love messing up my plans... it was never a part of my world, it just seems to want to force its way into it. Just like Siam, back then... He loved me...

That is another thing I should tell Canaan about when we meet, if she really loves me and thinks of Siam as a father she should be furious about that. Not that we ever did anything even close to what Canaan did to me today, I always hated him, even at that time... especially at that time. Liang Qi is also a very good candidate, if I was to tell Canaan I was together with her now that should be enough to make her hate me.

Love appears to be the source of jealousy quite often and that jealousy can lead to hatred, it was enough for Liang Qi to try to fight me. If I had told her I was interested in Canaan the way she was interested in me that would've probably let her to try and kill me instead, so it could work with Canaan. It might not be the best plan, but it is the only option ensuring my own death.

I have to be more careful in the near future, I noticed some indications that I myself might have been infected with this virus... Increased body temperature upon close contact, acting unreasonable... Well, it is still in an early stage, therefore I should be able to suppress it, even if I am indeed infected. Though it would be rather interesting to see what could be the results of letting this virus unfold...

I shouldn't make such admissions to it, those would probably just serve to increase the rate at which the virus spreads through my body and mind. I need to be completely in charge of my own emotions when we meet, otherwise she could just see through me with her synesthesia... It would be so much easier if she didn't possess that ability, but I have trained for this fight, not just my body. I am even better at suppressing my thoughts and emotions now if I need to...

I can't allow myself such weakness in front of her, otherwise she might take that as a sign that I'm not as bad as I want her to believe. That conclusion would be the end for my current plans, Canaan won't kill me unless she believes my act. I can't let her see through me again, not like that day. Had she not seen through me she would've dropped me before we were over the river and I would have landed on solid ground instead, effectively crushing my body.

Love is such an annoyance... it never did anything for me, it always threatened my plans and forced me into dangerous situations. Liang Qi almost killed me with her insane plans to get my attention and Cummings would have killed me, had I not swapped his pistol with a BB gun. And now Canaan doesn't want to kill me because of it, this could be a scene from some ancient Greece myths, their stories always had a wonderful sense of irony.

Well, if my story has anything in common with these ancient myths I won't have to worry about a 'happy' ending, that was not really their preference, the Greece myths tend to end in tragedy. Especially if someone tries to go against fate, such as Canaan... I just hope that this tragedy is meant for me, maybe my death will be enough to settle the score. I don't want her getting hurt anymore, she had to endure too much already...

Why can't she just hate me, why couldn't she just kill me or forget all about me on that train and move on? She overtook me years ago, I'm still stuck at that time when I killed off whatever emotions I ever had for her, so she could have what I never will have... A carefree and normal life with friends, not having to worry about others trying to kill you or about killing others... Is that single wish so much to ask for?

All the wealth I accumulated over these last years, all of it is useless in this situation, I can't use it for anything... I always was able to solve any problems I had with money or information, but those infected with a virus called 'love' don't seem to pay any attention to the reason or the consequences of their own actions. Did Liang Qi or Cummings think rationally about the consequences of their actions? Not at all.

Therefore I have to assume that the same will be true for Canaan, if she acts according to her emotions she will be unpredictable and she might even overlook all my crimes and the fact that she has no future with me. She's probably relying on me to make up some grand scheme to redeem myself in the eyes of the world or she might even think about joining me, but I won't do any of that...

"Why don't you give her a chance? What's the worst that could happen? Are you afraid of getting hurt or losing her eventually? Is it worth the price, not having anything so that you won't lose anything?" Here he comes again, to taunt me, as he always does. But he is wrong, I am not afraid of anything like that. The only thing I truly worry about is hurting Canaan, that's the one thing I don't want to happen...

"What's it to you? You aren't alive anymore, so you have no right to decide and even if you wanted to there is absolutely nothing you can do. I will end this the same way I had always intended to and nothing will stop me, this is my only objective." No matter how I look at it, that is the only desirable outcome, my own death will end this vicious circle and set both Canaan and myself free. Well, I might end up in hell, but I don't believe in gods either way.

"You aren't alive either, or did you forget what Canaan told you on that train? Yet you just went ahead and made your own decisions, not giving a damn about that 'rule', you never really cared much for rules in the first place." Well, rules are meant to be broken, aren't they? Always going by the rules will just become a hindrance and reduce the possible success. Just throw all those rules and morals overboard...

"This time I follow an objective instead of a personal desire. Does that make me invincible again, just like back then?" Yes, as long as I follow my objective without any personal feelings I will be able to reach my set goal, not matter how hard it might be, there is nothing that could stand in my way... I can't allow my personal feelings to get in my way this time, even if they were to cry out and tried to set a different course...

"Oh, you are invincible, of that I am sure. However, you may not be able to maintain your logical thinking and your cold exterior might crumble like ice if her warmth can reach you, no matter how much you try to resist it." I'm not like Siam, I won't let my personal feelings get the better of me, it doesn't matter if it hurts her or myself, I won't let them get in the way of my best solution.

"Well, if that is true there's nothing to worry about, I will achieve the goals I have set for myself. You won't get in my way and Canaan can't defeat me, my plans will work out just the way I want them to." As always. I can't even remember the last time I lost to anyone except for that last fight on the train. And this time she will have reason to believe I did kill Maria, she will hear her pain and see her apparent death through my hand, though none of that is real.

"You might find that harder than you think right now, Canaan is very persistent and your facade might not be as strong as you think it is." Yes, today in the bath... all of it was crumbling, ever so slightly... But that situations was completely different, I was surprised and didn't have the time to prepare myself for my act, I have almost two days to prepare myself this time and I won't let her touch me like that...

"My facade will be as strong as it needs to be, even if I have to rip out my own heart again so I might find the strength to play this act to the very end..." I hope she won't cry, I don't even deserve that... I still wonder, what will she do once I am no more? I will pray for her happiness, no matter where I will be after she kills me, if it is possible at all I will watch over her and pray, even though I never once prayed before...

"You were always like this, weren't you? Even when you used to be with her you always tried to protect her and got hurt, though you didn't let her see your wounds even once. You always put on a smirk, regardless of whether you felt joy or pain, you always grinned at her and tried to make her stronger..." I guess that is true, I always tried to protect her from this world and Siam, but it seems as if I failed and made it even worse...

"In the end it makes no difference whatsoever, does it? The only thing that matters is her happiness after my death, that is all I care for, for she will never find happiness with me. Or maybe we just weren't meant to be happy to begin with..." Now that I think about it, this really reminds me of a Greece tragedy, I tried to change her fate with all my strength and that was exactly what brought her where she is now...

"As I said, she won't be happy if you're gone, she will feel even worse. The thought of seeing you again was all that kept her going for this last year... no, even before that she always wanted to meet you again." And that is the one thing I can't give her, if I'm with her she will just be dragged into my darkness, she will never have the light I hoped she would find if she stayed with me in the past...

"Yet more tempting words, trying to convince me with deception is futile, you might as well not even try. I won't let this poison of regret and enticement enter my blood, I will stay strong until the very end, for her sake." Yes, all of this is for her sake... I can't let her know that, not under any circumstances, therefore I have to die and take it to the grave. The life of a person who died years ago is a very low price for her happiness...

"Well, this doesn't mean anything to you, coming from someone like me, but you are wrong, oh so wrong. In the end even your death will bring with it more sadness into her life than your life ever did." This is enough already, I don't have time to bother with the fabrications of my mind any longer, I can't even effort feeling angry at Siam, I can't effort any feelings at all if I want my last scheme to work...

"Indeed, it doesn't mean anything coming from the likes of you, nor do you mean anything. I will continue on this path, to the very end." I have no other path left, after all. All I can do now is move onwards, I cut off any escape routes the day I killed Siam so that I may never run from this plan, even if I ached to see her again, even if I wanted to be with her, even if I wanted to turn back... There is no way back, just the path ahead of me, even deeper into the darkness.

Finally, it's quiet, no more Siam, no more anything. I will have to have a talk with Cummings tomorrow, he will pay for what he did, there's no way he didn't know Canaan would live here. Had Canaan not been so confused she might have tried to get a hold of me. Well, she did, in a way... It felt so good, better than it ever did, that kiss what not very sisterly at all... Had that continued any longer...

No, I won't allow anything like that to happen again, I was strong enough to resist her in such a situation, so I should be fine if we just fight. Yes, I did feel tempted, even if I don't want to, even if I resist it, there was a temptation. I don't want this to continue, I want... I want Canaan, more than anything, only her... I don't care about the governments or the money or anything else, but there is no way back to her...

This is... strange. My eyes suddenly feel so wet... these are... tears? I haven't cried in years, so why now...? Why!? I slam my fist into the wall next to me, but it just won't stop... It hurts, it hurts so much... I will concede this moment of weakness to myself, just this once... I almost wish she was here with me, holding me as she did in the bath, but I can't... we are so close, only several meters apart, yet worlds separate us...

No matter how much pain I feel, no matter how much I cry, there is no way back. That is the one thing I promised myself that day when I decided to kill Siam, I already knew a day like today would come if I lived long enough, a day when I would turn my back to the past and leave it all behind to be with Canaan again if I could... If I didn't destroy that possibility back then I wouldn't have left the bath today, I wouldn't have called it a dream...

Damn it all, why does it have to be like this, so painful... it feels even worse than shooting my own arm off, it feels even worse than awakening for the first time after a fall of about fifty metres into the water, with broken bones and an arm I had wanted to lose... it hurt even more when it was back there, connected to my body somehow, than it hurt when I shot it off, but even that can't compare to this feeling...

It feels like it's squeezing my chest with unbearable force, as if it was crushed by a heavy object... This moment of weakness, the accumulated pain of several years, all crushing down on me at once... I want to cry out for her, I want to hold her, but I can't, I just can't... I have to leave this place, back to the abandoned building I used to occupy for the last days, I have to escape from this place, otherwise the longing for her will only become even more painful...

I can't effort staying here either way, if she came back tomorrow I couldn't let her find me here, not broken like this, not at all... I have to get a hold of myself, otherwise I will just stay here and cry myself to sleep... I wipe away the remaining tears and walk out of the door, down the hallways and leave the hotel behind. It's so cold and dark, but that helps me, it calms me and numbs the pain...

If it gets any colder there will be snow, won't there? There never was snow where we came from, but I like it, somewhat. Ah, this weather, this darkness... It just feels like the perfect time to be depressed, the dark streets, the empty black sky... Oh? There is a stray dog close to me, it's barking a little weak... Hm, I think I have something with me... yes, some croissants in one of my pockets, so I might as well give it some of it, it looks really thin...

With this slightly grey-brown fur it almost looks a little bit like Canaan... hm, there's a piece of baguette as well, that would probably be better for him than croissants with chocolate... I break off a small piece and offer it to the dog. He does come over and wolfs it down out of my gloved hand as if it was the first meal he had in days... And another piece... Ah, I almost feel like a child again, though such relationships never ended happy in war zones...

I continue on my way towards the abandoned house I lived in for some days now, but the dog doesn't really seem to have any intention of leaving my side... He really is a lot like Canaan, isn't she? If he's even half as stubborn as she is I could probably kick and punch him and he'd still come back... Not that I have any intention of doing so. A little bit of company other than Siam's ghost would be a nice change, I guess...

He is rubbing his head a little bit against my leg, I guess he likes me, or he just wants some more baguette... Oh, here I am already, the old and run-down house I live in. The dog is still following me... Well, I guess I can let him stay if he wants to, it's not as if I'd own this place or something like that. Besides, his fur is probably pretty warm and the nights are pretty cold, so it wouldn't be too bad, we could keep each other warm.

"_What's your name?_" He doesn't really seem to understand the question, but which dog would, even in their native language and he couldn't answer either way... Maybe I can just give him a name? Hm, a nice name for a dog... The clouds are dispersing a little bit at the far end of the horizon and I can see a single star in the hole which closes mere moments afterwards... That would be a suitable name, I suppose... "Sirius?"

He looks at me quizzically for a moment and licks my fingers afterwards. I don't think that really counts as a reply of any sort... Well, I think I'll just stick with that name, it's also called the Dog Star, after all. I got my name the same way, I was just gazing at the stars and noticed a lonely and bright star, Alphard... I wouldn't call myself bright, but the way it was there, all alone in the black sky, far away from any other stars... and the meaning, solitary one and heart of the snake...

Well, enough about astronomy, I feel rather tired. I get into the building, it's almost completely black in here... Not that I would welcome any light, it's easier to remain hidden in the shadows and few would dare to come to such a place at night, for some reason. I rest my back against one of the cold walls and slide down moments later... that dog is still here, now it's even licking my face...

"Let me sleep, Sirius." He must be very bad at judging characters if he likes me... but it doesn't feel too bad, having someone close to me again, even if it is just a dog. A dog will never betray me or tell my secrets to anyone else, so there's no reason not to let him close. He can't follow me if I don't want him to either... now he's sitting right beside me and I put my coat over his back and pet his head a little bit, I can feel his tail wagging against my hip...

"Well, I guess I can't help it, we'll just have to sleep like this. At least it won't get too cold like this..." He seems to be pretty happy right now, it somehow feels good to have someone I can trust next to me... He might even warn me if someone comes here while I sleep, though I would probably notice it on my own. Well, at least he could probably lend me a shoulder, should I need it. Somehow that sounds pretty pathetic...

...

Author's note: Don't ask me, this was all Nyria's idea! Well, except for the dog, I just felt Alphard could use someone t cheer her up a little bit. It's probably a little bit weird, but it felt pretty heart-warming to me, for some reason...


	6. Final Preparations

**Canaan's POV**, the next morning

...

Ah, it's morning already... I stretch myself a little bit and yawn, it still seems to be rather early, the sun is just rising. I can't help but heaving a heavy sigh, I'm still so confused about what happened yesterday... Was that really just a dream or was Alphard just fooling me? How could I fall for such a trick? I mean, even if it was just a dream I would've lost nothing by trying to capture Alphard...

By not doing anything at all I lost that opportunity... Well, there wasn't very much I could've done in the first place, Alphard could have escaped either way, I had nothing to restrict her with and we were both... naked... What was I doing last night!? I must've been out of my mind, I shouldn't have done any of the things I did last night, I should've just talked with her instead and tried to find out more about her...

For example why she was there in the first place, what was she doing in the same hotel I use? I'll have to wait for another day now, I was so close again... so damn close... Well, sitting in my bed and crying about it won't get me anywhere, I will look into this some more, maybe I can find some hints. I throw back the blankets and get out of the bed. Now for some clothes... something simple would be the best for today's mission.

I quickly find blue jeans and a red t-shirt, these should do just fine. A bra and some panties as well, of course, though they hopefully won't see the light of day... And finally a green jacket I usually wear these days. I won't leave it open today either way, it's way too cold for my taste. Today I'm supposed to assassinate Kamik Nayar, a rather low leader of Snake. What are my options? I'll have to decide on a general cause of actions first...

Well, I could just kill him and his men and hide their bodies, if I'm careful it should last longer than two days. I could also sneak in, assassinate him and take his place while leaving his subordinates alive, but that would probably be too dangerous, I'm not a great actor and I know very little about him. I have to do it in secret, that much is obvious. But there is another thing I wanted to do before leaving.

I open the door of my room and close it behind me again, in the middle of it I see a number... 219!? I was in the wrong bathroom, the 9 is rather hard to identify as a 9... So I actually was in the wrong bathroom yesterday and the room I used was not mine at all, it belonged to Alphard? Well, maybe it really was just a dream, but I think I should check out room 210, just in case, though I doubt there's still anything left, even if she was there...

...

Here I am, after a little bit of searching... I hesitantly raise my hand and lightly knock on the door, but I can't hear anything from the other room. I use my synesthesia as well, but there really seems to be no one in there. I could break in somehow, but that most likely would just get me into trouble, Alphard wouldn't be careless enough to leave anything behind if she left. Next up is the bathroom, if I find it again...

...

This hotel is almost like a labyrinth... I was so sure I would find the stupid room within seconds, but it almost took me five minutes again... There are no maps and the rooms all seem to be thrown in at random, there is no obvious pattern to their numbers whatsoever... the door isn't locked, so I have no problem getting in. This really is the same as yesterday, I'm in the small locker room and next door is...

Yeah, the exact same bathroom, the same chessboard pattern on the floor, the same bathtub... the only thing different from yesterday is that there's no water in it and no Alphard... She almost looked like a supernatural being in it, her beauty is truly unmatched... The droplets of water on her dark skin, the bubbles barely covering her chest... I really shouldn't think about that, it just makes me feel weird...

I'm pretty sure now that yesterday wasn't just a dream, that would be the first dream I could make decisions in, in my usual dreams I just get thrown into the scene and all makes sense while it happens, but as soon as I wake up it makes no sense whatsoever. This was completely different, I walked in the room and undressed and suddenly everything stopped making sense, but it really seems to have happened...

That means... yesterday, with Alphard... That was the first kiss I ever gave to anyone, but why did I do something like that if I was conscious of my own actions!? Don't tell me... I didn't really want to believe it, but it seems that Yun Yun was actually right, last night I gave Alphard my first kiss, willingly... That's right, it was all my doing, Alphard didn't do anything to provoke my actions, I just barged into her bath and was all over her...

I should probably apologise to her, that wasn't very nice of me... What the hell am I thinking!? It's not as if that was her first kiss or anything, of that I'm pretty sure... Well, she never really told me about kissing someone or getting kissed by someone and I never saw her doing that, but she probably did... Maybe with that girl, Liang Qi? Somehow that thought makes me feel angry and sad, Alphard being with that psychopath...

No, that's probably not true, I never saw Alphard showing any affection for her whatsoever, she even shot Liang Qi while she was in that helicopter to save me... And Maria told me about her meeting with Alphard and Liang Qi, she said Alphard discarded Liang Qi back then. Unless their relationship was just a little game for Alphard there never was a relationship between them at all, except for their connection through Snake...

Somehow I can't picture Alphard as someone who'd have a relationship like that with anyone, not even for fun... If she had relationships with other humans, if she had friends or a lover she wouldn't have been a pure white on that train... I could almost understand her pain that day, I think it would've been unbearable for me to walk through my life without being able to think of someone I could return to, without someone who thinks fondly of me...

Even now Maria probably still thinks of me, I can almost feel it... She won't have to worry about me for much longer, tomorrow I will have my final showdown with Alphard and take her home afterwards~ That sounded way too happy in my head just now, taking Alphard home... Well, that's still what I will do, even if she tries to scratch me or bite me, I'll take her home, even if I have to carry her all the wayback to Japan...

That would probably be hilarious... no, actually that would be very painful, Alphard attacking me with all of her strength while I couldn't defend myself because I was carrying her... I guess convincing her to come with me is the only way, we'll have to make a plan to get home together, I can't do it all alone. Yeah, I didn't think about it in the bath, all I could think of was Alphard, but we still have to take care of the whole world hating her, I guess...

Well, she is officially dead at the moment, if it would stay that way there wouldn't be any problems, probably. Yet another circle I went through... Didn't we have all of that already? It's pointless to worry about all those things unless I can convince Alphard to come with me and have her think of some plan to save herself, any plan I could come up with would have more holes than a grater...

I should just focus on my mission for now. That person will stay at a different hotel in this town, probably with a lot of men guarding him... I should kill them without making any noise, that would just alarm them and they could contact their headquarters or something like that. I will take my knife and my trustworthy Beretta Px4, additionally a suppressor and subsonic ammunition, though I still rather wouldn't use it this time.

...

Here I am, in front of the hotel. It's pretty big and glamorous, a rather modern building with white walls. According to my information his room is on the fifth floor out of nine and he should have no more than three guards with him, so it should be quite possible to eliminate him and his guards without attracting unwanted attention. There are no other people on that floor at the moment, according to the report, so it shouldn't be a difficult task.

I walk into the hotel and take the stairs immediately, so far there are no problems. What does my synesthesia say? There is a lot of blue in this building... Well, according to my information there are other members of Snake unaffiliated with my target staying here as well, but they probably won't get in my way unless I get discovered. That certainly isn't part of my plan, so I should be fine if I'm careful.

...

Here I am, the fifth floor. In front of a room at the end of the hallway I can see two men, rather big and strong-looking. These must be his guards, a quick glance with my synesthesia confirms my assumption. Inside of the room are two more, my target must be one of them. Now what should I do? I look through the hallway, but there are no places to hide in... and the room I want to enter is on the other side of the hallway...

It would be stupid to try to sneak up on them like this and I don't want to use my Beretta, subsonic ammunition isn't as reliable as the usual one and I'm not used to using it. I guess I should go down one floor and see if there's another way up, it would be rather convenient to have a different initial situation.

...

I was lucky, there were some stairs in a different location, now I'm on the opposite side of the building. The room I want to get into is just around the corner, even more luck for me. I can just wait here for them to separate, they will have to sooner or later, a small break would be more than enough for me. If one of them wants to go to the toilet, for example...

They might be stronger than me when it comes to pure physical strength, but I'm probably a lot faster than they are. Besides, no matter how strong someone is doesn't matter if that person gets caught off-guard. Just like Siam back then, he didn't even have enough time to get a single shot at Alphard... But Alphard always was something special in that regard, she was faster, stronger and far more merciless than either of us...

Oh, and here is my chance... one of the men started moving and disappears in one of the rooms, probably a toilet or something like that. I sneak a little bit closer to the corner... I can hear the remaining person breathing now... and with one very fast and fluent movement I move around the corner and stab him, it went directly into the heart, through the ribs. This was perfect, if it goes on like this I will be done with this in two minutes.

Next up is the man that left, he's still in that room. I slowly open the door, it makes almost no sounds at all. I the room I quickly look for the man, he is standing at the window and smoking. Smoking can kill, but I don't really have the time for that to happen, so I will just help it a little bit... he doesn't notice me at all as I sneak up on him, I'm right behind him... and I ram my knife into his neck, he makes a gurgling sound as he slumps against the wall.

I pull out my knife, there is a lot of blood, he won't survive this for long, but I don't think he should have to suffer longer than he has to, so I stab him in the heart as well. I really don't want to be the person who will have to clean up this mess... There's blood all over the floor... I will have to give Natsume a call so her subordinates can take care of this, I really don't envy them for their tasks...

Now I will just have to take care of Kamik Nayar and his remaining guard, that shouldn't be much of a problem either. I shouldn't wait for them to make their first move, that could give them the time to figure out something is wrong. I should just get in there and overwhelm them, if I'm lucky I might be able to kill both of them before they can even pull their weapons or set off some sort of an alarm. Alright, gun in the right hand, knife in the left...

I don't waste any more time and slowly push down the handle of the door with the side of my right hand, I would just waste my element of surprise if the door was locked and I tried to open it carelessly. Hm, that doesn't seem to be the case, one last check with my synesthesia... Both of their backs are turned towards the door, they might not even notice me at all if I can stay quiet while sneaking through the room.

Or maybe not... the door made a pretty loud creaking noise as I pushed it open, now I have to hurry! While they still turn around I already jump over the desk between us and ram my knife into the throat of the larger one and shoot the smaller one in the head while doing so. The shot does generate a rather loud sound, but it's nothing anyone should be able to hear from any of the other floors.

I guess this was it, rather... underwhelming, I would almost say, this was hardly a challenge. Just a common job, they didn't even have the time to fight back. Those must've been the worst Snake has to offer. Well, I won't complain, it was my goal to assassinate this boy and his guards without getting noticed. All that's left to do is calling Natsume so she can order someone around to clean up this mess. I take my mobile phone out and type in her number...

"Natsume? I'm done here, my target was eliminated, there were no witnesses so far and there was almost no property damage except for the blood." All in all a very satisfying end to this mission, though I don't feel very comfortable with the whole thing, it wouldn't surprise me if Alphard wanted this to happen and played the information into Kodoku's hands, that would mean I just fulfilled a mission for Alphard...

"No explosions? I was expecting to see your work in the news by now, you seem to have made some progress since last year." Well, there was a lot of collateral damage in my past missions involving Snake, but that was rather their fault. Besides, those missions didn't have to be discreet, there was no need for it. Snake never really made it necessary, they didn't make any demands under Alphard's guidance...

"Of course not, there wasn't even something that could have exploded anywhere close by. Besides, I want to catch Alphard as much as you do." No, I want to catch Alphard even more than she does, even more than she ever will... I need to hear everything she has to say, I have to talk to her in person and figure out what her reasons are. Before I know anything about that I can't figure out what I want to do with her, or rather how I want to do it...

"You always find some way to draw attention to yourself. But I shouldn't tempt fate... My men will be there soon, you should leave, the sooner the better. And one more thing... I have no intention of capturing Alphard Alshua, all I want is her death. I hope we are in tune?" Well, I was already expecting that. I can't anticipate any help from that woman if I want to save Alphard somehow, if anything I can expect her to put my name next to Alphard's on her list...

"What do you expect?" It sounded like a sarcastic remark, that's not really a lie, I just asked her a question in return, if she takes that as affirmation it's her own fault. Somehow that's rather something I could imagine Alphard thinking, but she probably doesn't feel any need to justify her deceit, her conscience was always... well, pretty much non-existent, at least I haven't seen Alphard regretting something she as of yet...

"Very well. You are free to do what you want for the rest of the day, just don't meet that girl from yesterday again and don't attract any attention. I will meet you tomorrow, you should be done with any preparations until two in the afternoon." Well, I guess that was it for today, there is nothing left to do for me. I think I'll just leave the hotel, wander around for a little while and try to get my head to clear up.

...

Well, it is pretty cold and the air is very fresh, I ended up in a rather run-down part of this city, I guess. The houses look pretty uninviting and I wouldn't even want to live here if someone would pay me for doing that. The few people on the street covered in trash are either hurrying away from this place with disgust in their faces or just staring into some unknown distance with vacant eyes. If hopelessness had a home I think it would be pretty close to this place...

Somehow I feel drawn to one particular building, it looks as if no one took care of this place in years, the facade is crumbling and the windows appear to be broken for the most part. The front door is lying next to the doorframe, the whole building looks as if it could collapse in the next few months... What do I even want in a place like this? There should be nothing of interest here, yet I feel as if I should go here...

I should rather worry about looking for Alphard, she is much more likely to sit in a hotel looking like a palace close by. She does seem to have a rather high living standard for a terrorist... Well, I don't really know what Alphard is like at all, I almost know nothing about her private life or the places she lives in at the moment or in general, I wonder if she even has a place she thinks of as home or if she is just wandering from mission to mission...

Now that I think about, I don't know anything about Alphard at all from the day on when she killed Siam, or even a while before that... She never told me about her own hopes or wishes if she had such things, she always just patted my head and smiled at me with a bright smile instead of answering my questions, something I haven't seen on her face in years... She could be rather mean and cynical, even back then, but she was also my... big sister...

Oh? Apparently this place isn't as abandoned as it looks, there is a dog in the hallway, he is growling at me and not looking very friendly... this isn't a playful behaviour, he's probably defending his territory or something like that, at least he doesn't seem to be willing to let me enter... He is rather big with grey and rather dirty fur, he almost looks more like a wolf. I could still go on, but that would only result in a pointless fight with him.

"Hey, it's fine, I'm not here for any real reason, I'll just get going now..." I back away slowly and close the door. I guess I didn't really have any reason to go in there to begin with, it was just some sort of strange feeling... Whatever. I should return to my room in the hotel or something like that, it's pretty cold out here and I don't really want to catch a cold or something along those lines, it would be a real shame if I had to cancel my meeting with Alphard because of that...

...

**Alphard's POV**, abandoned apartment

...

This was... Canaan...? What is it with her as of lately? She met me more than once in these past few days because of mere coincidences? I find that hard to believe, if this dog hadn't convinced her to leave somehow she would've found me... I think I will reward him, he seems to be a reliable companion. Or maybe he was just returning the favour for the food yesterday? Or, the most likely explanation, I'm just reading too much into it...

"Sirius? Come here. You did great just now, let me pet you a little bit." He does come over, almost as if he could understand me. Well, I think he can understand me. Of course not the actual words I say, they aren't even in his native language, but he understands the tone I give my voice. He understands the intention and comes over, wagging his bushy tail around as I pet him a little bit.

"You know, it isn't too bad to have you around, at least I won't have to worry about you trying to sell me out or anything like that. If you were human I would recruit you for sure." Talking with a dog? Well, I suppose that's still rather sane when compared to talking to the illusion of Siam... I wonder if the dog would be saddened if I wasn't here anymore, if he even cared about me or just about the food I gave him...

"Hm, you will have to take care of yourself again from tomorrow onwards, all alone on the cold road again. I don't envy you for that, but there's little I can do about that, I will go there before you, of that I'm pretty sure." He just nestles up to me and pushes his head against my arm, as if demanding for me to continue petting him. Heh, this dog has quite some guts, coming up to the leader of Snake and demanding something...

Not that he knew that. Even if he did he wouldn't understand the meaning of it, politics have little meaning for dogs if any, I suppose. They're concerned about being happy and making their pack happy if they can, such a simple life... Maybe he thinks of me as the alpha of his pack? Or does he think he's in charge? I think that would be pretty amusing as well, a dog thinking he could order me around...

"You're pretty amusing, you know? Just following me to my lair as if it was your new home, demanding things and acting as if you'd own the place... Well, I don't mind." At least he goes outside whenever he has to, if he'd just use this place as a toilet I would kick him out without thinking twice about it. I think I should go and meet Cummings, I still have to settle and outstanding score with him for yesterday.

"I'll leave soon, you should just stay here. Not that you'd understand me." I walk out of the door and am about to close it, but he darts out before I can and seems to want to accompany me... Well, I can't tell him what he should do or what he shouldn't do, he's a free dog and this town isn't my property. I could chase him away, but I just don't feel like doing it, he can accompany me for a little while, this is the last bit of time I have, after all...

At least someone there to bear my company, even if it's just for a little while, that's already a good feeling. Someone to talk to, I can just drop my guard around him and sleep if I want to, without having to worry about anyone trying to kill me. Well, both Snake and Natsume still want to kill me, but I have someone I can rely on for now. It's probably rather foolish to trust a dog I just met this much, but he seems to be a loyal fellow.

He warns me about intruders and watches over me while I sleep, I just give him some food and pretend to give him affection. Well, I guess it's a fair deal, sleeping in peace for some food and stroking a dog is a rather good trade. Of course I still have to be careful, but his hearing is far superior to mine, just like his nose. He wouldn't be able to fight off a group of soldiers, but he could warn me about them and I'm capable of doing that.

Canaan would be a different story, she would mean some real trouble, I did make some progress with my training, but I'm not sure if it would be enough to ward her off. Well, I won't have to worry about that either, she will kill me tomorrow. Isn't that great? I won't have to worry about anything anymore, no organisations to take care of, no financial matters, no Siam... Just sweet oblivion...

Still no reason to get careless, I won't die until then. I will push on, no matter what will stand between myself and Canaan, I will crush my enemies and allies alike before I depart from this world. Not that I would call these thugs who disgrace the name of my organisation as allies, they are just worthless idiots, thinking I was no longer around... I won't be around much longer, but I will teach them one last lesson...

After that Snake will be done, they won't have the resources to be a real threat and their internal disputes will leave them even more vulnerable to attacks from the outside. Without my leadership they will crumble apart and become small and meaningless groups, they won't be able to unite under one leader anymore. Unless I was to survive my encounter with Canaan for some sick twist of fate Snake will vanish with me.

I wonder what Cummings and Liang Qi will do then? They still would have the resources to do something, but Liang Qi is far too psychotic to lead an organisation and Cummings just isn't a leader, he is a business man. I just hope he'll keep his oath and protect Canaan somehow, Liang Qi will most likely be in a critical condition if I was to die... Well, Canaan could still kill her if she had to, Liang Qi is nothing compared to me...

Now the dog is whimpering, I guess he wants attention... Well, it's just one more day, so I can give him some more 'affection'. I don't really feel very much for him, but he does remind me a little bit of Canaan, the way he curiously looks at the world and plays around, even if his circumstances aren't that great. Also the way he just follows me around and looks up to me, that brings back some rather nice memories...

Despite everything I have to admit that I was the happiest when I was still with Canaan, her 'older sister'. She admired and tried to outdo me in order to impress Siam and me... She usually failed and I had to comfort her afterwards, but it was still somewhat heart-warming and cute, the way she tried to do her best... Yes, those days weren't all that bad, but Canaan would have become just as anti-social as I if she had continued her training with Siam...

Now she has friends and even a home, things I never had and will never have. Well, I guess I could call Sirius a friend and that run-down apartment a home, but that wouldn't be truthful. I don't care for him that much and even if I'd survive my next fight with Canaan for some strange reason I wouldn't stay here. I will leave him either way, we just bear with each other for a little while, that's all...

Enough of that, I seem to find myself thinking about pointless things far too often as of lately. I should just stop thinking and feeling altogether, the same way I did before. My objective is clear and within my grasp, this time I won't let my emotions surface at such a critical moment, this time there will be nothing left to disturb me. I will just talk with her after she takes care of the current 'leaders' and afterwards I will provoke her until she kills me...

...

Here we are. This dog seriously followed me all the way to Cummings' office. Well, he can come in, I suppose, it's not as if Cummings would have any say in this, it is my office. I don't really care if a dog with dirty paws walks in it, the cleaning service will take care of that either way. I raise my hand to ring the bell, but the door opens before I can push the button. I just hope it isn't Liang Qi, she should be in another country by now...

"Miss Alphard, I was waiting for you. Please, come in." Cummings in person? Hm, it is Sunday evening, so he might have a little bit of free time, though the business world doesn't exactly care for such formalities. That should mean it's something serious or it's just a coincidence, though I hope for the latter. I don't want any further complications, everything has to go according to my plan...

"Very well. Your report?" I follow him into the same meeting room again where he sits down, Sirius walking in right behind me. I guess Cummings didn't notice him so far, he is rather calm and doesn't make too much of a mess on the floor. This room is really an insult to my eyes, all this green here almost makes me feel sick... I can't understand how anyone would choose this kind of decoration. Maybe it has something to do with his masochism...

"There were no major changes since yesterday, all of your targets have arrived in different hotels in the close proximity and Miss Liang Qi is on her way to her own targets, currently investigating the activities of possible threats to the organisation in Botswana." Well, that should be far enough to prevent any sort of interference on her part, though Cummings will have to find a way to calm her down once I die. Well, that's his problem.

"Very well. What about the activity within this town and surroundings?" There is probably quite a lot going on, Natsume will do everything she can in order to destroy me and Snake and the current leaders will also see this as their chance to become the absolute leader of the organisation. That title is mine alone, no one else will ever wield it. I will rather see the organisation going down than seeing it in the hands of those pigs.

"So far everything is under control, we are currently monitoring the movements of the forces of the other leaders and the Defense Intelligence Headquarters stay out of it, they probably expect Canaan and Natsume to kill you." Hm, I suppose they don't want to risk an international conflict by sending troops here. Besides, it would be in their best interest to keep this matter as secretive as possible, if I was captured alive I could still ruin them...

"I don't trust this situation, it seems to go a little bit too well so far, I would like you to remain very cautious. It may be overcautious, but it's better to be prepared for any situation, so try to keep out an eye for the French military as well, if you can." It's rather unlikely that Natsume would ask them or anyone else for help, but I don't want any risks. Of course there will be many risks and everything could go wrong, but those risks must be minimised.

"Of course, Miss Alphard. I will establish contact with our connections and try to find out if there were any uncommon activities in the army. Of course we will warn you in advance if we can't guarantee the safety of you or Canaan." Well, I don't really care for my own safety, but Cummings seems to have a different opinion of that. Well, this way I will be safe until Canaan kills me. "By the way, why is this dog here?"

"Oh, he? I don't really know why, but he has been following me since I fed him yesterday. He's pretty useful and makes for a good watchdog. And there is something else I would like to discuss with you today..." That's right, I still have to reprimand Cummings for his previous actions, I can't let him get away with that. Putting me in such an embarrassing situation with Canaan, though that part wasn't exactly his fault...

"I think I know what this is about, please let me explain myself first. I think you are talking about the hotel, aren't you? It appears as if they changed their hotel in the last second, we were careless and didn't monitor their movements at that time." This incompetence... I should think of some sort of punishment, but that will have to wait until I return... well, since I won't return it doesn't matter, does it?

"I should break your arm for this negligence, but you will need it for tomorrow. Is the rest of your information that incomplete as well?" There is no anger in my voice or anywhere else, just coldness. If I didn't need him for now I would break his arm in a slow and very painful manner... Incompetence is one of the things I despise the most, closely followed by negligence... Well, I won't have to worry about it for much longer.

"Well, you may break my arm upon your return if you feel the need to. I won't disappoint you any more, the individual responsible for monitoring Canaan and Natsume was replaced already." It should probably make me worry that the one person who should've watched the most important component of my plot was so careless, but I don't really care about such things so much anymore, I'm tired of it all...

"You just won't give up about that, will you? My decision was made years ago and you most certainly will not change it, nor will anyone else." Even if the whole world was shouting for me to stop, I cannot. It is the same as a snowball rolling down a great hill, it can't be stopped if it rolled long enough. Even the one who started it would be buried under the masses gathering around that once small and frail snowball.

"Well, I know that I cannot change your opinion and anyone else couldn't do that either, I know. However, that person, Canaan, she is hardly anyone, she is a very special person to you, isn't she?" Well, I suppose so, Canaan still has the most meaning for me, I value her more than my own life and I will die for her... however, even she won't be able to stop this avalanche which kept rolling for years.

"If you say so... I will stay here for tonight, you should have some free room, right?" I don't need much, but I want to take another shower today, I don't want to get there with a dirty and torn coat smelling like some homeless person... And if there isn't any room for me here I will just kick Cummings out of his room, it's his fault I can't stay in the hotel I wanted to stay in to start with.

"I suppose you can sleep in the room of Miss Liang Qi, for the time being. I'm sure she won't mind." 'She won't mind'? She'll probably jump around in circles and throw herself into it. Then she will say something like 'I don't ever want to sleep in any other bed!', make sure she's all alone and does whatever she does when something like that happens, I don't think I want to know exactly what that is.

"Very well, show me this room." Cummings stands up from his chair and walks into the hallway as Sirius and I follow him. Well, I suppose he will need a shower as well, he smells pretty horrible, maybe he was looking through some trash for food before I gave him something. I didn't really notice it before, but there are many stains on his fur and some things I can't identify as well...

"Thank you for your help, this should be all. Remember your oath and abide by it, other than that you can do whatever you want with the company and Liang Qi. Take care of her or something like that." Well, he won't be able to do much with Liang Qi, she always was in charge of their relationship, if I can call it that. Hm, she'll probably be in a state of shock if I die, but that isn't my problem.

"That is a very generous present, Daedaera Cooperation is worth more than a fortune, even if it has a different name now." Well, of course it has a different front now, but it has the resources Daedaera Cooperation had and has multiplied them. Well, that's hardly a surprise, the demand for security services and armament manufacturers has increased quite a lot since our capture of the International Anti-Terrorism Conference.

"You made this company what it is today, I just gave you a small nudge in the right direction. Just don't let it become like those other worthless companies all over the globe, make it something you and I can both be proud of." Well, I won't be there to be proud of it or not, but I hope it won't become something we fought against for all our lives. Not that it really makes a difference, in the end it's all meaningless.

"I can only repeat what I said yesterday, it was an honour to serve you. Though I am quite sure you will live I will do my best to carry on your legacy and do my best to achieve your goals in your stead if you don't." He is a good servant, but I don't think he'd be a good leader, not to mention Liang Qi... without me this whole organisation will probably collapse, but I don't care... we killed some supposedly rich and influential persons, but it didn't change much so far...

"Whatever. Bring us some food later on." I walk past him and close the door behind me, Sirius next to me. I turn on the lights and I'm not exactly pleased with what I see here, a myriad of pictures staring back at me... all photographs of me taken at some point in time or another. Well, if she likes this kind of decoration it's her personal choice, I think it's rather creepy, especially the fact that she managed to take some of the pictures without me noticing...

I turn the light off again, this is rather unpleasant. They aren't exactly indecent, but there were some which looked rather questionable to me and I don't really want to know any more about this than I have to. There's still enough light coming in from the streets outside to see the outlines of things, just not enough to see the details of these pictures. What should I do now? Well, a shower would be perfect for me and this dog...

"Come with me, Sirius. You really need a shower." He looks at me and it's obvious he doesn't understand what's going on. Well, he is a dog, so what else would I be expecting? I just hope he doesn't dislike water too much, otherwise this will be a very unpleasant experience for both of us... a cat would be even worth, dogs are surprisingly calm about such things and they aren't as agile as cats are.

Hm, there is another door in this room, I guess this is the shower. I fumble around in the dark and find the switch for the light a moment later, this is indeed the bathroom with a nice bathtub in the middle. I guess I'll have another bath instead of a shower, I couldn't really relax yesterday with Canaan so close to me. Well, today I will have to take care of Sirius as well, but after that I can relax a little bit.

"Come in here, Sirius." The bathtub isn't quite as big as the one from yesterday, but it's still far bigger than what one person would need. What a waste of water and heating costs... Well, I guess Cummings has more than enough money to pay for those bills. Sirius is giving me another quizzical look as I tap the surface of it. I just hope he won't snap as soon as the water starts coming out of it...

"Here, come to me." He seems to understand it now that I go in first, he makes a small jump over the edge and is looking at me, still confused as I take the shower head into my hand... If he won't keep still and let me clean him he'll have to sleep in the hallway or something like that, I won't tolerate his stench and his unpleasant looks for much longer.


	7. Emotional Rollercoaster

**Canaan's POV**, her apartment, 1 p.m.

...

Now it's almost time... I already have everything I need, my weapons, my costume... I hate that damn thing, but there is no way around it, I guess... A suit I would rather expect on a business meeting and a mask which looks rather Indian, probably a depiction of some sort of sort of demon or god or whatever. It looks rather silly, but it will have to do, I will play by her silly rules just once more.

Though I'm still not sure what I should do with Natsume, if I want to have a talk with Alphard I have to stun her or kill her... Well, I rather wouldn't kill her, if I did I could just join Alphard as a terrorist... Though I don't even know if she will survive the fight that will break out. I almost feel bad for thinking this, but I wouldn't be very sad if she was to die, I never really liked her and she is probably at least as bad as Alphard, if not worse...

I can almost understand those who join Alphard, the governments might pretend to be better than the terrorists, yet they work together with them in the blink of an eye if no one watches them, that's really low... and later on they all meet at some conference and preach about 'love and peace', that's the kind of people they are... At least Alphard doesn't pretend to be good or anything like that, though I don't know her intentions either...

Hm, no reason to worry about that for now, I can just ask her later on and find out for myself, after that I have to make a decision... Alphard or Natsume. If I decide to help Natsume Alphard would die unless she defeated me, so that is out of the question. If I join Alphard I will probably become a terrorist myself and that will be that, no way I could go to Japan with Alphard and visit Maria... Oh, someone rang the bell, I should get it...

"I see you are already prepared, we should go now. Half an hour remains, but I would much rather get there before it starts to check out the room. We have no information about it, the place was guarded at all times and it was most likely rearranged during this time period." Well, I don't really care for that, I won't have much trouble with this either way, these leaders probably aren't leaders because they are good with weapons...

"Doesn't really matter, does it? I will kill all of them either way, I can do that, even without coverage. They are most likely weaker than Alphard, so they shouldn't mean any trouble for me whatsoever." Especially not if I use my synesthesia as well, they won't be able to hit me even once and I wouldn't really mind if Natsume had a small accident... Damn, now I almost sound like Alphard in my thoughts...

"You shouldn't overestimate yourself, you did become stronger, but even so that woman could have prepared some unpleasant surprises for any intruders. And I can't dodge bullets that well, so I rather would have some coverage." I guess that makes sense, though I don't think Alphard has any traps prepared for us, though that could be possible as well if she lured me there... But I believe in her, as strange as that may sound.

"Yeah, yeah. Why do you come with me to begin with if you could get yourself killed? You would just send in your henchman to take care of the dirty work if you could help it, as you always did." She usually didn't dirty her own hands and rather send me or someone else to do it, her coming with me probably means she doesn't trust me to do the job or Alphard is such an important target for her that she would do anything to get her...

"If you want something done right you have to do it yourself." Well, someone who always leaves the dirty work to others should know that best, right? Arguing with her is pointless, these are the last few minutes we will remain as allies either way, once we meet Alphard I will have to neutralise her, one way or another. So that there's even a chance for a 'happy ending', though that is rather unlikely to begin with.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just go already." I follow her, out of the hotel and into a black car... yeah, that really couldn't possibly attract any attention, could it? Come to think of it, why doesn't Natsume have to wear some silly costume? She only has a mask on and a very simple blue dress. Hm, she probably knows what she's doing, I don't think Alphard will just run away as soon as she sees us either way, she's probably expecting us already...

...

Well, here we are, right in front of the room... I guess I'm lucky for having Natsume along, I forgot to take the invitation from that guy and without it I wouldn't have gotten in here, her men found it while cleaning up the mess. The whole place if full of guards, they don't seem to be bad at their job either, most of them are hidden and without my synesthesia I wouldn't have noticed them either.

They don't appear to have any weapons with them, but they most likely have a lot of concealed equipment with them, the way they are dressed now makes them look like normal doorkeepers. Well, anything else would probably attract unwanted attention to this meeting, officially it's just a meeting of rather eccentric businessmen. Most of those present wear suits or dresses, all rather elegant.

"Your invitations, please." Their manners also don't betray them as terrorists, they are rather polite and have a pleasant smile, though that's just for show, I could see the blue of hatred in them... We just show them our invitations for a moment and they nod, opening the great door to the dance hall, I guess. Yes, this must be it... it's rather spacious, more than enough for hundred people to fit in, probably.

At first glance I would say with us there are twenty in total already, though that seems a little bit too much for so few people... That whole room is in white with some decorations, it has the shape of a dome. The only thing really standing out is a black screen on the opposite site of the hall, it has to be a couple of metres in height and length... And some headlights... Maybe this means Alphard won't come here herself after all...?

"Mr. Nayak. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person, it really is a shame we couldn't arrange a meeting any sooner, isn't it? My name is Kodoku Himura, I suppose you remember me?" Wow, he noticed who I was right away... He comes up to me and shakes my hand, his clothes are indeed a purple trench coat, it looks a lot like the one Alphard was always wearing since she joined Snake...

"Oh, yes, it's nice to meet you." It is rather perplexing to be called by a name other than your own, I was caught off guard by that completely... but I have to accept that name for now and respond to it, otherwise I could hardly pass as that person right now. Of course Kodoku already seems to know that I'm Canaan, but it would still be somewhat suspicious if he called me by my supposed name and I didn't respond... He moves a little bit closer to me.

"Acting really isn't your thing, is it? Well, if you stay rather quiet everything should be fine." He whispers it into my ear so no one else can hear it. Somehow he really looks familiar, especially with this coat... it's almost the same as the one Alphard used to wear back then, though he has it closed. Alphard just seemed to love baring her midriff for some reason I don't quiet understand, though I have to admit that it looked very good on her...

"Do I know you without your mask, by any chance?" He doesn't seem to be fazed by this, but I'm pretty sure that I know him, his voice also doesn't sound right, almost as if it was disguised as well. It sounds manly, but it doesn't sound like his, though that's probably just me. I almost feel tempted to use my synesthesia to see his colours, that could give me some more knowledge about who he is, but I don't think I should do that, at least not for now.

"Well, the world is a pretty big place and I get around quite a lot because of my work, so it wouldn't surprise me if you knew me. Besides, you should know a lot of terrorists, shouldn't you?" I guess I saw quite some terrorists during my search for Alphard, but I never really knew any of them long enough to recognise their appearance or voice, barely any terrorist ever got away with his life after an encounter with me...

"I don't think I know you as a terrorist, but that can wait until this is over, I guess." Not that it really matters that much, but I would still like to know it, just out of curiosity, probably. It just bothers me a little bit that I could almost put my finger on it, but it always escapes me right before I can say it. Well, as soon as I'm done with all of this it will be alright, this whole terrorism stuff will be over and maybe he can come back to Japan with us...

"Indeed, I will take off the mask and let you see for yourself who I am once this masked ball is over. I didn't see Alphard so far, but I guess she would wait until the last moment to make her appearance either way, don't you agree?" Well, Alphard always was that kind of person, she had everything timed out perfectly, especially when she should make her appearance or leave the scene, as if everything was just part of her plan.

"Yeah, she wouldn't risk getting caught before that, she definitely won't show herself until the end of this. What do you think, do I have a chance to stop her terrorist career?" That makes him hesitate for a moment, almost as if he wasn't expecting this kind of a question, but a moment later he starts laughing...

"Hahaha, that is one of the best jokes I've heard in years, I think. The only thing stopping her from being a terrorist would be a bullet or something else that would kill her, other than that you have no chance whatsoever, I'm pretty sure of that." Well, he wouldn't know Alphard all that well either way, would he? He's just someone she recruited some years ago, I guess, so he can hardly call himself anything more than her acquaintance. "Didn't you come to do that either way?"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, maybe there is some other solution, something that doesn't involve killing her. I won't kill her, of that much I'm sure, I will make her turn away from terrorism if I can. I want her back, no matter what the cost will be, she is one of the most important persons in my life..." Oh, I just blurted all of that out without even thinking about it, I'm lucky that I stayed quiet...

"Uh... That was... Well, I don't think Alphard would be too pleased to hear something like that, she always seemed to think such things as feelings only get in the way. Besides, how come you think of her that way? I mean, she is a very efficient leader and excellent at most of the things she does, but she isn't really the kind of person anyone other than terrorists should like..." That's kind of true, I guess, but...

"I knew her for a very long time, even before she was a terrorist or anything like that, she wasn't born as a terrorist. She was always kind of distant and she didn't seem like a very likeable person either, but she was always there for me back then, no matter what." That's right, she probably saved me as often as Siam did. No, actually more often, she saved my life a couple of times back then and at least five times while being with Snake...

"Well, I'd hate it to break it to you, but whatever person Alphard once was is probably long dead now, if anything she's a monster, you know?" I know... I know all too well that might be true, but at that time on the train she definitely wasn't a monster, she was just so lonely... I have to find her, I don't want her to continue suffering like that, all alone in the world with nothing but enemies, no matter where she turns...

"Well, we will see that for ourselves once she arrives, won't we? It would be pretty pointless to speculate about that until we meet her anyways since it would just be speculation and nothing else." I've had enough of walking around in circles, I want some answers and I will get them today, no matter what anyone or anything else might want to happen. Today I will meet Alphard and settle this, afterwards we can just go home...

"You're right about that, though I think I will be right in the end. Well, that can wait for a while, it's almost time to dance." I can literally hear the grin under his mask, though that mask is also grinning at me... It looks like something from Japan, some kind of an 'oni', I think. I don't really know anything about Japanese mythology and so on, so I can't really tell what that's supposed to mean, but whatever...

"Ugh... I hate that part of the whole thing, I really wish I could skip the stupid dance..." Seriously, Alphard must have a very twisted sense of humour, not that that would be anything new to me... Well, I shouldn't tempt my luck, I'm pretty sure that things will just turn from bad to worse if I do, as always... A dance isn't too bad, it's just some dancing, after all, nothing really hard. Besides, that's probably still a lot better than acting on a political meeting...

"Well, you promised me one dance, if my memory doesn't betray me. I don't think it will be too long either way, Alphard will probably intervene rather soon and show that scum all around us it's rightful place." The room has been filling gradually, though there are just 28 persons in total now, I guess not all of them were too happy to meet Alphard in person. Suddenly the great monitor is turned on and shows Alphard...

"Welcome, all of you, I am rather glad to see so many of you chose to come, it almost saddens me to see not all of you could make it. Well, actually it doesn't matter. We have prepared a little banquet for those of you who are here." The great door swings open and one of the guards brings in a rather big cart with some dishes, though there is a lid on each of them, as well as some bottles with some very red wine.

"I think it is rather fitting for you, help yourselves, there is much more than any of you could ever want." One of the rather fat persons goes first, he does look as if he would be full of anticipation, but suddenly he drops it again and runs towards the door, screaming curses in some language I don't know. The lid falls to the ground and reveals a very... disgusting sight, in my opinion. On the plate is the head of a rather old man with a long and white beard...

"Oh? I thought it was rather fitting to present you your own 'friends', they were preparing a little ambush for all of you. Besides, I know as a matter of fact that all of you would kill each other for some money or other personal gains either way. Let me take a look at this little list I prepared for you." She takes out a rather big scroll and grins to all of us, apparently everything went the way she wanted things to go, there seems to be a general panic in the room by now...

"Let me read it out for you, those are some very interesting things. Where should I start... Well, since we are in France I think one of our local guests should be the first, let me introduce him to all of you. This is Francis Jandreau, he has cheated all of you. Let me tell you some things about him..." Suddenly the lights turn off and the headlights focus on a single man in the croud, he looks very perplexed as Alphard starts reading out many crimes he apparently committed against the rest...

"Oh, a rèsume would be rather helpful wouldn't it? Let me spell it out for those of you who aren't very good with maths. This man has cost the organisation around two billion euros, that would be around three billion dollars. But that was just the first one on this list, let me continue..." She lists some more names until there is suddenly the first shot, afterwards it begins... The lights are still turned off and there is a general panic as even the screen turns black...

Well, I have no trouble seeing with my synesthesia, there is a great mixture of blue and green in the room, hatred and fear... Most of them seem to have guns on them, there are bullets flying in almost every direction, but it is rather easy for me to dodge and shoot... Most of them don't even seem to aim for any specific person anymore, they are just shooting around blindly in the hopes of killing everyone else, I guess...

One after another I kill them, shot after shot... Once more I evade one of the stray bullets and shoot, but I can see something else in the middle of this whole panic... Just one person is there with a brown colour in the middle of all this blue and green, that must be her... From what I can tell she is shooting the others as well, though I'm not sure how she can see in this darkness. Well, once all of this is taken care of I will face her...

This really is pure chaos for everyone else, there are screams of agony and anger, but one after the other we silence them all... This must be a horrible massacre, I really don't want to be the one who will have to clean this up in the end... Persons of all kinds of nationalities and ages are here, dying by the hands of Alphard and myself... Well, I guess they deserve it, Alphard read out many crimes worthy of the death penalty, the financial crimes didn't bother me that much...

I heave a heavy sigh as it seems to be over, only Natsume, Alphard and myself seem to be alive now... Damn, I wasn't able to look out for Kodoku at all, he was probably caught up in the crossfire, there is no way he survived that... The lights turn on after a few seconds and there is Natsume and... Kodoku!? Why does he have the same colour as Siam and Alphard? If this is how it is Alphard isn't here, I was set up...

"Well, well, you did any excellent job for me, didn't you, Canaan?" Suddenly there is another shot and Natsume is stumbling backwards and she falls, there is some kind of a syringe in her upper right arm... and that voice... The person I thought to be Kodoku takes off 'his' mask and reveals a very familiar face and grin to me, it was Alphard all along! She just claps her hands, as if to applaud me... "You really did a wonderful job here, you saved me a lot of work..."

"Alphard... Finally we meet again, I won't let you escape this time!" Now I have the opportunity to do whatever it is I want to do, though I'm still not sure what that is... I aim at her, but I'm not really sure what to do now... it feels the same way it did back then and my instincts are telling me to run or kill her, but I can't do either of these things... I just stand in my place and aim at her, waiting for her to make her next move...

…

**Alphard's POV,** directly after Canaan's last thoughts

…

"Haha, if you could stop me you would have done so years ago, wouldn't you? Yet here you are again, screaming like a defeated animal before the fight has even started... I would hurry if I were you and do whatever you came to do, your dear 'friend' Natsume Yuri has few hours left until the virus will destroy her..." Well, it isn't the Ua virus, it's just a nacrotic agent, but Canaan doesn't know that...

"I... I don't even care about that, but please come back with me..." Seriously, this girl must be stupid or something like that, I rather shot off my own arm than returning with her and I almost killed her friends more than once... I walk up to her and still grin at her, this should be a very provocative gesture towards her... "Please, come back with me, to my home... Maria is there waiting for us, both of us..."

"You really don't get it, do you? I won't go there with you, though I might send them your head if you beg for that..." I have to make myself as horrible to her as I can, but that shouldn't be a very difficult task for me. I just have to play this role for a little while longer, once I have completed this last task I can drop it all... "Besides, there is no home for you anymore, Maria is dead. I have killed her, you know?"

"You didn't, Yun Yun saved her. I would think your information would be more up to date than this." Well, that much is true, though I never really had any plan to kill Maria, I even left that other girl, Yun Yun, with her in order to give her a chance. All I wanted was Canaan using her full potential against me and killing Maria seems to be necessary in order to get her serious. Last time she saw through my bluff, but I have made better preparations this time...

"Of course I didn't talk about that, I went out of my way to invite her to our little party here. Why don't you take a look under the other lids?" It is amazing what some makeup can do, the head of this former 'leader' of Snake looks almost the same as Maria, even her synesthesia won't help her to tell the difference, the dead have no colours. She looks so shocked, I think it worked this time... "Is that a way to greet your old friend, Canaan? I don't think gaping at her with your mouth open counts..."

"W-What...? You... you didn't... you didn't do that, right?" Well, I didn't really do it, but she won't know that until she establishes contact with her friend. I take a glass from the cart and pour in some of the wine, though it looks a lot more like blood. Well, that was my intention in the first place, though the heads are quite real and rather fresh. Well, they had it coming, all three of them. Well, they will remember the pain I inflicted on them even in hell or their next life or whatever there might be.

"Don't you want some? I have to admit that her blood has a certain sweet note to it, almost as if it would reflect her personality. Want some?" I offer her the glass and grin as a psychopath in some B-movie would, this way it will be much easier for her to kill me, she will just think I finally snapped or something like that. She tries to beat it out of my hand, but I pull it back and take another sip of it, letting some of it flow down my cheek...

"This isn't real... This isn't real!" It seems to work so far, right now she appears to be in complete denial of the situation we seem to be in... Well, I shouldn't stop here, I went through the trouble of having someone to edit a video just so it would appear as if that idiot I killed really was Maria, to make sure it would work. This should be the last droplet it will take to make her kill me, even she has her limits...

"Oh, it certainly is. You know, I prepared a wonderful memento, just for you and me. Why don't we take a look at it, together?" I use the remote control I brought with me to change the video, this time it shows a dimly lit room with me and Maria, or rather another one of these 'leaders'. Well, that problem is taken care of now. It shows some very realistic torture scenes, maybe because the scenes themselves are real, just the audio and the face were edited...

"..." Now she walks towards me, her head cast down, as the screams of her best friend fill the room. I still had some audio of her from last year, I think it could sound better, but the editor assured me this would be the best thing he could do. Well, it seems to work so far, Canaan is coming even closer now, in a second I should feel pain, a whole lot of pain... I wonder, will she stab me or shoot me? Maybe she wants to torture me to death?

"W-What...? This wasn't..." What did she just...? She stopped right in front of me and leaned up to me, but she doesn't look angry or desperate, she has a bright smile as she licks my cheek... Has she snapped or something?

"Alphard, I was expecting more from you. Oh, and the wine really is quite sweet, thank you." She just takes the glass from my hand and takes a gulp of the red liquid, I feel completely dumbfounded. How could she tell this was just a trick I pulled on her? I made sure to do my best to... "The smell. I could smell the wine. I wouldn't have believed you either way. And you don't even have to try to deny it, the look on your face spoke volumes..."

"Heh, I guess you got me good this time. But that doesn't change our situation at all, you know? I will just kill you, right here, right now." I take my knife out in a very fast motion and push her to the ground, but she doesn't react at all, the glass falls out of her hand, lands on the ground and shatters into many small pieces, the red liquid spreading below her, but she doesn't even seem to think she is in danger...

"Do it." … What? I push the knife harder against her throat, it is cutting through the skin ever so slightly, but she still doesn't react at all. What is wrong with her!? She should kick me or punch me, she should try to kill me... What is going one here? "You know, I was really reckless back then, I always just rushed in and tried to kill you for what you did for Siam, but I never took the time to think about why you never killed me. You won't, isn't that right?"

"..." I still sit on top of her, I have a good grip on her and could easily kill her, but that would defy the whole purpose of everything I have done so far...She could get out of this just as fast, I don't even hold down her arms, though I have her legs straddled with my own she could still free herself without any problems. How could my plan fail like this...? I was sure she would overlook any flaws in it because of the rage she would feel... "What do you want to do know...?"

"I will take that as a yes. So I was right, you were doing everything you did for my sake, isn't that right? You always guided me towards yourself so I could kill you, didn't you? Why!?" Now she is moving, I roll over and the next second she is leaning over me... I really messed this plan up, didn't I? Canaan has grown so much since I last saw her, she never stopped to think things through back then... "Answer me already..."

"What should I say? You have it all figured out, don't you? You're right, so let me ask you one last time. Would you kill me? I'm tired of this life and everything in it, I just want it to end... Please, Canaan, do it..." Now there is something warm dropping down onto my face. Those are... tears? Why would she cry for someone like me? I caused her so much pain, I took away her beloved Siam... Yet here she is, crying over me...?

"Alphard, I told you way back then on the train, don't you remember? Quit dying already!" It must be the virus speaking through her. Yes, she was somehow infected with 'love'. That's right, I have one last chance to get what I want... I will just use the virus against her.

"I never listened to you. Why would I listen to you either way? You're just a child, now as much as then. Why do you think Siam chose me over you? Why do you think he visited my room at night and not yours?" Now she is the one looking dumbfounded, I think I just hit a weak point... "Don't you remember? He often came to my room at night. It was because he saw me as a woman, not some child. He wasn't half bad, you know?"

"Stop... Stop it! **STOP IT!**" Well, now I got her. She is screaming with a mixture of anger and despair... I didn't want to hurt her, but she didn't give me much of a choice, did she? Had she just killed me after my first performance I wouldn't have had to go this far, though all of it is just lies either way. Siam was interested and he did come to my room at night, but I never let him do as he'd have liked. He never got that idea about Canaan, he knew what would've happened if he tried something...

"You know, the irony was so wonderful... Seeing the man I lay with die below me as you cried... Well, he wasn't much of a loss, Cummings and Liang Qi were better at it than him either way. Most of the members of Snake were better, I knew quite a lot of them that way." According to my research on that topic Canaan should categorise me as a 'slut' now, that should make her very angry. "So, why did you come if it's not to kill me? Do you want me that way as well?"

"Alphard! How could you... How could you!?" She slaps me in the face, but I was already expecting something like that. I just continue grinning at her as her assault gets more and more violent, but this pain is nothing to me. I wasn't expecting it to be quite so simple, but it seems to work just fine. Love is such a great weapon against someone, now that I know how to use it... Well, I probably won't be able to use it for much longer, if this goes on...

"You know... ugh... it was fun. Every night there was... ack... someone with me, someone other than you..." Just a little bit more and she really will kill me with her bare fists... Haa... This is actually pretty exhausting, I wish she would just get it over with already... Suddenly she stops and looks at my face again, almost as if she just made a mistake...

"Ah... I... I'm sorry! Even if that was true... it was your choice, wasn't it? Even if you did... sleep with Siam... I... no matter what, I want to take you home with me, even if you slept with every damn member of Snake!" Damn it... How can it be so difficult to die!? That's all I'm trying to do here... Well, it doesn't seem as if I could convince Canaan in any way, so I will have to take matters into my own hands...

"Just so you know it, I didn't sleep with that stupid bastard even once! Or with anyone else, for that matter. But since you won't help me I will just do it myself..." I take out my gun and put it to my own head, the real gun I was carrying with me, not the one with nacrotic agent... I just have to pull the trigger now and it will be over, won't it? Haha, after all these years it will be over... I look at Canaan one last time, this time there are tears in my swollen eyes as well...

"No! I won't allow that!" Wha-!? I was careless, I was so sure of my death that I didn't pay any attention to Canaan at all and she managed to put my hand with the gun above my head before I could shoot... Now she is getting even closer again, gently caressing my beaten face... I don't get her at all. "Alphard, how about you make a deal with me? I will kill you if you still want it by the end of it, but unless you accept I won't let you die..."

"Damn, I didn't think I would have to haggle for the price of my own death... Well, I don't have much of a choice, do I? Fine, I will accept your conditions, whatever they might be." It wouldn't be too hard to get her off me and still do it somehow, but I'm just not in the mood for it right now, I'm somewhat interested in what Canaan might have to say, though I don't think she will convince me of keeping my life...

"Is that so? Then it's settled! You know, I couldn't kill you right now either way, you aren't alive the way you are now. Therefore you have to live before I can kill you. I will watch over you from now on and as soon as I think you are alive again I will ask you whether you still want to die. But until then you aren't allowed to die, did you get that!?" I can't help it, I just burst out laughing. This is just... I don't even now it, it's not exactly making me happy, but it certainly is funny.

"And how did you imagine things would go? Will you have me attend some international meeting and make me say 'Hello, I am Alphard Alshua, I feel kind of sorry about what I did on my last international meeting, but I would very much appreciate it if you could pardon me.'?" Now she is looking at me perplexed, as if she was expecting me to answer that question for her... She couldn't really think that, could she...?

"Uh, actually... it's a funny thing that you would mention this, but I thought maybe... I don't know... you could do something about that...?" Even if she isn't aware of it she has a great sense for humour, but I don't think that would convince the world to leave me alone. And like hell I would leave the world alone, I'm far from done with it... "It's not as if many new about you being alive either way, right? Maybe we could just leave..."

"First of all, what is it with that 'we'? You don't really want to be with me for the rest of your life either way, so that makes it 'I'. Secondly, I don't have any plans to leave the stage in the exact moment I stepped on it again. Thirdly, that wouldn't even be possible, this was broadcasted live to most of the members of Snake." Hmhm, I think this will teach them a lesson or two. Unless they want their head on a silver plate they will think twice about betraying me... The broadcast ended as soon as our private encounter began, but that was more than enough...

"You did... what? That ruins our whole chance to just leave the war and everything else behind! But there is a 'we' now, we will do this together, who else could decide whether you are alive or not? Besides, I want it no other way..." She really is hopeless, isn't she? All of my attempts to cure her 'love' have proven futile so far, even the most drastic treatments I could think of, she was really hurt, but it had no further effect on her. I should probably ask one of our researchers...

"Fine, I don't really care... so, what do we do now? Should I turn myself in and wait to receive a death penalty or a life sentence? Sorry, but I'm not going to do that. In other words all that is left is running away or returning to one of my headquarters. Running away isn't an option, that would just mean we procrastinate the problem. So, that would mean returning to my headquarters." Though that would make her a terrorist. Or maybe not...

"It's not as if you'd leave me much of a choice, right? I guess we will go to your headquarters, that seems to be the only way there is..." Hm, that could be rather interesting, Canaan as a terrorist... but it's kind of a dead-end job, so I wouldn't really want that for Canaan. But she doesn't have to follow me out of her own will, that would be a rather good solution, in my opinion. If I just take her out and abduct her in the meantime I am the bad one and everything is how it always was...

"Well, I already have a solution, though you probably won't like it... but you should get off me now, otherwise I can't do that." She was holding me down for the whole time, afraid I would use that gun, I suppose. I drop it as a sign that I won't end my life anymore and she does let go of my arms, though she doesn't exactly let go of me... I really have to find a doctor about this, I don't think I should expose myself to someone infected with 'love' for too long...

"You know, I would rather like some kind of a reward for all of my efforts so far..." I don't like the look in her eyes, it reminds me a little bit of the way Siam or some other men... or Liang Qi often looked at me... and her actions also seem to be similar. She is nestling up to me again, this time even close, until our lips almost touch... I really have to show her her limits, otherwise she will think she can just do whatever she wants.

"And what is with that kind of behaviour, if I might ask?" She suddenly lets go of me and jumps up, apparently she forgot that she didn't even confess her love so far. We are far from lovers, lovers aren't something fitting in my line of work, emotions just hinder one and make one disregard logic and reason. Though I suppose I am guilty of that as well, to some extend... "Besides, this really isn't the place for such things, with all the corpses..."

"I... I didn't... I was just so relieved! I didn't mean it like that at all!" Well, this is a phase Liang Qi went through as well, denial. Not that it matters, I will find some kind of a cure for her. Do I even want that...? I should want it, for her sake, but... It doesn't matter what I want, I should think of what is best for her. I rise up and dust off my coat a little bit and pull out my newest toy, a small gun with syringes filled with narcotic agent instead of bullets...

"Now then, it is time to go." I pull the trigger and a syringe flies towards Canaan, hitting her on the shoulder. Perfect, this way she is my hostage and no one will suspect she collaborates with me, it is a rather amusing plan, in my opinion. All I have to do now is leave a note for Natsume and carry Canaan away...

"Alphard... what... why did you..." And she stumbles a little bit, pulling the now empty syringe out of her shoulder. Very good, it appears as if the drug would work on her as well, that is very useful for me. She is still awake for now, but after roughly three minutes she should be asleep. Now the note for Natsume...

'Dear Natsume, I apologise for not being able to welcome you properly, but maybe we can have our picnic some other time? Today wasn't sunny either way. Besides, I will be borrowing Canaan for a while, I hope you don't mind, though I will take your silence as a 'yes'. Well, I will be going now, try to find me if you have nothing better to do. Sincerely yours, Alphard Alshua' Haha, this is always the way things were back then, to be honest I missed these days... 'PS, I'm sorry, but I think I will leave the cleaning to you...'

"Don't worry, just relax and sleep, I will take care of the matters at hand until then. Oh, and you can open the doors now..." I lift her over my shoulder and wait a moment for the guards to open the doors, though it doesn't take them more than five seconds. Well, they didn't seem to have much work to do at all, I was able to uncover their plots before they even were set into motion, but they still did a good job. At least they won't have to clean up...

"Alphard, what are you..." She is still awake, but I don't think she has much longer. It is a very harmless drug, it won't make her addicted and the chances of permanent damage are close to zero, I would have nothing else for her either way... Though she is a good bit heavier than I remember her to be... Well, not that it matters, I remember her as a child who was lucky if she had enough to eat for the day, so this is probably for the better.

"You should just sleep, don't worry. I will take you somewhere."

"Alphard-sama! I came to report in, no strange activities in the military or within your organisation, but a unit under the control of Natsume seems to be moving towards this place. Uh, sorry to be so bland, but what happened to your face and who is that?" Oh, my face? Well, Canaan was quite rough, so it is rather swollen and there are some scratches as well... Not that it really matters to me, most of this should vanish in the next few days.

"They were this fast? Very well, use the distraction I had prepared. And I seem to remember telling you to mind your own business, but I will answer you, just this once. I received a beating in there, that is part of my job, as well as yours. And this person... I don't really know what I should say about her, but she is of some importance to me." A younger soldier, I suppose, the older ones wouldn't question my motivation for doing something.

"Uh, sorry, Alphard-sama, I just didn't think you could take a beating! Forgive me, I will not be so rude again..." Oh, for the sake of... I will have to straighten up all those lies and half-truths floating around about me again. I suppose they see me as some sort of legendary terrorist or something stupid like that, but that is an image only a fool would want, I rather want to be underestimated than overestimated, that is usually much more useful. Now I will need a ride...


	8. Christmas with Alphard?

**Alphard's POV,** on the street after the last chapter

…

Hm, here I am, on the street in front of the hotel I rend for this little operation, though I'm not sure if this was a success or a failure... Probably both at the same time, I didn't get killed, but this doesn't seem to be such a bad alternative, I guess. It might be a lot like it was back then, before I killed Siam and started all of this... No, it won't. Time never returns to what it was like before something happens, it always moves on, regardless of wishes or hopes.

Time is such a cruel thing, even if we don't move on at all it moves ahead of us and just leaves us behind if we don't follow it... Yet it treats us all equally, without thinking about things like money, power, race or gender. Time doesn't care for such meaningless and illusionary things we humans like to measure things with, in a way that makes time very kind as well, it won't discriminate anyone, it brings all of us equally to our death, earlier or later...

I hold out my free hand to make a car halt, it actually does. I must look very suspicious right now, with Canaan's body over my shoulder and my swollen face, but I can't really help it, I will need a civilian to drive me, the members of Snake will provide a distraction for me... for us to get away. Inside the car sits a middle-aged man who appears to be from China, I guess this makes things easier for me, I rather don't speak in some languages I don't know very well.

"Sorry, but I'm not working right now, I'm just here as a tourist to follow Nene on her tour. What do you want?" Hm, Nene... That was that new idol, wasn't it? Well, it was back then, now she is a star recognised all over the globe. Times do change a lot. Not that I really care for those kinds of things, but Liang Qi was often howling her songs at night and it was next to impossible not to at least catch a little bit of that...

"I don't really care if you are working right now or not, you will drive us where I tell you to, understood?" I pull out my gun and point it at him through the window, though he doesn't seem to be very fazed by this. Hm, from what I can tell he is just a normal human with no experience in war, he has no visible scars or anything like that, yet he looks at me as if it was nothing. Quite amazing, most humans would cower in fear, yet he looks me straight in the eyes...

"Listen, Miss, I don't really care about that thing you have there, if you don't give me a good reason to drive you I won't do it, it's simple as that." Not bad at all, I kind of like him already, he has more backbone than most enemies I ever encountered. If I get him to drive us I might even consider offering him a job, though I don't know if he would accept the offer. Well, I can worry about that once I convinced him, though I already have a rather good idea of what to say...

"Because, because this is love!" I do feel rather silly for singing that while carrying Canaan over my shoulder, but I guess there is some truth to it, Canaan seems to be in love with me, so it's not even a lie. He just gives me a broad grin and nots for me to get in. It seems that what appears to be the most useless of knowledge can still be of some use in some very specific situations. I take the seat next to the driver and take Canaan on my lap, putting my right arm around her back to support her after closing the door behind her.

"So, you're also a fan of Nene, huh? She's just great, isn't she? Well, I will drive you to any place you like, but you should hurry up a little bit, her next concert will start in an hour and I won't be late or miss it, no matter what." Well, one hour should be more than enough, I just want to hide in the old building I used to stay in until the sun sets, afterwards I will leave, meet Cummings and make plans for the future. Heh, a future doesn't sound all that bad now...

"Well, who doesn't like Nene? Just start driving and do so as fast as you can, I will give you the directions while driving. I see we already have some unwanted guests..." Natsume's servants seem to be faster than I thought, they are already here... Black cars? She has absolutely no sense of discretion at all, she could just give them labels saying 'suspicious' in bright red letters, it wouldn't make the whole thing much more suspicious either way...

"Fast you say? Well, it's been a while since I had an exciting job, let's do this!" Not bad, he starts out pretty fast, in fact much faster than any of the signs suggest, but it is much more fun this way either way, I never really cared for rules. Hm, now I can see the helicopter taking off from the top of the building as well, they will probably rather try to track that one down. Some of them are still following us, though I don't think they saw me entering this car.

"Ah, it really has been a while since I had this much fun. Though you should speed up a little-" Oh great, '_Construction site ahead_'... Well, now we can see if this driver is a man of his word and the real thing or just some would-be. He doesn't seem to be fazed by the construction site either, he just speeds up.

"This isn't enough, I need more gas!" And with that he turns on his radio, there seems to be a CD in it already, though I don't really know how that could help us in this situation. Well, I will just let him surprise me, this should be entertaining. If he isn't able to do get us away from these people I will have to kill these men after us and I rather would avoid that, it would just draw unwanted attention to us... "Let's do it China style; With **HIGH TENSION! **Sing along!"

"Hm, how did the lyrics go again...? I think I got it. Koi o sagashite tonnanshaapee meguri..." Hm, I'm actually getting into this somehow, though I didn't think my subconsciousness would remember such useless information. Well, now it is far from useless, I suppose, as we are crashing through the danger signs and driving over pipes and pieces of concrete... I really missed this feeling, there were a whole lot of things I couldn't do undercover...

"Come on, more passion! Anata mitsuketa kamisama sheishei!" Well, it certainly is easy to get into this song, even for me, though I never really sang it before. That probably makes it a pretty good song, it isn't too terrible. I think I could get used to this... Our pursuers seem to have less luck with the open street, one of them did try to follow us and their wheels didn't go along with this, they have at least one flat tyre now...

I continue singing along, it seems to make him rather happy and that is probably a good thing for Canaan and myself, this must be the best driver I ever had. Seeing how he can drive I would almost consider employing him as my personal chauffeur, but I don't think he would accept that offer... Well, asking wouldn't cost me anything, would it? "Hey, what's your name and would you mind working for me in the future?"

"The name's Jin and you can give me a call if you need a driver, here's my number, now go on singing!" He offers me a small note with a number on it, apparently his handy number. Well, now I know who to call if I ever need someone for a dangerous mission which includes driving... Oh, a dead end, only some rather big pipes leaning against the wall. Is he planning to...? "**Chaina kibun de hai tenshon!**"

"Haha, I could get used to this kind of driving!" I don't quite know how he did this, but he somehow did it. We are driving up the pipes and into the sky, this feeling is priceless, far better than any stupid helicopter or plane! And I can call him at will now, though I won't use that too often. The music is also rather enjoyable, at least better than most of the other stuff one could hear in the radio these days, pretty energetic.

"And I could get used to this kind of passengers, you have an awesome voice, you could be the next Nene, if you gave it some work. Though your voice is a little bit too deep for her songs you definitely have some talent." A career as a singer? Well, not really my case, that doesn't have the excitement I like so much about my current 'occupation' as leader of Snake, but I could probably do it in my free time... Though I don't think I will.

"Thanks, but that's not really my line of work, I will have to pass, I will just leave the singing to Nene." He seems to be rather pleased in total and so am I. Canaan is still groaning a little bit as we hit the ground again, but other than that she doesn't react at all, though I think I saw her blinking at one point. Not that it matters, this would probably be fun for her as well, maybe...

"Well, I don't think you could replace Nene, no one will ever be able to do that, but you should still give it some thought." It would be rather amusing if I would someday publish some album or something and get famous for it, though I am already famous enough, I guess. Though I would love to see Natsume's facial expression if she would learn of that, it would probably be priceless, almost worth the trouble of doing all that. But it wouldn't really fit my image...

"To the left now and stop, we are there already." This old building will serve as my hideout one last time, at least I hope this will be the last time, maybe I can be somewhere else by tomorrow already. The car comes to a sudden halt as he brakes sharply, we make half a circle before stopping completely. This kind of driving is just wonderful, I should ask him to be my driving instructor in the future or something. Well, probably not, but I will use his services sometime. "Thanks a lot."

"No problem, I did it for another fan of Nene, we should definitely help out each other, that's what she'd want as well. I will be on my way now, take care of your friend there, I think she had one too many..." It certainly looks that way, though I am surprised that she is still moving at all, she should be fast asleep right now. Or maybe she is fast asleep and has some strange dream which involves fondling my breasts... It doesn't feel too bad, but still...

"What am I going to do with you, Canaan...? Well, I'm sure we will meet again, see you." I never thought that a day would come when knowing the songs of a certain singer would save me a lot of trouble, but I was just proven wrong by this man. Who knows if he'd even let me enter if it wasn't for that song which just popped up in my head when I thought of Nene. There he goes, driving away with a normal pace as if nothing had happened...

Home, sweet home... Not really sweet or home, but I take what I can get and for the next five hours this will be my home again... Oh, and Sirius is here as well, though I wasn't expecting to see him ever again. I come in through the front door, though that term probably doesn't apply to the door frame alone. The hallway looks just as bad as the entrance, though the door at the end of it seems to have done better. All in all not the place I would take Canaan to, but it will have to do.

There is a nice crack in the wall, connected to another small room, it is pretty good for hiding out if I put something in front of it, for example the drawer standing next to it, though it doesn't really qualify as a drawer either, it's more of a board with a base. Sirius doesn't really seem to be happy about me bringing Canaan here, I guess he thinks of her as an intruder or something, but I give the shots around here... I carefully push Canaan through the crack into the small room, she is completely asleep now.

I should probably take a look at my face as well, now that I have some time to myself. I take a small shard of what probably was once a mirror and take a look at Canaan's work. She did a pretty good job, there is some dried blood from the scratches and I think she got my nose bleeding as well, though I didn't really pay any attention to it all at that time, at least it's not broken. Hm, my lower lip is rather swollen as well, but the same thing can be said about my whole face at the moment.

If I had just provoked her a little bit more she might have actually done it, I am rather lucky that I didn't get any lacerations. I guess talking about my supposed sexuality like that really hit home with her, she really seems to have fallen in love with me or something, though that is rather weird. I don't get it at all, I did almost everything I could to make her hate me, yet things ended up like this. Fate really hates me, I guess.

Sirius is sniffing at Canaan and growling a little bit, but he doesn't do anything to her, so I guess it's fine. Now I am in some real trouble, just how inconsiderate can Canaan be... I have to plan for the future now, it's not just my life or that of my soldiers I would throw away now if I didn't, she is my responsibility as well...Strangely enough Siam hasn't appeared to me lately, I would figure his illusion would come to ridicule me in that moment close to my death or in the situation I am in now, but nothing...

Well, I certainly won't complain about that, I'm glad he's gone, at least for a little while, who knows if this will last... I can't help but heaving a heavy sigh, what am I supposed to do now... I made some plans which would work after my anticipated death, but I never made any plans which would involve me after this encounter, I didn't have a reason to think I would survive and I didn't hope to survive either...

Well, I could 'employ' Canaan, but that way she would just be hated and hunted as well, that fate waits for her either way if she wants to 'be with me'. Does she even realise the burden it would be for her? I had nothing to lose by joining Snake at that time except for Canaan and I thought it would be better for her if I did what I did, but she has a lot to lose... I could return her to Natsume, but she would just continue searching for me...

Hm, so there is no escape for her, no more. She is caught up in all of this as well, there is no way I can make her leave my side now... I could still kill myself right now, but that would probably not work out the way I want it to, after that time on the train she was an emotional wreck until I started talking to her again as 'Kodoku', her condition got a lot better when I told her there was just the smallest hope I might still be out there, somewhere...

Besides, I promised I would try to live, more or less. Canaan, what are you doing with me... If there is no way back I will have to take the bull by the horns and try something very bold, world domination was never really my goal or anything like that, but now it almost seems like the only choice. Well, of course not world domination, rather a country of my own, I don't want to be too greedy in the beginning. A home where I could just live happily with Canaan...

Hah, it's almost laughable, a comedy of fate or something like that. World domination certainly is out of the question, that would take far too much effort to maintain, but a rather big strip of land just for Canaan and myself could be possible, I would have to haggle a lot with the government of that place, but I can be rather convincing. But that would be the same as quitting Snake and it would just change my enemies, not eliminate them all. Besides, strange as it might be, I enjoy my job...

There is no way out of this without fighting, that much is certain. I prefer the way things were way back then, Snake and I against the rest of the world, but I don't want Canaan caught up in all of that. This is one of those few times when I can see absolutely no favourable outcome of the situation, no matter what I do... Ultimately Canaan will have to make a decision and I will have to comply, I can't make a decision of such importance for her future. Besides, she certainly has grown...

She is an adult now, more or less, and she has to make her own decisions in the future, just as she did by leaving me alive, even encouraging me to live... I will do what she asks me to, unless I think that solution wouldn't work out the way she wants it to. If it would make her happy I would even turn myself in, but that way we wouldn't be able to see each other ever again, that probably wouldn't be the outcome she would like the most...

Well, there is no way there would be an outcome that would be exactly what she wants, I don't really care about myself in that matter... her hopes are probably just the naïve dreams of a child that this will be just as in some fairy tale and everything would suddenly be fine as soon as she found me, but that's just not how the world works. Well, I could use all of the information I have on some governments to force them to do as I please...

I have to be about as stupid as her, if I was any better I would just forget about her and return to Snake, but if I could do that I would've done so years ago. I can't forget her for some reason, no matter how hard I try, no matter how often I tell myself it would be the best for both of us, I always ended up giving Canaan hints to find me... She is the only person I ever really cared about, I didn't care about Siam or any member of Snake or anyone else, just her...

Do I love her as well? I was always somewhat attracted to her, in a way, I think she is very beautiful and I was rather angry at that time when Natsume called her a freak indirectly, by insulting that girl who ended up looking just like her. She was the result of my research, I never told anyone about her. Somewhat ironic, I was trying to find a cure for Canaan, not reproduce her genetic mutations in someone else. The way she looks she is bound to encounter hatred, just because she looks different.

I was down there a lot in those days, just gazing at the frozen form of that girl who ended up looking just like Canaan... I wonder if it was just an accident, maybe it is related to the genetic mutations, but that would be rather unlikely, the hairs on the outside aren't alive and thus any change in the genes should leave them the way they were before the change... Well, the Ua virus isn't something science can explain that well as of yet, I spend years researching it and learned a lot about it, but not enough...

All I know is that these changes can't be undone once they are triggered, the subjects of these tests had to suffer a lot for that much to become apparent. Well, they were still better off than those unfortunate enough to fall into the hands of Liang Qi, I never inflicted any pain on them without believing it would benefit me, she just did it for her own pleasure... And now Natsume probably works on reproducing my research somewhere...

Well, that is none of my business, it might be better for her subjects if she has some knowledge of the virus instead of just messing around with some samples she has. The results of messing around with that virus can be very unpleasant, to say the least, or very beneficial, depending on the genetic structure of the subject. One of the subjects had his natural acid mantle of the skin become far too strong, effectively corroding it while he was still alive...

Of course I didn't give her the data needed to reproduce Canaan's specific mutation, that data was destroyed years ago and it only exists in my head now, vaguely. I have also developed quite some weapons during my research, specifically for the use against borners, but I never wanted to harm Canaan in any way... If Natsume ever has some success with her own research I will be prepared for her, the antibodies I created are capable of destroying them, though it won't reverse the effects...

Well, whatever. I think I will head out for a little while and buy something edible. Come to think of it, today was some kind of a special day, wasn't it? At least in Europe, all those strange decorations and that old man in a red suit... Oh, that's right, it is Christmas. A Christian tradition without any meaning for me, but Siam did like celebrating it and Canaan just loved it back then, though I don't think they ever really believed in it, neither did I. But still, maybe I should...

"Sirius, you will stay here and guard our 'home', I will be out for a while and get you something to eat as well." Hm, I don't think he understood me, but that doesn't matter, I will just close the door in the hallway behind myself and he will have to stay here and take care of Canaan as well, at least he should warn her if there is an intruder. The sedative should wear off in about half an hour either way, I will just leave her a small note.

All done, I lay the note down next to Canaan and take Sirius with me through the crack in the wall, afterwards I place the drawer in front of it, I don't think anyone will find it now if he doesn't know about it or has a lot of time, there are quite some abandoned buildings close by. Now I leave through the door in the hallway and close it to prevent Sirius from following me, he should guard Canaan. It certainly is a lot colder outside, probably because of the wind...

…

**Canaan's POV**, some time after Alphard's departure

...

Uh... My head feels so strange... Rather light, but also pretty painful... I slowly open my eyes and look around a little bit, but I don't recognise this place at all... it looks like a small storeroom or something like that. What am I doing here...? The last thing I remember was Alphard... I finally caught up to her and now I wake up in some strange place, without her... Was that just a dream as well...? No, I'm pretty sure it wasn't a dream...

"Woof! Woof!" What...? A dog... maybe this is a dream after all? I really don't know... There are some footsteps approaching this place, but they aren't coming from the door... I sit up and my head hurts pretty much, but now I can see where they seem to come from... There is a pretty big crack in the wall and a wooden wall at the end of it, the steps and the dog have to be beyond there... I try to stand up, but I'm not able to do it, I feel far too weak...

"That car was supposedly seen somewhere around here, wasn't it? All I saw here are some run-down buildings which need to be demolished and some stray dogs and homeless people, one dirtier than the next, not a trace of them. A complete waste of time..." That voice sounds as if it would belong to a man, though I don't know who it could be. Apparently he is searching for someone and he's not alone. I should probably just remain quiet, the dog makes a lot of noise, but I don't want to risk anything...

"This is the best lead we have, if she did escape with the helicopter we have no way of following them at the moment. And there were reports of some crazy driver around here, apparently he left someone here, so we might as well search. Though I don't think Alphard would hide in such a dirty place..." Alphard... So I'm probably with Alphard right now and that voice sounded as if it would belong to Natsume... Should I contact her?

"That's probably true. But she got you pretty good, didn't she? She tricked you and Canaan into defeating those leaders who were apparently renegades in her eyes and took you out afterwards, kidnapping Canaan in the meantime and she even left you a nice little note. A real shame you couldn't have your little picnic, right?" He sounds as if he was mocking Natsume, but that's probably what happened. Apparently Alphard kidnapped me...

"As if you would've done any better, according to our information she was going to join them and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to take them all out, but she got me before I even could see her face and she probably tricked that freaky child somehow and sedated her, though I don't know what she's planning now. I'm pretty sure it's not a picnic..." What is it with that picnic? Well, I probably shouldn't contact Natsume, I will just wait for Alphard to come back and explain everything to me...

"Well, since there is nothing here but an angry dog we should probably move on and search somewhere else, I don't want to catch rabies or some other nasty disease..." And their steps are moving away again, it is pretty convenient that this dog was there to distract them, otherwise they might have found me and Alphard later on... I don't get her at all, it seems as if I was her hostage or something like that right now, but I don't mind it as much as I probably should...

Though I really wonder what she might be thinking about, using some kind of sedative on me and taking me all the way here. I think I remember some scenes from the way, though it is rather choppy. Somehow I remember Alphard singing some kind of song and other weird things, but it makes no sense whatsoever, though I have to admit she is better at singing than I thought, she never used to sing with me back then...

And what happened to her face...? She still looked rather pretty, but why was she so... oh... That was my fault, wasn't it? I didn't see it very well, but it looked rather bad... I was really angry when she told me she slept with Siam, Liang Qi and many others, though I guess that was just another one of her lies. I should have seen through that one from the very beginning, Alphard never really seemed to do anything just for fun, there was always a strange sense of obligation coming from her...

I'm rather happy about that, I was very unsure when she said Siam saw her as a woman and... did it with her, it is true that Siam looked at her in a different way than how he looked at me, though I wasn't really sure how to interpret that look... and Liang Qi was the same, she also looked at Alphard with those eyes... Siam also went to her at night sometimes, I was rather bewildered about that at the time, but I think he might have liked her that way...

It certainly wouldn't be very hard to imagine, Alphard is very attractive and she has some sort of... charisma, maybe? Regardless of whether I loved her or hated her, I always admired her somewhere, she has been a very good leader for her organisation and she has a presence like no other person, it is somewhat hard to describe... She had a very playful attitude as well, especially when she was fighting me or someone else, but she didn't feel silly at any time, there was always something threatening about her as well...

This was enough rest, I try to stand up again, this time without much trouble. I wonder how long I was out, there is rather little light coming in through some holes in the ceiling and it looks like dusk or something like that, so probably around five? I should probably take a look around, Natsume and her lackeys should be somewhere else now, maybe in some other building or they gave up on it, it is getting dark already and these buildings would be perfect for an ambush...

Hm, there is a small piece of paper lying next to me, but it isn't bright enough to read it here, maybe outside... I crawl through the crack in the wall and push the drawer aside, though it's really more of a board. On the other side I can see the dog, he is rather big and his fur is grey, though the dogs I used to see were a lot dirtier, he doesn't really look like a stray animal. He is looking back at me and growling a little bit, though he seems to tolerate my presence. Now for the note...

"Canaan, I will be out for a little while and get us something to eat and so on, you should wait where you are, Sirius will probably warn you if anyone approaches you. I will come back soon if I can, it shouldn't take me very long, escape if it takes me more than two hours from dusk onwards. Of course you are free to go if you rather would leave, that's your decision... Well, I think I will see you again once I return, stay out of trouble. Alphard Alshua" Well, the handwriting is hers, I'm pretty sure of that.

I will stay here for a while, though it is rather cold, this stupid suit doesn't really help either, so I just take it off, I have my usual outfit under it either way, though I would like to have my jacket now... It could be worth, I will rather feel cold for some hours than losing Alphard again, she said she would probably come back, hopefully with something to eat... I should have eaten something in the morning, but I was far too excited and didn't feel that hungry, but now...

"Sirius?" I call out to the dog, I guess Alphard meant him when she wrote 'Sirius' would warn me, he did a pretty good job. At least I can't see or hear anyone else close by, so I guess it is him. He does twitch his ears a little bit, but he doesn't seem to relax, he still looks at me as if I was intruding on his territory or something like that. I never knew Alphard had a dog, though I think he suits her somewhat, if he was black he would be just like her...

Well, that's not really true, Alphard was never very loud and rather kept silent for the most part, unless she had to. Besides, he isn't even close to her in terms of intimidation, compared to her his attempts are rather pathetic... And I can't say much about his character just because he doesn't seem to like me very much, that's his choice, sometimes I just dislike someone without a reason as well. So, what should I do now?

It's getting dark pretty fast now, in a few minutes it'll probably be night already. Two hours at most, though I don't have any way of knowing when two hours will be over, I don't have a clock with me. Hm, my gun seems to be in place, Alphard probably retrieved it for me. I guess that doesn't really make me her hostage or captive if she leaves me running around with my gun and deliberately tells me in her letter that I can leave if I want to...

So Alphard probably has some sort of a plan already, though I want to hear it as soon as she returns. Maybe it's something stupid again and she wants to sacrifice herself or something like that, I won't allow such a plan. I will save Alphard somehow and tell her about my feelings at some point, though my actions probably made that much clear already... What was I even thinking, trying to kiss her all of a sudden and asking her for a 'reward'...

Seriously, I should tell her about my feeling and wait for an answer on her part before I try something like that, she's probably rather angry with me. But she didn't really resist me either, so I don't really know what I should think about that. And there is that incident in the bath, I don't think I even want to know whether it was a dream or not any more... I was trying to get way too intimate with her, that's not something I could still write off as sisterly...

Yeah, I have to tell her! I just don't know how I should go about that, maybe I should just try telling her directly? There is no way Alphard didn't notice it so far... On the other hand she never was that good with human emotions, so maybe she didn't notice it or wrote it off as something else... If I tell her she will probably just tease me about it and maybe she does feel something for me, if I don't tell her I might never know and regret it... I should definitely tell her!

"Canaan, I'm back..." Eh...? Alphard! Now of all times she has to return, I'm still pretty flushed... but she did bring something to eat with her in a bag, that is rather nice. It smells like something fried... and she has cotton candy! I always wanted to try that, but I never got any of it... Though this behaviour is rather strange for Alphard, in my opinion. Well, I won't complain, both the food and the cotton candy are welcome... "Merry Christmas, I guess..."

"Christmas...? Oh, that's right..." It was Christmas, wasn't it? It has been over two years since I looked forward to that time of the year, Siam always held a small celebration with us and even Alphard gave me a present once, the necklace I still wear... I don't really know why I never got rid of it, there were a lot of times when I just wanted to rip it from my neck and stomp on it, but for some reason I still kept it... "Merry Christmas..."

"Haha, you are far less enthusiastic than you used to be. I still remember how you were almost jumping around before getting your present." Well, there were three of us the last time I celebrated Christmas or my birthday, though I don't know my real birthday so Siam told me I could just use the day when I got the name Canaan... I know that those days will never come back now that he is dead, but I can't bring myself to hate Alphard any more... "Maybe a present would lighten up your mood a little bit?"

"Uh, that really isn't necessary, I don't have anything to give you in return..."Why is she so friendly and cheerful all of a sudden? She tried to kill herself a couple of hours ago, for crying out loud! Maybe she's doing it for me, that would be very nice... if she did it just for me that would mean I am something for her, something more than Liang Qi or her other servants... I want to be important to her and I think I am, maybe I should tell her...

"Well, you gave me my life or a chance to live, didn't you? I think that's better than what I could give you either way, isn't it? Just take it already." She fishes a small box wrapped up in fancy paper out of a pocket of her coat, it looks rather cute how she holds it out to me... She probably has a point, I did give her her life, but I didn't do it to get some reward or anything else out of it, I did it to be with her... I guess that could count as a reward as well...

"Well, uh... thank you..." I take it from her hand and take a closer look at it, it doesn't look very impressive like this, but I don't know what is in it, I'm a little bit hesitant to just tear up the fancy paper, it looks pretty nice, it's dark blue with some silver stars as decorations, it's rather beautiful how they glitter in the last light of the day...I look at Alphard a little bit quizzically and she just gives me a broad grin, in spite of her swollen face with scratches all over...

"What? I didn't booby-trap it or anything, that's not my style. Or do you need a hand, is the gift wrap too much for you?" Now she's pretty much mocking me, so I focus on the present again, slowly undoing the red ribbon around it. Afterwards I take off the gift wrap as well and now there is a small and black box with a hinged lid. I slowly open it and find a small ring inside of it, it looks pretty expensive, probably silver and a pretty colourless but sparkling stone worked into it, as well as some ornaments...

"Wow... It's really beautiful..." It looks so pretty, the way it reflects the light... The ornaments remind me a little bit of a snake biting it's own tail, though it could be something else as well, it was probably a lot of work to make something this detailed... It looks rather valuable, but I don't really know much about gemstones or precious metals, so I can't tell if it's actually valuable or not, but I don't really care... "Thank you... Thank you very much!" I throw my arms around her and smile...

"Hey, hey, it's fine... See it as an apology for being away for so long without even telling you about it once." Oh Alphard, so you do care... It's still a little bit awkward to look into her face like this, I feel pretty bad about beating her up like this, but it feels pretty nice to hold her like this... especially when the air around us is so cold, Alphard is so warm... It just feels so- Ouch! What the hell is that...? "Oh, Sirius. I guess I don't have to introduce you."

"Why is this dog biting me!? Damn it, let go!" He has a pretty good grip on my pants and is tugging me away from Alphard... Seriously, what's his problem? I was just having a good time with Alphard and I think I could've stayed like this a little bit longer if it wasn't for him...

"Sirius, let go. I will get rather unpleasant if you don't..." Now he lets go of my pants immediately and he's whimpering a little bit with his tail between his legs... even his ears are hanging down. Well, serves him right, though I would prefer it if he would listen to me that way... "Good dog. Hm, it seems as if he didn't respect you very much as of yet, sorry. Let's just eat something for now, here you go. Some tarte flambèe, chips and some Cola, that should be just fine."

"Thanks, though I have no idea what that first thing you mentioned was..." Hm, it looks like some kind of cake with onions and ham, I take a piece and taste it, it's actually pretty good. The chips are nothing special, just the same as always, more or less, but still not bad, the same is true for the cola. But it still tastes much better than anything I ate in the last year or so, at least I can share this with someone... I put the food down for a moment and put the ring on my left ring finger, much better...

"Oh, I don't think that's where you put it..." I guess that depends on the intentions, it's just where I want it to be... I put the box into one of my pockets and continue eating as if nothing had happened and Alphard seems to give up after another moment, probably writing it off as irrelevant or something like that. Now probably wouldn't be such a bad moment to confess, the mood is pretty good, but the atmosphere isn't really right for that kind of thing, I think...

"So, what's the plan now?" That's probably more important right now, I have no idea what she's planning and I'd like to have a general idea of where my life will be heading from now on...

"Well, we will meet Cummings once we're done eating, there we should get a place to sleep for tonight and we can make further plans afterwards. I think we will head to one of the headquarters of Snake in some country where it's easy to lay low for a little bit and think about what to do then. I will take care of some business while we're there and you can pretty much to whatever you want." That doesn't sound too bad, at least it's a plan for now.

"Fine, I will come along." So, what should I do from now on? I could join Alphard as a new recruit of Snake, but that would be a little bit... I don't know. Alphard doesn't seem to have any plans of leaving Snake, but maybe she will... I guess I will just play along and wait for a while, I can make a decision once I know what exactly those kinds of jobs she would have for me would be... I don't think it could be much worse than working for Natsume, that would be hard to top.

"All the better, I would've taken you along either way, you are my captive either way." Now she's giving me a pretty broad grin again, I don't think she actually means that, but I don't really want to find that out the hard way... She could probably force me to come along as well if she really wanted to, but I want to follow her either way... Now for a little bit of cola, the food she brought is pretty salty...

"You only brought one bottle, right?" She throws a piece of this strange food, whatever it was called again, to the ground for Sirius and he happily picks it up, afterwards she looks at me a little bit confused, as if to say 'So what?'. I guess it doesn't really matter, I will just have to share it with her. I already gave her a kiss either way, though I wonder if it was her first one as well... "Hm, we'll just have to share it, right?"

"Yes, that's what I thought as well, or are you particularly thirsty?" I just can't seem to tease her at all... Well, one day I will find a way to embarrass her.

"No, it's fine. Hey, what are you-!?" This stupid dog, now he even tried to steal some of my food! Alphard should really teach him some manners, though he doesn't even try to take anything away from her.

"Haha, it would seem as if you were the lowest rank in our little pack right now, I'm the leader and he's somewhere in the middle, at least he probably thinks so." Maybe, it still annoys me a lot... "You can have some of mine if you want to, I didn't feel very hungry either way. You can eat the rest on the way, the office isn't very far away." We both stand up and I walk next to Alphard, that stupid dog still between us...

…

Author's note: Well, merry Christmas, a small special for the readers, though it isn't really something special, I guess... Regardless of that Nyria and I both wish you a merry Christmas. Hm, that won't interest anyone for the rest of the year, but whatever. We hope you still enjoyed it, you can leave a review or something like that to tell us whether we should include such events into our fanfictions or rather just write another chapter, if you feel like it.


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